I want another baby, I know you must think I am nuts.  As if 3 busy boys and moving isnt enough.   This week we had what most folks would call a “scare”   I took a pregnancy test and it was negative.  Dean was relieved and I was actually upset about it.   The irony is for months we had no worries about being pregnant, Dean had a vas. and my reproductive system was going haywire so we knew I wasnt going to get or be pregnant.  So we knew that if I was pregnant it would be a miracle.  When discussing having more kids we agreed financially we shouldnt.  but a part of me is so sad.  I get a little jealous every time I walk by the maternity stores.   As I watch Zeke crawl all around the house and sitting up all by himself, I know that my days of having a baby around are numbered.   Dean thinks this is why it bothers me so much that we arent having another.  that as the boys grow up I’ll crave their baby stages.   it’s true I’m sure, but theres so much about another child I’d like, but I know it’s not healthy, for me or the child.

Bo is having some odd symptoms, I am really concerned that he may be diabetic or having thyroid problems.  we are going to wait until his 2 yr old well baby check unless things get worse, but I am so afraid that the kids will develop my bad health.   as we await this new diagnosis for my current ailments I am scared that my boys (as they get older)will spend time and money in and out of drs one day because I passed my genes on to them.

well I have to run….the house was quiet, Dinner was cooking, Dean, Bo and Caleb were outside and Zeke was asleep, but they all just came in and the timer for dinner is beeping at me.  so back to the craziness.