Breaking through the Fibrofog…

I apologize for the cr appy looking pics, something must be wrong w/ our digital camera. I couldnt get decent shots and I tried!! Maybe dean can do better when he gets home. 

I cant decide if I like having each wall having different kinds of dinosaur patterns or not but for now it will do. In general it is ok but I’m not satifisied with our furniture situation but i cant do anything about it; like I said it will do. it’s better than plain walls I suppose. Dean hasnt seen it yet since I just go Bo’s side up today, as far as his name and dinos so I have to wait to see what he thinks, not that he really cares all that much! the only thing wrong is that I couldnt find the spray paint I used for Calebs letters so I bought new and the whites arent the same so I think I will take down Calebs name and repaint it to match bo’s letters just because I’m anal like that. well Bo is in need of a diaper so gottta run. let me know what you think. Love it or hate it?? be honest…oh yeah if you cant tell, there are dinosaurs on the crib blankets in Bo’s crib!

bo fought naptime in the new crib in Calebs room but eventually went to sleep.    So at bedtime Caleb insisted we put Bo in his room with him.   So far the routine for bed was dean reads to Caleb in his room, and I put Bo to bed in his room.  tonight I took Bo to his room to rock him until Dean was done reading to Caleb.    Bo was hesitant again to be in the crib in Caleb’s room.  Eventually Bo and Caleb went to sleep, so we’ll see how night one of the boys in the same room goes!!   I’m hopeful since they are both asleep and it didnt take too long after normal bedtime.

i’ve been waiting for an email from my dr about my sugar levels, and I was honest with him and told him that if I Just eat salad for a meal then my levels are fine but if I follow the meal plan then my numbers are high.  this leaves me either cutting foods out and being hungry all day or eating by the diet and having a day of all high numbers.     I was trying to “beat” the tests by not eating as much but I was sick of being so hungry an hour after eating or sometimes sooner.    But my honesty will probably put me in more of a bind insulin wise, I might have to take it a lot more often than I did w/ the other two pregnancies.  I am upset, I hate not being able to control this.   I’ve been having horrible morning sickness back again too on top of feeling crappy and achy.   Thank goodness theres less than 10 weeks left of this craziness! and then after that I’m done babymaking!!!   I would love to do it again if it wasnt so hard on my body but I cant allow myself to struggle like this again, selfish I know but really it’s best for all of us.  When it gets to the point I have trouble caring for the kids I have now to be pregnant w/ another, well that just doesnt make sense.

we’re having trouble deciding on a name for this kid.  I have a name I love and Dean has a name he loves but they arent the same!    we never had this problem w/ the first two kids!   I dont know whene or how we’ll decide!

well thats all for tonight, Dean went out for the evening after the kids were settled, so I get to do laundry and hopefully get some much needed rest.

so by the time I got ready for bed and finally got my comfy shoes off I discovered my feet were extremely swollen.  I’ve never had swelling during a pregnancy like this, the only time my feet ever looked like this is after I deliver.   If I get an iv for a long time or even a short time, after its out I swell really badly.    So after delivering or just being in the hospital I look horrible.  My feet looked that bad last night!  I am worried now about pre-eclampsia since they already thought I might have it before but the tests were normal.  I have never had to deal w/ swelling unless I was in the hospital for something.   It’s a little better this morning but if it doesnt get a lot better soon I’m going to have to call the ob.   It’s probably nothing but I dont want it to be an issue and ignore it, not to mention it’s making my feet hurt!!   I’m guessing I just overdid it yesterday and my to do list is a lot shorter today but I still have errands to run and kids to care for so it’s not like I can sit around w/ my feet propped up all day!   well gotta get going so there might be hope if I can get done and get home to give Bo and myself a nap before Caleb gets home.

Well we were both too tired to go to the meeting at church not to mention it started at 5 and Bo was still napping!  Now the 2nd crib, which we will eventually adjust Bo to is in Calebs room.   A while ago I had won a dinosaur crib comforter and some blankets that matched, it’s nice they will finally be used!  it looks so cute! Caleb and I painted some more wood dinos for the walls.   After I get those and Bo’s name up on the wall I’ll take pics of the completed room.  Caleb is so anxious to have Bo sleep in his room, and is mad at us for not putting him there tonight!   We decided I’ll start out putting him in there for naps during the day while Caleb is school to see how he likes it.  Then after we see how that goes and if all goes well we’ll figure out a new bedtime routine that involves both boys in the same room. I cant even figure out how we’ll do it, for months now i’ve put Bo to bed in his room while Dean reads books to Caleb for bedtime.    Hoping we’ll figure out something easy that will get them both to sleep relatively at the same time!!! I used to be able to get kids to nap at the same time in the same room so lets hope I haven lost my touch!!

