As I was getting up this morning I came to realize an awful thought about having the baby this week, ok, yes I am ready to have this baby. But I was not even thinking about everything else that will be going on. Yes, I knew that my mom and step dad would be here and that they’d be sleeping at our house but I don’t think it hit me until this morning that if I am induced this week that they will be here this week, as early as Tuesday!!!
Dean went to church without me this morning because since he works the camera during two services I’d have to sit around for about 3 hours waiting for him, and not that I would mind, but two weeks ago I stopped doing my job with cameras so I could be able to rest and so they could replace me before Caleb got here. So shortly after Dean left I had come across the realization that we might not only have an addition to our immediate family this week but that we’d be having house guests for at least a week or so. So I had planned on getting up and doing some housework while Dean was gone this morning but since I realized we’d be having company I have been running around mopping, cleaning, and everything else that needs done. Which is the last thing I should be doing right now, as these persistent cramps keep reminding me. But I cant manage to stop myself. Yesterday I went through and opened up Caleb’s last few unopened toys and washed his crib sheets again. Rachel, my sister in law, says I am nesting, me I am just thinking that I know these things need done and I may not have time after tomorrow to do anything.
We never did go to Yellow Springs yesterday like I had wanted. I was up almost all of Friday night being very uncomfortable and I kept having bad cramps, Dean says it’s contractions, all I know is that it hurts and it feels like menstrual cramps. They arent consistent enough for me to call them contractions so I won’t. I figure if I start leaking any fluids I will get concerned. Until then I am going to get this house ready for guests and a new baby! But in the back of my head the rational part of me says this burst of energy and desire to clean means I am nesting and that I really should take this time to rest not clean, like I’ve read in a zillion books and magazines, but how can you be rational when you know your mom will come and if the house isnt clean she will spend her visit cleaning for you and that is the last thing I want to know she is doing while I am in the hospital. I think the worst thought about them being here while I am in the hospital, is knowing they may be here alone, or with Dean to entertain them. And not that Dean can’t it’s just that I know how he feels about their visits in general and I can’t imagine how bad it will be for him if he has to deal with them alone while I am in the hospital! He likes my parents, but there is a lot that they dont get agree on, and I only hope this visit goes better than the last one! But I think they’ll be too worried about me and Caleb to fret over other things, or so I hope. The other thought about having the baby this week is knowing I havent decided how or when to notify my real dad about when Caleb is coming, I am hoping to know when I will be induced and then call eveyrone and tell them, but I dont know if I actually expect him to come or even care. And I know the last thing I need to worry about is having him and mom hanging around in the waiting room together. Argh! I dont think it will happen, and if Dad keeps up his usual behavior he wont show, but sometimes you never know with him. So I think I better stop stressing over everything or it will be my own fault that my blood pressure is up tomorrow and not for any real health reason at all. Well back to the housework and then maybe a nap, I sure am getting tired again, it doesnt take much anymore.
