Breaking through the Fibrofog…

I am sick, again!!  I finally went to the dr today, after trying to act like i was fine, although I’ve barely had a voice for days and have felt miserable.  I didnt want to accept that after 10 days of antibiotics and two days of feeling ok I got slammed with the same thing or something very similar again.   But the dr gave me a stronger antibiotic and said it should take care of it.  I took  Dean to work late after my appt, after going to Walmart with the three boys to get things we needed, I decided to put off the trip to Sams although it was next door because I just couldnt do it.  I was falling asleep driving and felt horrible.  I picked up my prescription the way home, tried to get the kids some lunch and called Dean and begged him to find a way home to save me from my misery. His boss brought him home, I was amazed in fact that instead of saying he calls out too often or something similar he gave him a ride.   Dean said he’s very accepting if it’s a family thing.   Dean took the boys outside for the afternoon, Caleb even went swimming next door for a while while I slept.  I woke feeling not as tired but still as crappy.  We all went to Sams to get what I hadnt earlier, that was an adventure, but really the kids do great when we are out, it’s just trying to get the same things everyone else was getting on a holiday weekend was nuts.   Dean’s downstairs playing a game with his friend and I’m getting ready to crash again after doing the chores I put off earlier.

I hope this antibiotic kicks in soon or I wont be a very good travelling buddy for Dean on Sunday.  We’re driving towards Ohio, to meet my MIL about halfway so she can take Caleb to stay with them for a week.   Next Saturday we’ll go back there ( Dean’s decided Washington PA is about halfway)and spend the night at a hotel and  make a weekend of it and come home on Sunday.    I was excited that it’s so close to Pittsburgh, we might head there if we can find touristy things to do.

Caleb’s school has a summer program that starts that following Monday, the 1oth.  he’ll go for four weeks, four hours a day.   A friend of his who we’ve been going to let him play with on our street is going to so that will be good for him.  I wish the family didnt live so far up the street from us, it would be nice to just be a house or two away but it’s a whole block away almost.    But still, it’s  a friend Caleb’s age.  The boy was in Caleb’s preschool class, and the other day he, his elder brother, and father went to the park with us.   I asked what the age difference was in the boys, since they looked so close in age, they were just 11 months apart!   I was amazed!   So, Caleb plays well with both of them, but the one is a year ahead in school, if he had been born a year later though they all would have been in the same grade due to the new end of Aug. birthday rule.  since the one child was born in Sept. and the other August, so if the dates hadnt changed the brothers would have been in the same grade, that would be strange!    But I’m off topic, point is, so Caleb likes hanging out with those boys and they live on our street so it’s good.  It was funny, we all went to the park with them the other day and while talking to the dad he said he knew Dean, that he used to ride bikes and play together.  the guy has lived on our street for 3o years, albiet in his own home now.  he lives a few houses down from his parents.   He remembers Dean and I knew his parents did but Dean didnt remember them having lived there when he did, he still doesnt.  I thought that was funny.  So this guy, who Dean played with as kid, is hanging out with us as their boys play together, I thought it was pretty cool.  Kind of made me wonder if we should stick around, but I dont think I want my kid to live in the same place for 30 years, I want them to travel at least some!   but it would be cool to be able to say in 30 years, hey remember so and so, I used to play with them and you grew up playing with his kids and one day maybe your kids will do the same.  It’s interesting to think about, but I dont think it made Dean reconsider moving too much!

I’m heading to bed, busy weekend ahead, I’m dreading it just because of how crappy I feel.   but my house is clean, a house I am proud to say appraised for a good , ok great amt.   we’re excited about it and even more anxious to talk to a realtor in hopes that we might get close to the amt it appraised for but give or take a few thousands would be fine with us too.   It’s just the whole whether to put the hosue on the market and worry about the job working out, or waiting for the job and then hoping the house sells by the time we need it to.   that’s my fear, that it wont sell.   So we’re going to do some home repairs with some of the money from the refinance in hopes of helping the house value a little, not to increase the value, to make  it a little nicer for selling.   but right now i need sleep…lots and lots of sleep….or at least  a nice comfy bed and a cool drink for my sore throat.   I think I’ll catch up on whatevers been filling up our Tivo.

