getting old

In a few months my eldest will be in kindergarten.   He’s very prepared for this and constantly impresses the crap out of Dean and I with his intelligence.  One day last week he was working hard at the kitchen table on this picture.  it’s a picture of a person and he labeled the body parts.  he never asked how to spell the body parts, he sounded them out as he has been taught to in school.  so he spelled “foot” – fut.   My favorite part of the picture is “belly button” – blebtin which directly above he also wrote “belly” spelled bley.   for “leg” he spelled laeg.   and of course “head” is spelled hed.   So he may not know how to spell but he’s doing his best and for just under 5 years I think that’s pretty good.   I’ll admit I’m one proud mom, I’m sure by the beginning of school in the fall he’ll be even smarter than he is today.   Tomorrow we are all going to the zoo for his school field trip, Dean took off and we’re taking all 3 kids.   I’m looking forward to it and hoping the rain holds off.

yesterday Bo turned 18 months old.   That’s just 6 months away from turning 2!!  Soon my he wont be a baby anymore, he’ll be a real toddler.  he’s been walking and attempting to talk(he’s not big on real words, guess he figures if caleb cant spell and gets away with it what’s the point of using real words) for months, before he turned one even.   I guess with each passing day I feel like I’m losing my kids.   Before I know it they’ll all be off at school all day, then where will that leave me?  (hopefully not still going to endless drs appts!)  Bo is a smart cookie too!  He may be a boy of few “words” but he’s very vocal and such a happy kid.   He spends his days wandering around looking for new things to do.  He LOVES cars, he’s getting into an artsy phase, that or he just loves getting to be able to use markers and crayons.   I got some more color wonder ones for him, I felt bad not letting him use markers when he had to sit and Caleb use them and he’s content with using those, to him they are the same.  I also got them window markers, they arent as safe as far as making a mess but considering bo loves to hang out at the window eyeing up the outside all day he can combine the two things he likes to do!   that and it’s fun to watch the boys draw on the windows.   Bo loves cars and anything that goes.  he gets excited driving down the road and watching the cars and trucks go by.  he likes music just as much as Caleb does, he’ll often dance to music from whatevers playing on tv shows.   During the day we listen to xm christian music on the tv and he likes that too, he’s currently standing staring at the black screen listening to the music, I think he might be watching his reflection in the tv.

It’s so hard to believe 18 months ago I was having my second son.   Even more unbelievable is that 2 months ago I was having my 3rd son! It’s really no wonder I’m so tired!  This morning I awoke in so much pain( and throughout the night as well) but I picked up my wide awake infant and his smile just melted my heart.  I truly believe he’s my little reminder baby, he constantly reminds me that God does grant us our hearts desire.   just a few months after having Bo I was talking about when we’d have our next but my health was a mess then(or still) so we didnt think we could anytime soon.  I stopped nursing and got pregnant right away, something we never expected, for once my body worked the right way.   I honestly believe had I not got pregnant then that I wouldnt have ever had a 3rd son, something I wanted so much, to have more kids.   This morning as I looked at my precious Ezekiel I yearned for the chance to do it all over again.  I know that half the reason I am so sick now is because my body goes haywire after pregnancy, something that’s been proven time and again for me.   I look him and know that I might not feel this way(sick that is) if I hadnt had him, but I cant imagine life without him.   he is still so young and spends most of his day just hanging out with us, but those smiles and laughs he gives me are just what I need to bring some much needed joy to my days.

All my boys are constant reminders of God’s ability to do amazing things in my life.    Lets not forget the big boy in my life.  the man who stands beside me through it all.   My hubby is awesome, last night I was in so much pain I couldnt stand to be touched and I know all he wanted to do was comfort me but I couldnt tolerate his touch even.   He works so hard for me and the kids and tries to be understanding of how I feel.   It’s also hard for me to believe that it’s been nearly 10 years since we started seriously dating.  10 years, 3 kids, 2 cars, a house, a steady job, a great church community, friends and family…..the american dream….guess things could be worse than being sick huh? sorry I have to keep reminding myself of all the good things in my life…but it helps keep my attitude about being sick in check….thanks for putting up with me!