Breaking through the Fibrofog…

Bo had an evaluation for speech therapy today.  They send us the report in the mail and then will call us after the insurance lets them know if and how much they will cover.  But she did say she is recommending that he goes 1 time a week for an hour and is referring us for occupational therapy as well for his sensory issues.   so we’ll need to get an evaluation for that soon too I suppose.   We know his hearing is fine and that he understands a lot, its his language and speech that are the problems.

I went to the dr this afternoon after having a horrible weekend.  Several times I considered going to the er because I was in so much pain.   I figured I’d wait til today and save money and go see the regular dr.  it too was a waste of money.  I wish we were in Baltimore with the doctors who know my history.  this dr doesnt want to treat any of it, she wants a rheumatologist to make the decisions.   I made an appt with one for a week from today, but it’s not the dr I want to see.  so when I got home the other drs office who I have been waiting to call to schedule an appt with finally called, get this…so my dr sent them a referral saying I need to be seen asap.   so the lady says she can get me an appt on Feb 28th.  I cant believe that’s the first asap appointment.  it’s so stupid.   I dont know if I should keep my appt for monday w/ the drs I dont really want to go to or wait it out for a few weeks to see the other one.   all I know is that i feel horrible and I dont know what I can do about it.  my dr today did give me another RX for pain, I’m already taking a ton.  this will be the 3rd time I’ve switched meds since being here.  I just want to feel better, soon.

Dean stayed home this morning to help w/ the speech evaluation appointment and I asked him to take the day off so I could go to the dr this afternoon.  After he gets caleb from school I’m hoping to get a nap.

Zeke is getting some teeth this week so he’s a little fussy.   Caleb has a runny nose and cough and is grouchy.   I am grouchy from feeling bad.  Dean is grouchy from putting up w/ all of us and having to do double duty w/ the kids and cleaning up since I’ve been trying to rest while he’s home this weekend and today.  so it’s fun around here lately!

it’s freezing outside too!  and it’s chilly in here too….well gonna go so I can find a blanket to cuddle up w/.

I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES. dont know why I was waiting until we got insurance to get medicine since the new insurance wont pay for the meds I’ve been on for months.   I have one pill left and if I cant get it worked out I’ll start going through withdraw in about a day after taking that med and I really need that medicine too so it’s not going to be fun to be me or be around me if the insurance wont pay for it.   I have to wait 2-3 weeks for the new rheumatologists office to call me and schedule me and appt, and who knows how soon after they call me I’ll actually get an appointment.   I am in pain.  only advice I was given was go to the ER if it’s that bad.  but not like they’ll do anything for me, since no one knows what’s wrong w/ me.   if I cant get this medicine I will probably admit myself in a day or two to make someone do something to help me feel better.   I’ve been in tears all day.   I need to pull it together though, Caleb has an appt this afternoon.  Dean’s co-workers wife is coming to watch the munchkins while I take Caleb to the dr.  I’m supposed to be going to dinner w/ the moms group from church tonight but I feel so crappy.   well I need to go call my primary dr to see what if anything they can do for me.   the pain meds she gave me last week arent helping, if anything the only thing they are doing is keeping me up at night.  so i cant sleep well on top of already being worn out….I’m so done with being sick!!!  oh well…like I said…gotta pull it together…gotta busy afternoon ahead…

I want to really write a good entry…but I am sooo tired!!!  today Zeke is 10 months old… I took him for his 9 month check up today.   dont have his “Stats” in front of me, i think he’s gained just about 2 lbs since his last appt, 4 months ago.  but he’s still in the 20th percentile for weight so she wasnt too concerned.  he’s in the 75th precentile for height, 29 1/2 inches I believe.   I think he weighed 18 lbs 11 oz. yeah, that’s right.   so a tiny guy weightwise but pretty tall !  he did great getting his shot and a blood draw today.   no major concerns w/ him, thankfully.

after Zeke was finished being seen the dr asked if I had any questions about the other boys, so I had her check Bo’s ears.  he’s back to throwing up a lot again.  he might just have the stomach bug I had last week though, hoping that’s all.   but I also asked her about his speech and how to get a referral for a speech evaluation.  so she tried to get him to talk, and of course the only thing he did say was jibberish.   so she agreed it wouldnt hurt to get him checked so he has an appt for an evaluation next Monday morning.   he talks every now and then, says some things clearly but most of the he doesnt.   he will pull you by the hand to take you to do or see what he wants and that gets to be annoying, especially w/ two other kids to care for.   it amazes me this child who doesnt speak well knows how to go to the bathroom by himself and says pee when he has to go to let me know.  crazy actually.