An appraisor came this morning as part of refinancing our house.   we are anxious to find out what the value of the house will be.   Houses similar to ours, some smaller even, are going for $250,000.  4 years ago our home appraised for less than half of that and we’ve done work on it since then!!  The loan officer said based on home sales in our area alone, it should go for $200,000, so we’d get a good deal of profit if we sell based on what we financed(our mortgage amt).   We should find out tomorrow or Friday at latest what they appraised it for.   Keep your fingers crossed or pray that things go well, the higher amt is always better of course, even if we dont sell it helps to have a higher appraised value than what we are financing.    loan to value or something like that, so we’re hoping for the best!

I’ve had a busy week but not much else going on the rest of the week, or so I hope!!  there was talk of plans of Caleb going to Ohio w/ my inlaws for a few days but plans fell through this morning, we’re all kind of bummed about it.   We dont know if we’ll be able to get there this summer or not, having some extra cash this month might help but our schedules are the issue.  Ours and the kids.   we’ll see.  If anything we’re spending a weekend in Pa and Sesame Place.  well I have to go, first rain free day and I cant convince Caleb to play outside.   ugh…

I spent Friday night cooking and cleaning til 12:30 a.m.(after the kids went to bed) in preparation for hosting a baby shower for my friend  on Saturday afternoon. I made this baby face cake and cupcakes then too, they dont know if they are having a boy or a girl , thus the pink and blue on the cupcakes. Not sure if  you can see in the one pic but I also made baby lollipop favors, they are in the wipe container next to the cake.

Saturday morning we were busy but I cant recall really why other than trying to get things done. The shower was a little dissappointing, I invited over 40 people, and excluding my family and the expectant couple only 4 people came(2 were a couple so 2 individuals and one other couple).
On Sunday we were supposed to have our church picnic but due to the rain the night before they decided to host it at the church at not at the home w/ the big pool where it was supposed to be held since the ground was too wet for parking there. So we had an indoor picnic. it was interesting, the kids had fun so that was good. We all came home and napped then woke up for a late dinner, you can see how tired I was! Dean and I spent some time after the kids were in bed trying to go through some stuff in our storage room in the basement in hopes that if we do move eventually that we dont have to decide what to keep and get rid of then, but instead that things will be organized already.

Caleb had an early appt w/ the dr about his exczema, after which we came home got some lunch and I put Bo down later than I wanted for a nap. Shortly after that my brother and his family arrived and we went to Port Discovery. Sadly Dean had to work, I wish he could have gone w/ us. We fought traffic got home, had dinner, then left Zeke and Boaz w/ our friend Elisabeth, the best sitter ever!! the rest of us went to an Orioles game. Caleb had a lot of fun, I think he had more fun because he had his cousin w/ him. They were so cute together, holding hands and hanging out. I had fun having time out w/ my hubby and just one kid, one kid who wasnt hanging on me or needing a bottle or diaper change. Several times though I got scared and wondered where we left the other two kids! but I got over it! Tomorrow Caleb has a friend coming over til lunch time when the loan officer is meeting w/ Dean and I about the refinance. Then Dean will go back to work and I will hopefully get some work done, we’re having company this weekend. It’s been a fairly busy week, caleb has decided he doesnt want to go back to school, he’s enjoying being home too much, makes me kind of glad he’s having fun being home w/ us all day!

click under more for more pics of our day… (There is more where this came from … )

