I miss my baby! Right

I miss my baby! Right now Dean and Caleb are out so I can get some stuff done and so that Dean could go pick up a cd or something from a friend. I have been cleaning, working on Caleb’s night stand, and doing laundry since they left. I really need to study for a big test I am having at work tomorrow, but I just cant do it. It makes me mad that I have to work so hard just to pass this training. It’s not difficult per se, just a lot of memorization which I am bad at, even though some people in my class think the opposite of me. We took a test today and I know I barely passed it, if that. But I know that there must be others who did worse. On one test we took I got a 90 and the person next to me got a 65! So I know I am doing ok, but I still hate this studying stuff. I dont get paid to come home and work. I want to be able to come home and cuddle w/ my boys and chill out, but not now. And of course this week, the week when I have so much stuff to do for Caleb’s party is the week of all the huge tests at work. I want to quit so bad. When I get this feeling at work, I pull out Caleb’s pictures and smile knowing my working is providing for his security and health. Once Dean goes back to work, which looks to be this Thursday, I know it will be harder for me to work knowing Caleb will be w/ someone else all day. Today was his first full day of daycare and he did ok. I am somewhat concerned that everyday he comes home w/ more scratches and bruises, but Dean doesnt seem to think much of it and he is the one dropping off and picking up so he would be able to know if things seemed off. I just want to be home w/ my baby! He’s talking so much more and learning so much, I want to be the one he learns from and that he talks to! Well, Dean is home and I still havent studied, so I better run…..hopefully tomorrow wont be so bad at work, hopefully….