sorry folks…but to me Facebook is a not as cheap looking version of myspace. i just dont get it really I guess. Maybe if I had hours to spend online I’d find an interest in it!! I’m lucky to be able to check my email these day!
I wonder how this will affect the relationships of all those involved…..wont go into details but I kind of wish someone had taped a similar bathroom fight…I’d love to be able to see what exactly happened and why. then again….most days I just wish I’d done something differently…not sure what…but SOMETHING!
Did a little better on this train cake this week than last week! still not my best work, but I di
d it w/ 4 kids in the house so not too shabby! Celebrating Bo’s birthday at preschool today.
I’ve been blown away this last week at the thought that it’s been 3 years since I was pregnant w/ Bo, and at the same time thinking I cant believe it’s almost been a year since our move here. Time has flown by, 3 years…one year….I dont know where it’s all going but I know this….it’s amazing how much can change so fast. So many things going on in my life I could have pictured. So many feelings, and so many things going through my mind. wanting to be in two places at once, yet actually enjoying being where I am. Actually realizing all those thoughts we had well over a year ago that the move here would be good for us, well that that was true. for some reason I tend to mature and grow more when I’m away from my immediate family, something to do w/ growing up in general I suppose. it all started when I first moved to Ohio to follow the man I was in so in love w/. the man that I will follow wherever he wants me to go…mostly! :-) I do miss “home” - baltimore. but this is so much more of a home than I’ve ever had it’s unbelievable, even as we live it out every day. friends so close, in many different ways. family close, not my own, but sometimes I’m grateful for that….knowing I can be a part of another family and feel so loved and cared for when my family is far away. knowing that my husband got his sincerity and caring from a great family, things I hope to pass down to our children as well. a church that I have always and will always call home, no matter how far away we are.
I talked to my mom earlier today and when she said her dr wanted to see her to give her her MRI results I knew it couldnt be good if they wouldnt tell her over the phone, I had already started planning in my mind how I’d get there and how I’d leave the kids here and go be w/ her thinking she might need help if she needed surgery or something. I knew that my friend here wouldnt mind, and if I told her I wanted to go “home” that she may even offer to keep a kid or two while I go. because that’s how easy things are w/ us. - something I dont know if I’ve ever had that…my other friendships always had some kind of barrier, although Susan and I were pretty close(she’ll always be my best friend! heck who else drives 500 miles to see a friend! ), but she worked so I would have never thought that leaving my kids w/ her for more than a day would work out. I knew that my in laws or maybe even SIL would help out if asked and if they could make it work even if it meant sacrificing something else. theres not many family members back “home” I could say that of. in fact I dont think I could name any. I knew no matter what, when the day comes for me to have to rush “home” I’ll be able to because of all the folks here that are so invested in the lives of our family.
So while I will always miss my family and friends back in MD, I have to move on. I have to live this life every day, and sometimes that means not having time to work so hard on keeping in touch, heck…I’d love time for an adult conversation w/ no interruptions by kids or done between washing clothes, floors, dishes or someone elses bodily fluids(be they dog, child or other!) so phone calls generally dont happen for me and others. Letters…well this is my down time, and it’s between the sound of the oven timer telling me the next batch of cookies is done. we have preschool obligations, cub scouts, moms group,church, small group, friends, family and tons of other things like taking care of each other, making meals for us and often times others, cleaning house, doing laundry, taking out the dog, and most of these things are done while at least one but mostly 2 or 3 kids need tended to. did I mention exercising in there? add in 2 hours a day, one hour for me to go to curves and another for my friend to go and heck the days are shot. geez, I’m tired just thinking about what I did today!!
So the point is, I’m a busy woman.I never would have imagined a year ago, two years, even 3 years ago, that I’d be so gosh darned BUSY. on my down days, the days w/ nothing “scheduled”, I end up still being so busy that before I realize it it’s time to get the kids in bed. days like today. I was up and out before 9 a.m. done exercising before 10 and home feeding the kids lunch, baking a cake, decorating a cake, and loads of other stuff, and before I knew it it was bedtime and I still had an unfinished to do list! thus the time to post a blog entry in between baking cookies for preschool tomorrow! so it’s a jumbled attempt at what…basically just a post to clear my own head. it’s worked somewhat…I think the warm cookies helped calm some nerves too…
it isnt often that a day goes by that I dont think about when the call will come, the one that demands I be in MD asap for one reason or another. And today as I fought those thoughts in my head, I knew this to be true…..MD will hold a lot for me, my beginnings(my childhood) my first few years as a mom to one, my first years as a mom of two, and while all of that and those people that were a part of that are very significant to me….the most important thing for me right now is just that…right now. I know from experience that life happens, it comes at you fast, as they say in commercials…and it’s so true. i could sit and dwell in the past, and believe me I’ve spent a good amount of time wasting away on the past and what I’ve learned is that the future is much brighter and that dwelling in the past only ruins the present. I’ve cried a lot over the move. I still find times when I cry over friends I lost when I was in high school, friends I long to reconnect w/. but I know that that is silly. No matter what it would be nothing short of a miracle if somehow, someday, those friends and I were close. I know that there are seasons of life and that God places certain people in those seasons. some of you were my springs, some my summers, and a lot of you were there for my harsh winters. but all in all….you are loved and not forgotten. like I said, there are still tears in my heart for a lot of people I still call very dear, and I’m sure you all know who you are. but theres a job for me to do now…it’s to take care of my family, to love others, and to follow God’s will for me and my family. I strive to do these things well every day, and sometimes that means I cant be everywhere my heart yearns for me to be, and on those days and in those moments is when my heart cries out to My Father to be there, to send someone to be there for you. I can only pray that He sends someone who can replace what we’ve taken w/ us when we moved, and that it will be someone who’s even more loving and caring than that!!!(wouldnt take much I know!)
So today between tearfilled prayers for so many, I held a friend’s baby and as I rocked him to sleep I wished I’d never have to let go. of this little boy and his trust of me, and that I wouldnt have to let go of the friendship I’ve found here. and while I’ll not soon get over the loss of those we left behind, like I said, I still have a broken heart over many from over 10 years ago, so heck, it’s only been a year so cut me some slack!!! 
I dont want anyone to take this personally. I just wanted to clear my head and heart, there are many that still find their way to my blog, and there’s no way for me to know it if you dont comment, but I know that there are a few that lurk and wonder if I am speaking to them…in my heart I know just as you do that you will never be forgotten and will always hold a place in my heart. there are nights I dream of old friends, mornings when I awaken to the sad realization that they are gone from my life. but I know that they will never leave my heart. I just needed to share that here in case they happen to find there way here!
Christmas decor 2007
Christmas decor 2007,
originally uploaded by Amy McKenzie.
new pics on Flickr acct of new paint job and Christmas decorations
we got Bo a drum set at a KB toys that was closing for $15.00. Guess you get what you pay for ….it broke w/in the first 5 minutes. geez…..had the same experience when we got caleb drums at this age for Christmas. he was glad w/ his drum set.
Susan and her family left this afternoon. We had a good time…despite the night of throw up last night…it was lovely! :-) (you can see the new living room paint behind us! will put up pics of all the painting and decorating I’ve done tomorrow) 
