Help! I am having a

Help! I am having a tough week, emotionally and physically. Mostly headaches and dizziness, not to mention the occasional flashes of light in my eyes. My biggest problem of late is anxiety. I am not sure what is going on but the other night I awoke from sleep and was overcome w/ fear. I thought someone was in our room and was going to attack us. I tried to wake Dean, but he always just rolls over and mumbles. I closed my eyes tightly and waited and nothing happened. I eventually ventured out and found the house empty. Today I was once again overcome w/ fear when I heard noises in the basement. Not your usual house squeaks, or so I thought. I hurried and locked the basement door so no one could open it from downstairs and just in case put the baby gate in front of the locked door. Yes, I was panicking. I made sure the front door was locked and listened. I still could have sworn I heard someone, and no way was I going down there.

After putting Caleb down for a nap I went downstairs w/ Dean on the phone w/ me and found nothing. Nothing unusual. Nothing moved. Dean laughed at me. But I cant get this horrible fear to shake off. I need a shower still but that too scares me, leaving Caleb vunerable in his crib. Not sure whats going on in my head, but it’s not helping that I have a pounding headache and the room keeps spinning. Goodness, I sound just as crazy as I feel. Maybe a good shower and nap will ease my tensions. If anything take the edge off this headache. it’s been months since I’ve had headaches this bad, and in the last 3 days I’ve awoken with these killer headaches and they’ve lingered all day. maybe its the change in weather, or just the fact we dont have health insurance would be enough to spark a change in my health, I mean bad things never happen when you are prepared for them. I am due back to the dr this month for my eyes and psuedo tumor anyway, 3 month check up, I should have been already though since I’ve been feeling so bad, but that would mean footing a drs bill which we simply cant do. Too bad, just wait it out. Dean finds out if he is going to get hired on permanently at his job next week, with any luck, or really a huge miracle happening, he’ll get hired and we’ll get health insurance finally. Until then, trying to cope, and not doing so well with it…