Today is exactly two months til my due date! And tomorrow is our next ultrasound, so who knows, my due date may change. I am so excited about finding out how big Kiddo is and to see how he is doing. Dean is going with so that will be nice. Hopefully Kiddo will cooperate and we will know for sure if we will have a Brynn or a Caleb. I held an 8 lb baby today, she was 2 mos. old but was a premie so was about the size of a newborn. She was so tiny! I told the girls at work that I’m just not ready yet!
They told me I look really good for as far along as I am. Yet my mom said today that she thought I looked big for my dates but then again my mom has always thought I looked big (pregnant or not). I am satisfied with how big I am, mostly because I know it is all baby fat. I still have no facial swelling or swelling in my hands, my feet are swollen but I am sure that is directly related to my standing and walking most of the day.
Dean and I went to dinner tonight, it was nice. Especially becuase Dean had somewhere to be but spent some time with me anyway. It meant a lot to me. His play opens tomorrow and they had some problems yesterday with their lights due to the storms we were having so he really had to be there early tonight yet he stayed with me for dinner.
I went looking for fathers day cards this evening. I got somewhat depressed about my dad, and found nice cards for my brother and step dad and I didnt even realize it but I actually left the store without buying my real dad a card. I think it was a subconcious effort to keep myself from getting upset. That and I was really tired. But it wasnt til after I started driving home and I started thinking about mailing my cards off that I realized I hadnt gotten Dad a card. Despite his treatment of me I almost always still send him a card so he knows that no matter what he does that I still love him, yet I cant help but wonder if it would really matter to him if I sent a card or not. And after thinking about it I have decided to be the good Christian and good daughter and go get him a card, but I will wait to look until tomorrow after the ultrasound because by the time I got done shopping and driving home I was too tired.
After meeting Dean for dinner I had decided to go shopping, mostly so I could walk around and walk off what little sugar I had had in my dinner. A nurse at work told me that walking after eating would help my sugar, but since it is so hot out I opted for shopping as my form of walking, and well it is walking. So hopefully, my sugar will be good in the morning, yet I am soo craving some ice cream, but I will settle for sugar free pudding instead. It tastes pretty good but I am really missing ice cream lately and all sorts of goodies. And it doesnt help when all around me other people can have their cake and eat it too. I actually made a cake this week for a girl at work and I told Dean I would make goodies for opening night of his show, I dont know why I chose to torture myself, but usually when I bake things for others I do it out of a pure desire to see them enjoy it, but lately I cant help but get jealous that I cant have it too. And before, by the time I put the effort into baking something I dont want it because of all the work and cleaning up I do but I think my lack of sweets is getting to me….but alas, I will none the less bake goodies for others and sit back and watch them smile all for the love of Kiddo…….ah, Kiddo , if you only knew what I’ve gone through for you thus far……
