I am a horrible mother.

I am a horrible mother. Yesterday Caleb was very sick. Today he was doing better, but still not great. Then this afternoon he dropped a canned good on his foot causing it to swell and his toenail turned purple. I flipped out. I didnt know what to do. I know its a toe so if its broken they cant do much. But never in his little life has my son screamed his head off for an hour(at least an hour). I went to get Dean because after mothering and cleaning up a sick baby for the last two days I was at the end of all patience. Nothing I did could console Caleb. Now Dean is home and you’d think he’s a different kid. No crying. Not even having a problem walking on his foot. Earlier no such luck. He demanded to be held and screamed uncontrollably forever. He fell asleep in the car on the way to get Dean only after I sang a zillion songs to him. I am cant do this. I am coming down with the flu or whatever Caleb has and I am out of energy. I was out of patience a long time ago. I did my best and tried to be a good mom but as I said yesterday taking care of the sick is not my thing. I can do all sorts of things but mothering a ill crying baby, I just cant. I used to be able to, with other peoples kid. but now that its my baby I just feel so helpless and seem to lose any knowledge or skills I had on dealing with first aid issues or even how to calm a baby. I just want to crawl into bed and be left alone. I want my mommy!!! Yesterday I told my mom how much I appreciated everything she did for me when I was growing up when I was sick. She was a single mom w/ two kids. I am a miserable married mother of one. What is my problem! I think I just need a vacation from being a mom and wife or something, or at least a good nights sleep and to wake up feeling good for once. The chances of that are about as good as waking up tomorrow to a non flooded basement.