Its been busy since the

Its been busy since the holidays, good and bad things have happened. I sought medical help for my anxiety, or somewhat, it seems to be helping. Things would be a lot better if I wasnt working and was at home with my son, but then we’d be poor. Today I almost quit my job. This Sunday my car broke down, the only one left that was working. So now we are carless. The babysitter fell down the stairs, I was already struggling with leaving him there so I was happy to stay home with Caleb on Monday, despite my co-workers anger. I forced myself to work today , mostly so we can afford to fix my car. Luckily my brother in law arrived from Ohio last night so today he babysat while I borrowed his car to take Dean and myself to work. The house is coming together nicely. We’ve spent a lot of time with my family lately which makes me feel great about being back in Baltimore. But other bad things going on include Caleb being sick. He was rejecting his bottle today and doesnt play as much. He’s also had a lot more messy diapers. I am hoping it is just teething as the flu going around sent another baby his age to the er to get an iv!! I would hate that. So sorry I havent posted but working is so draining , especially when you must get up to tend to baby at night (he usually sleeps all night, a good 8-10 hours, but since he’s been sick he’s not sleeping as well) and getting up early enough to get myself and baby ready and to drop Dean off at the train station to commute to D.C. By the time I get in the car to drive home at the end of the day I have to fight to stay awake. Which is harder when I have to go get baby, then go pick up Dean not to mention never leaving time for grocery shopping or dinner prep. So I’d much rather be at home and am considering starting my own daycare as I love kids and am good at watching them. Plus our house is big enough for it, and we now have tons of toys. So at least til we can afford to settle on the house and get the car fixed and maybe a new one, well til then I am holding on to my job. They love me at work and it is good for my self esteem, mostly, but worrying about baby all day has been draining the last few days. So forgive me for not posting,I’ll try harder in the next week. I hope I can keep up….