I got some new shoes on Friday.  I’ve been searching for some comfy brown shoes since the beginning of winter and no one had anything cute or reasonable.   I found these great shoes that are so comfy on sale on Friday.  I put them on thismorning for church and it’s after 8 pm and they are so comfy I still havent taken them off! Usually as soon as I get home my shoes come off, these feel like slippers almost and are so cute!  So today I sported my on sale shoes with a pair of maternity pants I got at a motherhood outlet for on clearance for $3, which also are super comfy.    I am so comfy which is not normal for me lately, I almost dont want to change into jammies!!   I’m sure I’ll wear out these comfy shoes and pants a ton in the next 10 weeks!

I’m worn out and so is Dean, the kids are in bed, and we’re both sitting on different sofas w/ our own laptops.   I know I need some major downtime.  I feel fevered and my throat hurts but am hoping it’s just all that hard work I put in today, I cleaned the house majorly, have done several loads of laundry, completely reorganized and reaarranged Caleb/Bos room, and made dinner!!!   It’s no wonder I am feeling crappy now that I’ve finally sat down for more than 10 minutes!!!   so off to veg in bed w/ my honey and watch some tv.    Hope everyone had a great weekend!!

and the stress that goes with it!!  I hate this feeling that nothing will ever be ready for the baby, that theres just not enough room for 3 kids , but know full well there is.  I really just need to start throwing toys away but I keep thinking that one day Bo will play w/ them and then baby # 3 too.   i’ve thrown out a lot lately but it still doesnt seem like enough!  Dean’s worked 20 some hours since gettitng home from his regular job on Friday afternoon.   I went to my brothers on the shore for most of Saturday, getting home in time to let the boys see Dean briefly before putting them to bed.   As usual I cant sleep well with Dean gone at night, right before he got home mid morning Bo woke me up, shortly after I finally got comfy and asleep.

I let Dean sleep until it was time to get ready for church, I had to go take care of nursery staff issues or else we would have all stayed home.   While letting Dean sleep I started working more in Calebs room to make room for the crib and then once Bo is a little bigger the toddler bed.    A friend gave us some more cool dino stuff for the room and I went out today to get some new letters that match Calebs to add Bo’s name to the wall above where his bed will go as well as a few more wood dinos to paint to add to that now empty wall.    At least the baby room doesnt need any work, we’ll eventually get letters for baby boy # 3’s wall as well but we have to pick a name first!!!    I’m determined to get the crib for Bo into Calebs room but we’ve barely been home all day and theres a meeting at church at 5 so I doubt we’ll get anything else done.  I’ve gotten a lot done and if I can get Dean to bring the crib parts up I’ll try to assemble it tomorrow I guess.  I’m afraid once my weekly ultrasounds and stress tests start that something will go wrong and I’ll end up in the hospital sooner than we expect.  It only happened a few times w/ Bo, tests didnt go well and they’d send me to labor and delivery.   Those twice weekly tests will start soon since I’m on insulin now, so the chance of being sent to L&D anytime for any reason is always a possibility and this time I want to be as prepared as I can be in case something comes up.    But that means a lot needs done still and with my lack of energy and ability to do much w/out being in pain or having contractions it leaves little room for getting much done.   I’m only sitting here writing now because I’m so physically drained I needed to take a short break from my nesting madness.   Dean’s tired from working all weekend and I’m driving him nuts and he me!!!   Gotta love this stage of pregnancy!

Boaz 14 months old, January 26, 2006

I dont have much to say today, but am bored.   I have lots to do today but I cant get myself going, although I was up and out to take Dean to work.  Bo woke up early so we were all up so in an attempt to get Dean to work on time for once since his carpool ride always gets him there late, we all got up and out this morning.    My back is hurting badly and I’m tired.  My sugar levels are off this morning again eventhough I raised my insulin dose some.  I need to email my dr my levels to see what he thinks.  He told me to only raise the insulin every 3 days so since I raised it once already I dont know if he’ll want me to wait or not to do it again.

I have  a big to do list today but I just dont want to do anything.  I think I need a break, I wish we could take a family vacation or something things just seem blah.     Dean’s working his second job this weekend so he wont be around much at all til after Sunday morning.  I’m already dreading the weekend because of that.   we need the money though so it’s a needed sacrifice.   I still am in shock than in 10 weeks we’ll have another baby.   It’s getting scary the more I think about it.  We have an extra crib and a toddler bed but I dont know when we should start arranging furniture or how to even since the baby will be in our room for awhile.  My biggest fear if we dont move Bo out of his room before the baby comes then it will be harder on him when his room goes to the baby.   Dean of course thinks all of that can wait but I’m so scared waiting to transition him out of his room will make life harder on us since we’ll have to deal with that on top of new baby stuff.    At least Bo is sleeping through the night now so him sleeping in Calebs room shouldnt affect Caleb’s sleep, now gettting them both to sleep might be hard.    So much fun stuff to look forward to.  Well I need to get my lazy self going, I was doing good but it seems once I sit down then it’s all downhill as far as productivity and motivation.    Hope everyone is having a good week!