my aching back

They say every pregnancy is different.  My second was mostly like my first if not a little more high risk.   This one so far had seemed easier; less morning sickness and overall I felt mostly better once the first trimester fatigue faded.   The last six weeks I’ve started to realize that things could be better.   I have been in so much pain and for being pregnant and the severity of the pain I’d think it was as bad as my back labor (before the epidural) was during Calebs unsuccessful labor which ended in a c-section.  but then I knew an end was in sight and the pain was worth it, I mean I was in labor which meant the kid was arriving soon.   these last few weeks I”ve been suffering with horrible ,to say it nicely, back pain.  it was just my mid back but the last few days it’s everywhere in my back.   Today after sitting through the chronicles of narnia and barely being able to stand straight due to the pain I wondered if I was in some sort of pre term labor.   It wouldnt be unheard of I suppose and in truth I wouldnt care if it meant I could get a dr to do something about the pain.   I have an ob appt tomorrow and I’m going to beg and plead for some help.  I’ve suffered for weeks and it’s getting so much worse.   Sure I could go to physical therapy but then we wouldnt have money for say  food or diapers or much anything else we might need.    I just cant believe theres no other option that I’m just supposed to deal with pain so severe I cant function.

I will probably get sent for my next glucose check in the next two weeks so things will get more interesting I’m sure, the chances of being insulin dependent in my last pregnancy, on a pill form of treatment for it in my firt pregnancy and then not having gest. diabetes in a third pregnancy would be pretty rare I’m sure.   Yesterday someone said you never know you might not have it this time, yeah uh uh I’m sure that will happen.   I kindly let them know that after being insulin dependent once the chances of that would be slim and changed the subject.    i’m not ready for insulin or more frequent appointments or ultrasounds.  i just want this one to end without all the drama and craziness that the first 2 pregnancies had.  I want this one to not have it’s own set of mysterious symptoms that concern the drs but leave me without a diagnose.  I’m done with that.  someone asked if we were going to have another baby after this and I said no.   for a while there i was thinking this one wasnt so bad, in fact the best of all the pregnancies and in general it’s probably true if I werent having horrible pain and already high blood pressure.   Things can be different I suppose, I’d give anything for a carefree 3rd trimester, to have the time and energy to enjoy the kids I already have, to not feel like they are being jipped by their soon to arrive brothers affect on my body and how it affects all of us.   Only 25 1/2 weeks down and I feel and look like I should be delivering this kid any day.    And sadly enough I wish I was soon because that’s how miserable it’s getting.   i have a pretty high pain tolerance but when I cant stand or walk and have to literally stop and breathe through the pain so I can move about it’s not any fun for me or those around me.   I apologize for being a whiner and that my house isnt clean and that things just arent getting done like they used to but I think we better all get used to it for at least another couple of months.   Please pray my ob appt goes well tomorrow and that if anything I convince them to do some sort of test to figure out why the pain is oh so bad all the freakin time.   I really dont care what they do but it would be nice if a dr acted like they cared that I was in so much pain that I’ve considered going to the ER every day for a few weeks now.   I hate hospitals and drs in general but at this rate I’d love either if it meant relief.