Is this the man I married?

There’s this guy I fell in love with instantly when I was a tween.  He could make me laugh and he gave great hugs.  After high school I married this amazing man.  We spent our free time at the local community theater.  I got experience in stage managing, acting, and other fun theater stuff. He taught me all I know about theater.  I only saw him perform in one play and afterward he decided he’d prefer to work behind the scenes than to be on stage.  A few kids later we found we weren’t able to devote time to our shared love, theater.

Caleb started acting in a local theater group a few years ago. Dean would help out wherever he could. This year they announced they would be doing Shrek the musical. We had been listening to the soundtrack to the show for months before we even found this out and all of us knew the lyrics to all of the songs. I convinced Dean this one was worth auditioning for.  I was sad I had college and couldn’t audition myself. Dean, Bo and Caleb all got roles in the play.  It would be Bo’s first theatrical debut and Dean’s first in a long time.  I was instantly a proud wife and mother.

Performances started last week.  I’ve seen Dean do some improv in the last year and have seen some films he has been in as an “extra” but nothing would prepare me for this.  Many have told me that Dean “steals the show”.  Strangers have asked to take their picture with him.  He’s quite good at what he does, which is a little scary since he’s a cross-dressing big bad wolf.

Watching him act reminds me of the times he made me laugh when we first met.  I love seeing him get to be creative and be a part of something he loves.  I’m so glad he’s able to have fun and share his love of theater with our boys.

As I think about our story, I must admit that a few months ago our marriage suffered a major blow.  Something I didn’t see coming.  From that first day I met Dean I put him on a pedestal.  This year the pedestal was knocked out from under him.   What I saw as a great marriage was really a mirage, or so I thought.  I was hurt and felt betrayed.   I realized for so long I looked at my husband as if he was perfect, or nearly so.  I was grateful for the blessing he was in my life, then reality struck. No one is perfect.

It’s now months later and I have had the chance to cope with these new realities.  The most important thing I’ve learned is that despite his flaws, I still love him deeply and madly as if it were that day we first met.  He may not be perfect, but he’s perfect for me.  Despite the ups and downs we have faced, we know our love is worth fighting for.

As I sit and watch my husband perform on stage, I recall what first drew me to him. His ability to not care about what others think.  His sense of humor always made me smile.  His passion and joy were contagious.  No matter what was going on, he was always there for me.  I hope he knows that despite his failings, I will always be there for him.

Just like I never expected to see him wearing a dress on stage, I never expected to see my marriage suffer the way it has this year.  The best part of both experiences is knowing that no matter the circumstances, my love for my husband will never fade.  He’s still the man I married and I’m grateful he’s becoming an even more amazing husband and father the longer he fills those roles.

This is the “story of our life” and I’m grateful to be sharing it with the most amazing man I’ve ever met.

This song from Shrek reminds me of our story.