It’s been a long tiring weekend, despite the fact I haven’t done much but sleep. Friday afternoon at work I started having blurred vision, seeing spots, and being very dizzy. So one of the nurses checked my blood pressure, it was fine at 110/80, and my sugar was at an okay level, it was 119 and the dr likes it below 120 after meals. So I sat around waiting for my vision to come back but after 30 minutes I got frustrated and couldnt get any work done so we consulted with the one Dr. that was in the office that afternoon and she told me to call my ob. So I did. They had to page the dr and call me back so I waited and the final news was , go home, go to bed and we’ll see you on Monday. Not good because we are very busy at work and I knew it would be hard to get off on Monday but I worked it out. The annoying part is I just went to the dr Thursday and was doing pretty well but I guess I was doing too good for too long and we cant have that.
So all weekend long I have laid around for the most part, I am extremely tired all of the time and if I try to do too much, which isnt usually much at all, I get very lighheaded. Today I managed to force myself to do somethings. I washed all of Caleb’s outfits and some of his towels and cradle sheets. It’s a good thing I did too, it took me forever to de-tag everything and I know soon I wont even have the energy for that. I even cleaned out our closets and packed up what clothes Dean and I dont wear, in an effort to make room for Caleb’s stuff. It is so neat to see his little socks and clothes! I cant imagine what he will look like and it is strange to think his feet will be that little!
Dean did a lot of theater stuff this weekend, and I was alone for the most of the weekend so I had plenty of time to wallow in the misery of the way I was feeling. I admit I have been downright depressed for the last few days and quite moody. I know it is probably just hormones, but I hate feeling this way. I am about sick of trying to control my sugar especially when the medicine usually gives me the shakes and half the time I almost forget to take it or to check my sugar. I just hate having to think so hard about how I eat especially when I will be so good and eat right but still have a high sugar level. It makes me wonder why I even try to control it because it isnt seeming to help. So that has had me very depressed and I’ve felt very ill lately, not sick really, just crampy and lots of back pain. And I have no appetite, I will eat a bite or two then be filled which makes it harder to control my sugar because I have to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day which is so difficult when I dont even want to eat anything. I really should discuss that with the dr tomorrow, if I remember.
So it’s been a sad, lonely weekend, today was somewhat better though. I felt better getting some things done around the house, more nesting I suppose. And we went out this evening to meet with some people in a new theater group that want Dean to work with them, and the meeting went very well and was quite promising. They’d even take me on to help and aren’t against having Caleb sit by us in his carrier or play pen while we work , and they can pay us a little for each show we work on. So it was very promising and helped me feel a lot better about possibly losing my job soon or not being able to work because the amount they would pay would be better than no money at all. So, we’ve spent the latter part of the evening dreaming about this new venture and how we can do it with Caleb around.
I’ll write after my appt tomorrow night, I doubt I’ll find out much more than I found out Thursday, if I’m lucky they’ll put me on bedrest forever! Well Dean wouldnt be thrilled and I’d settle for having to just lessen my current work schedule but chances are I may not have a job soon anyway. I really do love my job but I just dont have much more strength in me to keep it up and feel somewhat healthy. When I got home Friday night my feet were about 3 times their normal size and I know it was because of working all day becuase since I’ve rested all weekend they have been fine. Well we’ll see what the dr says, probably nothing new but they wanted to see me so they must be concerned. I told them it was no big deal, it was more just annoying than anything, I mean my vision was really screwed up for a long time and I could barely see. It’s not like it hurt or anything but I couldnt function and it made me really dizzy. So I guess I should be concerned. I am more concerned about controlling this unconrollable sugar problem though…..but I dont know what if anything I can do about it that I havent already tried. Well good night folks, hopefully tonight will be more restful then the last few nights have been.
