means many things to so many! I feel like a maid, a short order cook, ,a laundry service, nurse, a chauffeur, a teacher, a coach, referee and sometimes I get to be a good artist, event planner, tour guide(whether it’s through the zoo, museum or just the vegetable section of Kroger), and counselor.
Lately I’ve been trying to be a good wife, mother, daughter and friend. For years I’ve given up on my “dreams” and given my all to being all of the things above and sometimes it’s priceless, some days I would willingly go to a “real” job to earn a measly salary just to feel appreciated or as though I did something worthwhile! Yesterday Boaz, our middle son, went to a kindergarten transition event with his current preschool teacher. Next school year he will join his big brother in attending elementary school from 8am-2:40pm. Zeke will move on to afternoon preschool which means he’ll be away from me 12:20pm-3p.m. I dare say there will be 4 days a week (Zeke had school Mon-Thursday afternoons and Fridays is off) with a few hours all to myself. It wont be quite enough time to do too much, but I have a feeling I can fit a good amount of laundry, grocery shopping, and maybe even a nap every now and then. OR a good bike ride, walk, or dare I dream a movie all by myself in the middle of the day!! or a quiet time to read a book that doesn’t have pictures!!
I’ve been dreaming even bigger, cause it’s fun once you start it! Even more exciting is after the 10-11 school year all three boys will be in school from 8am-2:40pm. Leaving me quite a few hours to myself, plenty of time to do whatever I want. But the problem is how do I use that time most wisely, to enable me to be free from chores/demands to spend that after 2:40pm time to give to the boys alone! To enable me to be able to exercise, get healthy and stay healthy for once! To have days I can volunteer at church without worrying about needing childcare concerns!
In 1998 I became a wife. In 2001 I became a mom. I am scared to question or even dream too much for fear of what it will mean but in 2011 I will be a stay at home mom to 3 boys who are all in school all day, and well that leaves me without a job from 8-2pm right?? I dont think so. I think if anything this will be the time for me to take care of figuring out who I am. Who I want to be in this next stage of my life. To not just being a wife or a mother. I do countless meaningless tasks a day, but I also do countless very meaningful things to help my boys grow up to achieve great things with the gifts God has given them.
I am currently also doing things that are affecting not even just my kids or their future generations but that of others as well, it’s a long story but God has gifted us with a very full home and despite what could be chaos there has been great joy and rejoicing at becoming more than just what we thought we could have, we are now able to reach other and touch others lives, in practical ways. to love people that we never dreamed would be in our lives. I am struggling a lot, not with being overwhelmed with too much work but with loving too many people and doing my best to help them in any way I can. I’m at the end of my own usefulness. Something needs to give, and I think the last few months as I’ve prayed for God to guide me to the next phase of my life and to prepare me for what that might look like, that He has showed me that He has more for me than I could have ever dreamed. and also He’s daily reminding me that I have all the skills I need for the job he’s requiring me to do right now. I’ve got time left still before I get to start working on those dreams I’ve been dreaming, and so for now I’m focusing on what’s in front of me. I’m blessed to have so many opportunities to use the gifts He’s given me, not just to be a mom to my own boys or a wife to my husband, but to be so many things to so many people. I have found great joy in being able to share what I have with others, but I also am hurting because I know that there are needs I can’t supply for some that are hurting, wounds I can’t dare to even think I could ease on my own.
So on this Mother’s day as I am surrounded by the 3 wonderful boys that God has blessed me with, and a niece who chooses to bless me with her presence in our life, and an amazing young man from a world so foreign to me that I can’t dare imagine what he thinks of us other than he has been so joyous and appreciative and tells us he wants to stay here as long as he can, that I know that all of us in this house together is truly a divine plan. There’s nothing special about this McKenzie home, this McKenzie family, but our door is open and we do our best to love unconditionally and give what we can to those that need if we can. On this Mother’s day I am grateful to be a “mom” and so much more, but more than anything I am happy to have a home big enough to fill so that there’s always room to spread more love and joy to others, even if sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it seems crazy, but it’s our life and I wouldn’t exchange it for anything.
On this Mother’s day I thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me w/ so many “children” in my home, because he has heard my hearts desires and blessed us in ways I never thought he could. I also thank my wonderful hubby for loving me and choosing to stick with me and for being the man who helped created these precious boys who amaze us daily with their gifts/talents. I also thank him for allowing me to give up on those dreams, and to enable me to stay home and be “just a mom” for all these years and working to make sure we are always financially able to make things work despite not having 2 incomes. I also want to thank him for allowing me to dream for our future, to allow me to dream about going back to school one day and supporting me in the decision to not go back to work just because soon all our boys will be in school. But most of all I want to thank Dean for being such an amazing father and husband, for being Abu Caleb, we prayed and dreamed for a child for what seemed like forever and then one day were blessed with not just one but 3 boys. I know we both have hearts big enough to love so many more children but know my body wasnt meant to physically mother more children. I thank him for sticking through it good bad healthy and unhealthy and for doing it all just because when we were young, foolish and in love he choose me! If he hadn’t I wouldn’t be the mother I am today! so on this mother’s day I thank the best father I know on this earth, my husband! I love you and am so glad our family is what it is today and am excited for the dreams we can have and still hope for our future! 
