it’s not such a bad day considering how I’ve heard people talk about today being cursed. In the elavator at the hospital where I had my appt today they were talking about it. One lady said it’s not that big a deal, she said the “0” in “06” takes away from it being so bad, that it’s not really 666, it’s 6606! then a guy said it depends how you look at it, he said some people will say that it’s sunny today while others while say that it’s cloudy, when in fact it’s both!  I was cracking up by the time I got to the floor I needed to be on. I mean people have really put some thought into it!  I just think it’s funny.
My appt went about as we expected. He focused on treating my migraines, something that my primary dr already did last week for me and he wants to see me in month for them but I’m hoping I can just see her( my pcp) since it’s cheaper and I like her better!  he was about to let me leave without even addressing the other symptoms until I mentioned it, at which point he repeated that he doesnt know what it’s from and he’s done all the testing he can for neurological causes and found nothing so I should see my pcp for those symptoms.  So now I have to call her and tell her basically that he said the same thing he said last week so we’re back to square one.  I’m almost to the point where I just dont care. so far I’m getting through my days ok, some days are much worse than others and I know we dont have the money to keep spending on drs appointments that end the same way, with no information or hope even.  I spent $30 w/ copays and parking for nothing.  I could have used that money on much better things, things we need. I dont even feel like calling the other dr to talk to her because it seems pointless.  I just wanted some answers and something to make me feel better and it’s not going to happen so why should I bother. one of my symptoms I’ve had off and on for about 8 years now, and back then I went to an ENT who did tons of testing and found little to nothing.  I’m wondering if that’s who I should go to now for some of this.  I really dont want to do anything. I mean if it’s not MS then it cant be too big a deal and since I”ve had some of these problems foryears I guess I can continue to deal with it for a while longer. I’m guessing I’ll always feel this way and never know why.  I just hope sometime soon some of the symptoms go away and I feel like I can live my life like I used to, when things were easy and everything didnt tire me and my days dont end in pain.  one day, maybe that will happen. until then I think I”m done with doctors. I just cant keep going and leaving my kids and spending the money when I could be living life and just trying to get through my day.
