Religous babble
I’m normally not drawn into shows like dateline or 20/20 but was intrigued when I saw a commercial earlier today about tonight’s episode of dateline w/ Tom Brokaw. This past Wednesday we attended the Baltimore Emergent cohort meeting and watching this tonight has reminded me of some of the things we talked about then. i admit I’m ignorant about different religions and am confused when Brokaw terms the church he’s spotlighting as Evangelical. I immediately questioned Dean if this is a denomination or what exactly does that term stand for? this church being interviewed tonight looks good, reminds me alot of the vineyard but a lot more showy. but maybe that’s just my take on what i’m seeing, but maybe that’s what the media wants you to think.
I told Dean the only people, aside from the pastor were all very nice looking individuals, heck if I was single and lived in Colorado…i’d jump to join the 20 something group there. Did they focus on those people because the Pastor gave them names of people or did they choose “pretty” people to make religion look more appealing. Maybe I’m looking too much into their motives, but I dont get why during primetime shows they’d have a show targeting religion. For the most part I’ve not heard much negative come out of this show which is good for the sake of putting Christians in a good light for once, but still makes me wonder why they are spending the time on this issue tonight.
at the emergent meeting this week, and the last one we attended I always felt so stupid. Like I said I’m pretty ignorant of what’s going on in other religions and since we attend a non denominational church it’s not like we have a tie to one certain denomination. Our church was birthed from a baptist affiliation and at first I wondered if that would affect my liking the church, not having been baptist and in the past being turned off by baptist churches I’d been to. one of the biggest things I’ve liked about the emergent meetings is the cross denominal ties and being amazed that people are willing to give up their denominational ties to be at a church in which their needs are met more than sticking in the church in which they should best fit by theological standards.
Before age 6 I dont remember church and dont think we ever went. after my parents divorce, when I was 6, we tried different churches. I believe we went to some catholics ones, I mostly remember the episcopal church where I recieved my first communion but I also have bad memories of having to meet my dad there for family counseling. After that we went to the same church til I went to college, I wont speak much of it because theres too many negative things associated with it and I dont want to open that can of worms here. truth about that church is I will never go there again and would not recommend anyone go there, in fact my heart breaks for those who feel stuck there or are blinded to the truth of things there. After going to a christian college for semester and remembering why I hated christians in general dean and I stopped going to church for a while, years even. We eventually felt something missing after we were married a while and ended up at a vineyard, someplace we miss dearly still. When we moved back to Baltimore we thought we’d try the church dean grew up in, but that again turned us off and sought out another church. we visited a church or two more and after one visit fell in love w/ our current church. that’s where we are now. We love our community of Faith but still long for more. being a part of the emergent conversation and realizing that I need to spend more time investigating my faith and that of others makes me want to, again, revisit issues from my past and finally come to terms with why I am so afraid of finding the truth. I now know it’s ok to question my faith and most importantly that being in an environment where it’s ok to question things makes that a lot easier. I want to know what I believe and where that fits denominationally, or at least how it would best fit, not beacuse I want to go to a denominational church but because I feel so lost in what I truly believe. I dont want to feel dumb among those who know so much about their religion, all I know is that I believe in God and what Jesus did for my sins and that everyday I do my best to live out my faith authentically. I believe in a lot of other things but to me the big part has been that I’ve just tried to do my best, right now I know I need for myself, and for my kids, to figure it out more so that I can do a better job at being a christian and in how I teach that to my kids. I dont want my kids to be failed by leaders and I want them to be able to rely on Dean and I and know that they are free not only to question but that I dont expect them to follow in our footsteps that as long as they live their lives to be loving and kind and to be the best person they can be then that’s fine. but I also want them to know why I beleive what I believe even if they dont agree.
before having kids I always said I wont push my faith onto my children, I question today if that’s possible. If we go to church every week and are involved will my kids feel like they have a choice? I’m sure as they get older and can chose for themselves I can see myself allowing them the freedom to seek other religions. I’d rather let my child investigate and be available to them when they want to talk about it, but I dont want to force my kids to be christians. I dont want my kids to grow up in church and grow as a young adult to hate it like I did. I’m sure if it’s a good environment that shouldnt happen, but so many in our generation as young adults have been failed and I dont want my kids to relive that. how do we fix our churches so this doesnt keep happening, I dont know but I know I will do my best for my kids and my friends kids to make them want to be a part of this thing we call religion, or better yet, part of a community of faith in which they can grow and question and mature in that faith. i am afraid of what my kids will face as I remember my rough journey on this spiritual walk, I want to be prepared to be there for them and that means I need to reconcile my beliefs. I wish I knew where to start but I believe w/ God’s help I’ll figure it out!
