Breaking through the Fibrofog…

Forgot to mention my biggest accomplishment today, or as a result of my dieting. My favorite all time comfy jeans havent fit for a while, and today I put them on and they did!! And even my new capris are a little bigger at the waist!! And I know its not jsut cause I’ve worn them and they got stretched, they were straight from the dryer and they are always a tad tighter straight from being laundered so I knew it was a good sign, except as I said they are “new” capris so a waste of money if I cant wear them much longer but I’ll be happy to be able to buy smaller sizes soon. Hoping to lose some more lbs before I even try to look for a new bathing suit this year, but since we dont have money for a new suit I dont really need to worry with that yet.

Pre-Caleb rainy days were a good excuse to nap. Now that Caleb’s getting older and always on the go I hate rainy days. We walked to the park bright and early this morning so he could get outside before the storms came, but ended up walking home in the rain!! And it’s not just rain these days, they always come w/ full blown flooding, our basement included. We have no money now, not even grocery money let alone money to fix up a basement. I am all stressed out over money, the leaky basement, and going back to work, meanwhile a certain person who is frequently at our house now is complaining we have no food to eat. We went from feeding the 3 of us to 5 when our roomate moved in (and her beau did too but we didnt realize that was going to happen, or at least I didnt)and we cant even afford groceries for ourselves, I am so upset about the whole thing right now. I know some people have certain lifestyle standards, and for someone who is just as poor as we are right now to gripe and complain over the amount of food in someone elses cabinets or fridge drives me mad. Not to mention for that same person to bring over their dirty clothes to do laundry here when they are paying rent to be living somewhere else. I dont mind our roomate, and I dont mind helping out those who need it, but I hate people who take what they can get and complain when its not good enough. I know this may upset some readers who know who I am talking about but this is my space and I need to vent before I lose it.

I dont understand how siblings can grow up w/ the same parents teaching them the same values and grow up to be completely opposites. I mean I know it happens but sometimes I cant seem to get how when you look at someones parents and see how they are or hear what they believe you would think oh what good parents the are and expect their kids to be the same. Yet it’s not that way. I know children rebel but how old do you have to be before you finally “get it” and grow up and stop being so selfish and dependent??? Any thoughts?? I mean I know some people seem like they never grow up but that’s usually because they are fun and live life to the fullest, but some people also that never “grow up” are so stuck on themselves and do whatever it takes to take what they can get from others w/ the least amount of work on their part or the least amount of respect for others. Argh!!!

I am full of gripes today, prolly an effect of the miserable weather getting me down. If anything I will count my blessings today and be thankful for a beautiful son, a wonderful husband, a roof over my head (until the mortgage company beats down the door for this months payment), and some carb free food to eat, and of course those 15 lbs I’ve lost in the last 2 1/2 weeks!! I am sure theres lots more to be thankful for, and I am, but not gonna bore you w/ it. Hoping to get out of this house this weekend, but the rains looks to be staying til at least Sunday morning! Great….just great….

For anyone out there doing atkins diet or thinking about it: cheese is your #1 friend, as are eggs a close #2! We’ve been eating eggs and either sausage or bacon for breakfast every day, and it’s amazing how I dont really get hungry all day long on this diet. For lunch I mostly eat salad and some sort of meat. For dinner the same. The hardest part is snacking!! We’ve come to love sugar free jello and yep you can even enjoy some cool whip on it!!! Who would have though cool whip was low carb!! Other than that we’ve yet to find a snack thats good and on the diet. Dean loves pork rhinds, but I think they are disgusting. Looks like the scales showing me at a few more lbs lower now. I am so excited. It’ll be frustrating to get to a good weight and then get preggo but maybe it will help me lose more weight after I have the next one. But I’d be happier to be pregnant and fat then not pregnant!!

Trying to decide if we shoudl finally take Caleb’s crib down. Not sure if I ever wrote the entry about finding a toddler bed at a yard sale for $2 or not, I meant to and took pics of it and all but I dont think I actually got to writing about it. So from the day we got it he’s slept on his toddler bed which is red and goes great in his newly decorated bedroom. We’ve left the crib up as a just in case if he decided he wouldnt sleep there or if we couldnt get him to stay in the bed when it was nap or night time. But now we can lay him in there awake and he will actually go to sleep. It’s the greatest. It’s been about 3 weeks at least and he loves the new bed. Biggest problem I think is where to store the crib now that we’ve got a new room mate downstairs. I was hoping to be preggo by now so I could just leave it up but we’re not so it’s gonna be at least 9 months until we need it again. I think I might try to dissassemble it today since it’s a rainy day and we cant go outside. I love rainy days so I can get housework done but I’ve done all of my cleaning already so now I have to come up with new things to get done!!! If it wasnt rainy almost every day here I probably would have tons to do but since we’ve been stuck in the house w/ a sick kid I’ve gotten lots done. Hope it’s sunny somewhere!!!

For those of you out there that do, please pray for us this week and in the upcoming week as we seek to find me a job or for Dean to get a good job. We’re at the point right now that if we dont get more income soon we are going to not be able to pay the bills. We’ve never been at this point before and considering I’ve been able to stay home for 6 months with no income is pretty good considering all the new bills we had w/ the car accident and health insurance. But now it’s time for a miracle so please keep us in your prayers!!

