saw the dr this morning. She thinks I just have a stomach virus that is going around, I am not convinced but oh well, she gave me a prescription to help my stomach. I havent been able to eat in days without getting sick, not even toast or a banana.  I made the appointment yesterday because I was getting to the point of being in so much pain from being sick and my other symptoms that I couldnt take care of the kids.  My SIL took the kids last night, Bo and Zeke, they spent the night and we’re picking them up later today. I was hoping to get them sooner than later but I feel much worse in pain now than I have all week which is dumb because my dr in Baltimore called in a new pain medicine for me yesterday and I started it yesterday but today I feel worse?  So I am not doing well today. I havent been doing well for a week or two but now it’s much worse.  She said if I dont hear from the new rheumatologists office by mid next week about scheduling an appointment to call them back.  waiting on the whole referral and junk to see a new dr here is driving me nuts, esp. when I feel so bad. So my new regular dr gave me another pain prescription to hold me over, she said it’s not the best way to treat my condition but that she hopes it helps me feel better until we see what the new specialist says.  so it’s a short term plan, I hate that, but all I really care is that it works! I cant keep struggling to take care of the kids. I’ve been sleeping so much or at least laying in bed at every oppurunity the last two weeks because of how I’ve felt.  since the kids were gone I slept in this morning, which was nice but I feel so guilty, and ashamed that I cant take care of my kids.  pray the new meds make me feel better so I can get back to being supermom, or at least able to care for and enjoy my kids again!! at least its Friday….hopefully by the end of the weekend and the new meds I’ll be feeling much better!  praying that at least!
anyone want to move in to help with caring for the kids? if I dont feel better soon or the doctors cant help then I am seriously going to look into part time care for the little ones. I feel like they arent getting the best care because I cant do much with them. we just stayed cooped up inside all of the time.  oh well…the kids have check ups next week, hoping they are doing well health wise at least!!  I also feel guilty they got my genes…if I had known how sick I was going to end up being I dont know if I would have had kids….I dread what they could get because of all the sicknesses I have.
blah sorry for being so down…one of those weeks, days, months…whatever…things will get better…I know, they always do, but this struggle is getting old.
