Caleb is a little over 5 weeks old and he is getting so big, not fat, just longer, I think. Considering how tall his daddy is it makes sense, but I thought for sure we’d have a fat baby seeing as neither one of us is skinny by any means. But since I have had the baby I have lost 30 lbs! I am wearing my old clothes, probably some are a good two years old and didnt fit me before I got pregnant. I feel so good about myself, losing weight does that to you I guess. Today I managed to get myself up and out for a walk with Caleb. It felt so good, had it not been so hot and muggy out I may have walked longer than I did – that and my incision started to ache some. I guess after days of not walking up or down stairs (my moms house is all one level) that I have come lazy and out of shape. So I am going to try to walk everyday.
Tomorrow I have a drs appt to further check into my blood pressure problem, it’s kind of scary, but I know it will be better to find the cause and treat it then not to.
It’s so good to be home, sometimes. The best part is having Stacey back in my life, I mean we kept in touch, but it was getting very distant, or so I thought. Today we had a good long talk, just like we used to. It felt great ! I think just being able to talk to someone other than in baby talk is nice! I am going to hate it when she gets a job and isnt around as often. Funny thing is as I sit here writing this I know she will probably read it and I always get worried about writing about people that I know will read what I write. But I guess at least she will know how much I am enjoying getting back into the swing of our friendship again! Another funny thing about us is that we rarely actually do anything but sit around and talk, and well of course , eat! But then again I barely get out much anyway with the baby so I am sure that is the reason. I was impressed with myself for getting out for a walk, and tomorrow I’ll be glad once I get to my drs appt and back without a hitch.
Despite our lack of time and energy, Dean and I seem to be doing well. By the time he gets home from work he is exhausted and by the time he gets home so am I. We have an understanding though, since I dont work I take care of the baby, and he does his best to take over from the time he gets home til he goes to bed, then I am back on duty all night. We’ve learned to take advantage of Caleb’s sleeping to spend “quality” time together. I must admit I think this whole situation is causing us to get closer together. We actually communicate about things and more importantly are discussing our future and the possibilities it holds for us as a couple and individually.
Last night we went to a small group meeting of couples/singles from the church Dean attended for most of his child/teen years. It was nice to be plugged in so quickly since we know people there and 4 of the couples are expecting so Caleb wont be out of place. I cried though to think of how much I miss our group from Ohio. Last night as we prayed for one of the couples who is coping with infertility it hit me the hardest. I remember discussing that with our group then being able to break the news that we were pregnant finally.
When we talked about moving back here that was our big concern, our church, but it seems that that is becoming what of the least of our concerns as we find ourselves getting plugged in so quickly. The biggest concern now is money and housing. More than that is the stress of Dean’s daily commute, I know it is hard on him and it makes my day even longer and lonelier since he seems to be never home and when he is is so tired. So we are getting anxious about moving closer to his work yet we know we cant afford to yet and with still an option out there to move into his aunts house when she moves we are trying to be patient. And if we dont move in there, I will end up having to get a job, since any other option will cost more money. So it’s tough right now coping but it’s also calming to know that we are surrounded by a new church family, and our loving friends and family. So another day here in Baltimore…..and things seem to going just fine. We really looked forward on this move as being very difficult yet each step seems to be falling in place so easily, almost too easily, and we know that is nothing but God’s grace and providence for us. Last night at group they talked about facing your fears and doing instead of tthinking, and thats what we did. We knew the move and all the changes would be hard, and yes I was very afraid, but every since we stepped out in faith things have moved along so smoothly. Except for last Tuesday, but that affected the world not just us so I wont count that. We can only hope the future will remain as changing and yet stable as it has been thus far….