well I am worn out.   Caleb goes to get his hearing rechecked this Thursday.  tomorrow I get to spend the day catching up on laundry, our dryer which has been on the fritz for months in Baltimore finally died.   we didnt want to leave a crappy dryer there and we didnt want to have to buy one right away when we moved so we’ve been using it and it finally started destroying the clothes too badly to be worn again and started making really bad noises.   so…yesterday we went and bought a new one, one that has a sensor so it will stop drying when it senses that the clothes are dry..to save energy!  I’m all for that..and i think it is a little bigger inside than our old one.   i really wanted this 1000 dollar one but I settled for a cheaper one than that…one day though..I mean I do so much stinking laundry…

so last week new furniture, this week new dryer..in a few weeks when we sell the house we start looking at a new van….things are definitely looking up financially….now if on the health front we were all good then things would be great!!

well I didnt want to write much but I’m waiting on Dean to get home from getting some groceries for the rest of my beef stew recipe so I can get the slow cooker ready this evening for tomorrow’s meal.

hope all are doing well….

wow!  there was a deer in our front yard just now.  dean and caleb got pretty close to it, had Bo been quieter I am guessing they could have gotten even closer.  got some pics I’ll try to post of it later.  was pretty cool!  bo was scared of it, Caleb was so excited.   he wants to make the yard a “habitat” for deer and other animals.  I’m just not used to having wildlife in such close proximity to our home, at least it’s not harmful animals!!  so far…

what fun!!

Dean & I today

click on more for more pics…. (There is more where this came from … )

it’s been snowing all morning.   we loved our house already, but our snow covered yard and community is beautiful….at least since it’s sunday and we can just stay home and enjoy it!!   we have a few inches already.  the kids are excited, hoping to get some pics taken later.

dean and I had our date last night for my birthday.  it was great.  the show we saw was interesting as always is for the theater we went to.  I have loved our recent chances to just be a couple and not just mom and dad.  I was in serious need of a mommy break, and have gotten a few this week.

I am still feeling lowsy.  the new meds arent helping.  in fact through the night last night I felt particularly out of it, it was kind of scary.  well I need to find snow gear for the kiddos to wear.   more later….

we had a late night last night.  Dean’s co-worker, wife, sister and their baby came over to play games.   Their baby is just a week or so older than Zeke.  Zeke had only had a half hour nap so we put him to bed right before they arrived, so they didnt get to play together.  but their baby stayed up and played while we played.  she was adorable!!  I love getting to enjoy little girls sometimes!  we played with our new WII for a bit, taking turns playing elebits and tennis.   then we played some “real” games.   they were here til about midnight!  it was fun!

Last week I was telling Dean I was hoping we’d move here and I’d be able to make friends and not have to mention my health.  that I’d be healthy and wouldnt have to worry about it, but as we were playing the pain got really bad again and I mentioned it to Dean and they heard me so I had to tell them about it.  I guess there’s no use hiding things, not the best way to start a new friendship huh?   but I would have loved to have that not be a part of my life.  I dont want people to feel sorry for me.

I felt bad but I really needed a social night, and having two ladies around helped!  last time I met his co-workers wife I told Dean how much I’d like to get to know her, we’d have a lot to talk about so it was pretty easy to talk to her again last night.   that makes things easier.   she’s a stay at home mom too so that’s cool.

today we are going to sign caleb up for soccer this spring, the options are volleyball, baseball or soccer.  Dean and I want him to play soccer but let him choose between baseball and soccer and the other day he told me he’d think about it.  this morning when I got up he told me he wanted to play soccer.

well I’m in the midst of a ton of things, the kids are keeping me busy, I’m tired and miserable but I’m letting Dean sleep in so he can be energized for later, plus I’ll take a nap when the kids do later and he doesnt take naps!  we’re going out to dinner and a show tonight at the theater we used to work with.  I’m really looking forward to it.  yesterday after my drs appt. I met w/ Dean for lunch then went to his office for a little bit to hang out.  it was so nice just to be me again, not mommy.  I need some more ME or ME and Dean time instead of always being on Mommy duty.   well I gotta run…bo’s getting into trouble.  what was I thinking, getting ME time to write while being on Mommy duty!?!?