We had a busy, soaking up the sun fun filled weekend! Dean had to work Saturday morning, so the boys and I hung out and made a trip to Walmart. When we got back Dean was home so we headed to the eastern shore for my nephew’s birthday party where Caleb stayed in the pool unless he had to pee or eat! We got home around 9:30 pm. For fathers day we had no plans other than church and someone was to come about a craiglist item in the afternoon. That morning I got an email saying he couldnt make it, so I convinced Dean to use our Sesame Place season passes so we spent the day there, and got in around 11:30 last night! we are all exhausted today , but it was a fun weekend. the boys had some great father son moments so maybe we’ll make it a fathers day tradition! today I’m trying to catch up on laundry but I’m tired as are the boys. they are both having “quiet time” now, which means Bo is asleep and I think Caleb might be soon since we had a busy weekend. See pics from our weekend under the more link below…

(There is more where this came from … )

I hate dealing with money, esp. when we have none!!!   our options currently are sell the house…but we coudlnt afford to buy another in this area, so if we sell we are seriously considering moving back to Ohio, ironically as I sat reading the letter about the new mortgage payment, Dean was getting ready to find out that his company is opening a new office in cincinnati, minutes from where he used to work when we lived there.   jobs there start the end of October but he’s not sure they’d have  job for him there yet.  If we stay, we’d have to refinance and pray we get a better rate.  if not serious pinching and scraping to pay the mortgage.  When we moved here, Dean had heard rumor of a job opening in DC through his company, he got a phone call about getting the job while i was in labor w/ Caleb.   we moved when Caleb was just a month old.   Here we are, almost 5 years later, contemplating what’s next for us.  we beleive God allowed us to move here for a reason, but the timing of all of this and needing to make these big decisions to me is something we cant ignore, we seriously need to find out what we want and what God wants from us at this season in our life.   for months I’ve been saying we need to think about selling the house and need be living off the profits while living in an apt so we arent tied down to a mortgage, so we could consider the possibility of moving to do some sort of ministry.   so for months I’ve been thinking of what would need to happen to sell the house, here we are faced with the decisions, it’s sell or refinance, or refi now and sell shortly after.   I dont believe I’ve been thinking about this for long and now it’s staring at us and we have to choose what is best for us and the kids, and it’s all about the money.   freaking money….it’s not whether we like the house and dont think it’s worth paying the extra money each month, it’s that theres not the extra money each month to pay all the new expenses.    thanks for letting me think out loud per se….any advice, ideas???  anyone got a million dollars to give us?  to all my local friends, we’d be more than happy to stay, feel free to bribe us with money to get us to! 

I am losing my mind!!!!  thankfully the BGE thing is somewhat better, for 11 months at least.   but today we got a notice that our ARM(adjustable rate mortgage) is going to screw us…so we refinanced from an FHA to a conventional ARM in June 2002, or rather DEAN refinanced HIS mortgage,(yes I’m still bitter that both times Dean was convinced it was easier not to put his wife on the mortgage) that was a mess, the refinance went horribly!!   so….the first 2 years the rate was fixed, but…as the paper so clearly reminded us, the rate will change starting now and then every freaking 6 months!! so our mortgage goes up by an additional $220 starting August!!   so new BGE payments, new mortgage, our property taxes go  up in July, we havent seen that new bill yet, I dont want to!!!    so the rate on the letter today is not even factoring in the new property taxes since that will effect our escrow, guess it’s good our homeowners insurance went down some due to not filing a claim since we’ve had it.   I need a job I suppose.  We are going to see if we can refinance again and get a fixed rate at least lower than the new rate, which get this is 10.37 %, that’s the freaking rate on the mortgage starting July 1st.   that’s a ton!!!   Since getting this house in 2002, our mortgage payment has gone up and up…..I cant stand it!!   I can see why people go into debt or live in poverty….seriously…this is going to take a huge toll on us…raised gas prices, raised BGE prices, raised mortgage, raised property taxes, what’s next raised taxes on the food we eat??what’s left??   more diapers…more wipes.. this was the worst time for all of this to happen to us….I’d go to work but then I’d have to pay a sitter to watch 3 kids….looks like I”ll be getting a part time weekend/evening job or Dean will work his more often.   BAHHHHH!!!  I needed MORE stres in my life right now…..