Another morning outing with Zeke, this time to Ikea. We were in need of new silverware as somehow all of our spoons keep disappearing. This might have a lot to do with the fact certain children think spoons are digging tools and may or not take them to the yard to use and not return them to the house, just possibly. I dropped Zeke off in the childcare area and went on an adventure that was a first for me. I was alone shopping in Ikea. I had a whole hour without kids to walk around the heaven that is discount housewares with a decent amount of money in the bank to do some damage. I was proud of myself as I picked up many things, and my econ professor would be proud, did the opportunity cost analysis and put them promptly back. I picked Zeke up before my hour was up so that we could enjoy lunch there before I had to get him to school.
He wanted to eat in the kiddie sized seats so I sat at a table right next to it by myself where I could see him clearly. I ate my lunch and he ate his. Some other boys came over to play and talk with him and I got chatty with their moms who were one table over. They were eating together and had a baby in a high chair and I think two toddler aged kids running around the place adoring Zeke and his meal. They commmented on how well behaved Zeke was and they wished their sons, both years younger than Zeke, would learn from his example and sit down and eat. In inwardly laughed and offered encouragement.
I sat there quietly watching them as they tried to convince their young kids to eat their lunch amidst the chaos as I sat alone at my table while my son at his lunch quietly at his table. I wondered how I got to be so blessed. Then I laughed again to myself. I used to sit at their table. A few years ago I had kids those ages, and I’d take them to the store or a restaurant and fight the same fights. I’d lose them too. I won some battles, I lost more than I’d care to recount. But today I was bathing in the joy of being a mom to a 4th grader, a kindergartner, and a wonderfully behaved preschooler.
As I cleaned up our mess I composed a blog entry in my mind, and it was more eloquent than this, because since Friday I’ve learned many more lessons, blogged many more blogs in my mind of lessons I want to write about that I’m learning every day about how I’m growing as my kids grow. But I used to mourn the fact that I’ll no longer be able to have a baby, or that I’ll no longer have a little one running around, but on Friday as I sat looking at my son, and at those ladies struggling w/ those kids, I realized that I fought those battles, I’ve done my time and this is a new season. I’ve got new battles to fight and new things on the horizon.
There won’t be the joys of holding a newborn or watching a baby walk his first steps, but there will be the joys I get now, like watching Bo read and write by himself, watching Zeke do likewise. Hearing Caleb talk to me about life and death and his interests, to me, because despite his crappy attitude he does love me. I’ve exchanged diapers and those first days of potty training for a new kind of potty training, and I hate it equally, fighting over getting them to flush the toilet, and taking forever to poop in public and going potty before we leave the house!!
Just like in finance, there are cost. We give up one thing for the benefit of another. I realized on Friday that I am grateful to be done chasing toddlers and changing diapers, I’m too tired to do that. I’m glad I am able to these news things with my kids and be able to sit down and enjoy them doing it!!
