Well, I was asked to produce Into the Woods for Mason Community Players this summer. And I was thrilled to be asked but now I feel so horrible because I am not going to be able to do it. Today I came home from work and couldnt even eat dinner because I was so tired. Dean got on me and told me that I needed to make calls about the show but I couldnt keep my eyes open, it was a wonder I made it home w/out getting into an accident. So, I crawled into bed and slept for a few hours, but I really only thought I would sleep for a little bit and wake up feeling better but I must have been out of it. And this is how it has been, no doubt because of the anemia, but nonetheless I can’t help but feeling as though I am letting everyone down by not being able to do the show, and I really want to work on it but I emailed one of the girls tonight about resigning from producing. Of course I blamed it on my health but I cant imagine it is a good thing for me to be so stressed about it on top of all the other stuff going on right now with my health. So I am sure Dean will be very upset with me for not going through with my job but I think I made a good decision and I probably never should have agreed to take the position considering the show opens less than a month before my due date and ends 2 weeks before my due date. And now with the possible diabetes chances are if I do have diabetes that the baby will be born before the due date anyway. So here I sit convincing myself I am not a loser just a concerned mother, but I keep hearing Dean in my head and I am sure what I think he wil say is nothing compared to what he will say. Oh well. I guess all that matters is how I feel and I think resigning from the position when I still can is best as opposed to holding on to a job I cant do when there are others capable of doing it well. So now I think I will go back to bed because I am still soooo tired!
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