alright, as my neat-o neice mentioned in her recent comment, my MIL and some neices and nephew came to visit us over spring break.  MIL stayed with us, neices and nephew stayed with their other grandmom who lives near us.   I took a few pics of them with the baby but didnt want to post them without their permission, I try not to post pics of anyone other than our immediate family in case someone doesnt want their pics online.   So Dean worked a few days last week while they were here but other than that we all just hung out.  I tried to rest while I had the help and that was nice.   I mentioned to a friend that it would be great to be back in Ohio, with neices and nephews now old enough to babysit or at least help there as opposed to having no young teenagers we know here to help out now and then!   😉

I’ve been having a hard time finding the energy to write out much here.  I have a lot on my mind but I doubt it would make for good reading for any of my daily readers, if there still are any!   It was great to have family here last week, I know it’s hard on Dean the most being away from them.   I am always amazed how fast everyone is growing up.   In our heads we still the youngest neice as the baby and she’s so grown up now, they all are, it’s sad to be missing out on the important stuff in their lives.    I mean we’re here but still a few hours from my brothers kids, but there’s not much to go do w/ them other than have the boys play together.  Dean’s neices and nephews are all involved in sports and church things, events we could go support them at, but we’re so far away.    It’s sad,the worst part is we will never get to be there for everyone, no matter where we are.  We’re always going to miss out on someone’s life and it sucks!  Dean wont have much time off left after using time to stay home to help me now w/ the baby and kids but we are hoping to try to get to Ohio this summer but that means there wont be any paid time off left at the end of the year for the other holidays.

speaking of Dean, a friend of ours asked if we could keep her kids for a few hours today so she could go to some meetings for her work, she usually works part time.  I knew I couldnt but then we remembered Dean was off so Dean’s been playing babysitter all day.  I feel bad for him, I figured it would give Caleb someone to play with but I think it’s wearing Dean out.  I must admit he’s getting better at this stay at home dad stuff though, today he’s done better in overall with keeping up with the kids than he has in the last few weeks, maybe it’s because he’s finallly learning to multitask some that or because he’s sleeping better at night.  who knows but I’m proud of him, if he could just get the concept of cleaning up messses as they happen…but hey I’m grateful for all he’s done and it has been amazing how well he’s doing today.  I think the nice weather is helping too, he’s been able to keep the kids outside a lot.   I’m sure Dean will sleep well tonight, and the kids too!

Me on the other hand, I’m trying to rest since I’ve had a headache all day since waking.   I dont know how I’m going to manage next week once Dean’s at work, since I’m getting up so much at night, I’ve been staying in bed til around 9 am when zeke eats again then I get up and get ready for the day.  I think I just need to get myself asleep earlier, I havent been going to sleep til after Zekes feeding which happens somewhere between 11:30pm – 1am.   Next week I’ll need to be up and ready for things before Dean leaves for work since Bo will be awake.  I am so tired still all of the time and not feeling well.  Dreading my drs appt tomorrow but at least it’s the start to figuring out what’s wrong with me, again!

One note on Easter, we went to my grandparents, my dad’s parents.  almost everyone was there, but my dad of course.   I did well as long as I didnt expect him to come, if I go expecting him to show and he doesnt then I get upset, this time I didnt expect anything from him so I wasnt let down when he didnt show.  It’s said, not just for me his daughter and his grandkids, but he continues to miss out on the lives of his parents, siblings and the rest of the family.  I had a great time visiting w/ the family and sadly he wasnt missed, had he been there it would have been more stressful for me to explain to my kids who he was to us.    I love my dad and all but I’m done greiving the relationship we dont have.

well that should be a long random enough entry for today…zeke is hungry so I gotta run…