Who would have thought a rock opera that I had to turn my eyes from because of all the blood and gore would leave me in tears at the end because of the complexity of the story line and lyrics?  About a week ago Dean and I watched Repo: The Genetic Opera. I was actually really impressed with it, and despite the blood, still find myself thinking often about the music.  Today as I was driving and talking with my neice it reminded me that I meant to look up the lyrics to one song in particular because I couldn’t believe how perfect it was. How fitting the lyrics seemed to be to how I felt so very often in life about my health. It also speaks to the truth I believe firmly in, that despite circumstances, or genetics, we can overcome our past or present by the actions we choose to make, whether it’s the choose of inaction or by choosing to have a more positive attitude.  I admit as I struggle even now with daily pain and the difficulty of making myself get out of bed, that I do it because I know God provides me more than enough to do what He requires of me for this day and this day alone. If I get too tired then I lay down and I know I am done for now, and if more is needed than it will work out and if not then it wasn’t all that important to begin with.  And just like today, everything got done that needed to and then some.  I served my family first, my church second, my family some more, then took care of my homework and am spending time relaxing with my husband.   All throughout my day I sang worship songs and prayed when I got the chance, and read when I got the chance.  I do my best, with what I’m given.
A few days ago while I was driving through downtown Cincinnati listening to the song “beautiful” by Mercy Me which usually reminds me of how blessed I am to be loved, I kept looking at the city, as I had been driving down Reading Rd. for a good 10 minutes I had revelations about God wanting his city to feel loved and to lifted up.  Normally I relate that song to myself. The lyrics go like this:
“You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You’re beautiful
Praying that you have the heart to fight
Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross”
seemed particularly poignant as I drove down streets that were empty by day that I knew by night looked completely different.  Streets that held darkness and despair, for many who walked them.  I kept wondering how many of them had never heard this song or it’s message and never knew the depths of hope and what it could mean for them if they did.  It broke my heart as I drove farther and farther into the city that day.   I grew up in a city like this, well for part of my young life, taking public transportation from our home in the inner city to the better middle school a good 40 min bus ride at least on a good day maybe? I can’t even remember how long the trip was itself, I just know, being young and having to wait on a public transportation bus stop alone and then having to walk to school from the bus stop. One year there were frequent problems with violence on the bus stops.  I’m far from the city girl I grew up as, but my heart still holds the memories and we had it pretty good even.  I can’t imagine my 9 year old today doing anything close to this, he’s so spoiled he’d throw a fit at the first mention of walking to the end of the street let alone taking a public bus for an hour alone! Nor would I let him because of what I did at that age and what I don’t want for my kids to go through. I know families today have it worse I am sure, with the recession the way it is and the culture being so different, there are so many new challenges. I am grateful my children are growing up in a stable home, in the comfort of a stay at home mom, a full time working dad. But we also wish our kids knew a little bit more of the struggle we knew growing up. Knew a little more of the diversity we knew growing up. Knew what it was like to be a “city” kid.  Suburbia is kind of nice, but I don’t want to be content. I don’t want to forget about those that send their kids to unsafe schools, unsafe bus stops, empty homes after school.  These are just some of the ways God reminds me of where I came from and keeps me from never getting too comfortable.
Other times I encounter God in the ways my children tell me about their faith.  More amazingly I see God’s creation and am amazed at how He could even allow us to damage this beautiful earth He created day in and day out, and how infrequently we stop to take time to cherish and respect his creations instead of demolish and destroy them.  But other times, I watch/listen to a secular, rock opera movie and hear these lyrics ring out true and can only see the redemptive story of Jesus in my life and am grateful for the hope and grace I have despite my failures and my past:
Repo: The Genetic Opera
Genetic Emancipation lyrics
“Years
It’s been so many years
Resenting the years, and my heredity
Oh, I have hated and loved you
I have hidden behind you
But I finally see
That you
I’ve mistaken for destiny
But the truth is my legacy
Is not up to my genes
True
Though the imprint is deep in me
It will always be up to me
Up to me
Woooooah-Whooooooah-Whoooooah
Free at last
Woooooah-Whooooooah-Whooooah
Free at last”