Long time gone…..well not really a few days maybe. it’s been a busy week, sick baby, sick hubby, sick mommy, job interviews, driving people to and fro work, sleeping, cleaning, laundry, cooking, all the good stuff stay at home moms get to do. Applied to joann’s craft store so I can work evenings and weekends. Should hear from them after she shows my info to the district manager but she made me feel like it was just a technicality. So now we wait. Dean got a call from his uncle who said his company has an opening, he’s going to get more info on it tomorrow, hoping and praying that this is the long awaited answer to our prayers that Dean gets a good job w/ great benefits. If this doesnt work out I will have to work and even if it does work out I will probably still have to work a few months to get us back out of living on no money after paying our bills. I dont mind as long as I only have to work part time, since we cant afford to pay a sitter and me work, it’ll be much easier if I can work evenings and weekends. wont get much time w/ the hubby but most of our time now is spent w/ me doing my thing and him sitting on the puter helping someone out w/ something.

I’m finally noticing that I losing weight on this Atkins diet, unfortunately for me I always lose weight in the wrong places, lets just say my shirts are a little loser now but not around my waist so much!! I hate that. I want to lose in my belly and thighs not my breasts. I’ve always lost weight that way, losing there first. It sucks. But it’s weight loss none the less and makes me feel better about not getting to enjoy pasta anymore. So far I’ve lost 10 lbs which is great cause I do have a hard time losing weight dieting usually, and it’s only been 2 1/2 weeks! If the rain ever stops around here I might be able to get some more walking into my days which will help me lose even more weight. the diets not too bad except I get cravings like crazy. Dean said he doesnt really but me I love my food. I’ve gotten used to salads again, I used to hate salads. but when I had gestational diabetes they were my saving grace. So now I try to eat a salad before anything else in my meal to fill me up. So lately for lunch I’m just eating salad and chicken or salad and some other meat, mostly chicken though, or egg salad!! Mmmm! i love egg salad.

my little boy is growing up way too quickly. He’s talking in 3-4 word sentences which makes knowing what he wants a lot easier. but since he’s been sick he’s been very whiny, and he has discovered he can stand on a dining room chair and reach to move the latch off the fridge door, to climb onto the kitchen counter to get himself some snackage, to climb to reach the microwave, or light switch, or phone, or whatever it is he feels like getting in trouble over next!! he’s quite a smart little guy too smart for his own good, he always has to be into something or trying to figure things out. I know this is how kids learn but how do moms learn to put up w/ it and to teach them some things just arent safe or for him to discover yet??? He’s finally taken to using the big boy potty, at least for going pee, he still uses his diapers for making big stinky messes for me to clean up, but for now I’ll settle w/ at least getting him to pee on the pot. Everyone keeps telling me he’s too young but I know he’s not. he goes several times a day and this week is telling me potty before he goes so we can get to the bathroom before he gets a wet diaper. That is soooo nice!! Today i think he warned me before pooping but I was a bad mommy and didnt have time to let him go on the potty, which I regretted when I had to change him!! So he’s slowly becoming a big boy, and it scares me to death. lately if he doesnt want to get in the car w/ us or to go for a walk we’ll walk away and say bye bye and he just waves and goes on doing his thing. most kids would cry and run after their parents, not him. He’s too trusting. Today he wouldnt get in the car to leave so I got in started it and told him bye bye, expecting him to come and get in, didnt work, he waved bye bye to me. So I started moving the car out of the drive way and he still just said bye bye and went on playing on the deck. I couldnt believe it. Guess he is just too independent for us. It scares me though because he will start walking down our street away from the house by himself and will keep going w/ out a thought about being alone. He sure keeps me on my toes!!

For those of you out there that care, it’s another month of ttc and not getting pregnant. It’s good though since Caleb has fifths disease and all but it’s still hard to deal with the idea of not being able to have another baby. Thats all I have the energy to write for today…..have a good weekend everyone

Last night around midnight Caleb woke up as Dean and I were settling in for bed. He was burning up w/ a 101.8 fever and wheezing. After some tylenol, water, and a cool shower w/ daddy his temp was normal. He slept on a mattress in our room so we could keep an eye on him. This morning the fever was down to just under 100 but he was developing a nice red rash on his face and belly. I called the dr and got a 2pm appt. So I figured he should nap early. Since he’s been lethargic he didnt mind and slept well but awoke w/ another 101.2 fever. Went to the dr to find out he has fifths disease We are praying I am not preggo this month since I am pretty sure I gave it to him and had it last week when I was sick and went to the ER for my back and it can be harmful to fetuses in the first trimester. We’ll know in a day or two about being preggo and for the first time in a long time I am actually want to not be preggo.

So with Caleb sick we’re going to have to cancel our weekend plans which included a bbq at our house. I was looking forward to it too. But Caleb is more important. As I type he and Dean are asleep on the couch and have been that way for almost an hour!! I am enjoying my time to type and catch up on chores I havent gotten to since I’ve had a busy week. But also canceling the bbq takes a lot off my to do list!!

Hope everyone is having a good week!!!