So as you can see from pics we had a baby shower for a friend this weekend! Our church is currently full of preggo women, starting from October til March we have at least one woman due each month. I was the second mommy to have her baby. My close friend is scheduled to be induced on Wednesday but she had an appointment today so who knows maybe sooner!! I’m so excited for them. This is their third child.
We were newer to the church when they were pregnant with their second child and I remember going to the hospital to visit them when they had that baby, I even remember the outfit we got for the baby. (mostly becuase it was a girl and I never get the chance to buy girl baby outfits so I was excited!) dean and I were at that time starting to do our best to start new friendships with people from our church since we were newer and this couple was one of the first couples we met and started to do things with. The fact that we are going to be a part of their life as they have another child is somewhat of a milestone for me. Other than family this is the first family we’ve known and had a close relationship with that we have been around to experience their having two children with. (yes they have 3 children but we werent around to see him born) This might not seem like a big deal to anyone else, and until she reads this she may be a bit suprised that this is means so much to me, her having another kid and all! 😉
For me it means we’ve been part of this church community for longer than any other except for the ones we grew up in. So other than the churches we were in as children I’ve never been part of a church community as long as we have with this one. Not a big deal right? well to me it is. After my parents divorced my mom took us to several different churches until she found the right one, the one where we stayed until I left to move out of state w/ Dean. Now that’s a long time when you are stil young! (about 8 years) When we moved back to Balto. Dean and I both knew we didnt want to raise our children in the churches we grew up in for many reasons, ones I dont feel comfortably sharing here. We went to Deans old church in hopes it might be okay since he had a lot of friends there, but we were turned off by it and began seeking a new church. That’s when we found our current church. We are both so happy that our children are going to grow up in this community. Our kids are already loved beyond belief by our friends there and Caleb amazes us with how he will say things about Jesus that we didnt know he even knew. For example yesterday he hurt his hand and I heard him saying something about Jesus to himself and I asked him what he was saying and he said he was asking Jesus to make it better, that was way too cute and I know he meant it. He also knows that jesus saved us a week or so ago when we were almost in a bad car accident. The boy has faith in someone he hasnt seen, ah to be a child again. But he has that faith because of the community we are in.
An important part for me though about this milestone is the relationships. I have friends that have multiple kids but I wasnt a part of their life when they were pregnant or delivered their children. To be a part of one of the most important times in someones life is a great privilege and it also is a great relationship builder. I am overjoyed that so many of our friends at church are having babies, months away from the birth of Boaz. These are the children that will play together and will be a smaller community amidst the bigger community going on in our church. They are the future of our church. the things we teach them and they way we interact with them will stay with them for their lifetime. these are the children that will be the first friends to my son. While we dont know the personalities of these babies yet or what they will one day grow up to be, I have faith knowing their parents and the amazing relationships we have with them that my son will among other wonderful children and I look forward to seeing them play together and grow together. So while this is an important week for our friends, I cant help but think it’s also a great beginning for our church family.
Speaking of community, after the shower last night some of us went out to get dinner. Due to my error before the shower, I thought the shower started at 7 when indeed it started at 6 and it wasnt until 5:30 that I realized that I had to be showered and at the church w/ the cake in 30 minutes, we managed to forget some things for the baby. For example a bottle and a pacifier, not that the child likes either but when going out to this restaurant it would have been very necessary. So I nursed the baby during the shower some and thought we’d be fine til after we ate dinner, but Bo had other ideas. I love the place we were going to eat but last time we were there we also had problems and I ended up nursing him in the car. So of course, Bo got fussy for some reason and the only thing I could do was nurse him since we had nothing but me to pacify him. I decided to bite the bullet and drap in a blanket and nurse, well I was very uncomfortable because I try not to nurse in front of some people that were with us, you know, men! but we apologized and they seemed ok with it but sitting a table away a women began pointing and making rude faces at me as I started to nurse the baby, who was completely hidden as was I under the blanket. If I nurse in public, which I try to make happen very rarely, I do it very very discreetly. I was so upset by this lady that I stopped nursing and found a place in the restaurant away from all people to nurse him in private, a table and chair by a courtesy phone in the hallway to the bathroom. I was close enough to our dining group that I could hear them talking and that made me madder. here I was removing myself from my friends and dinner because of some strangers gleering looks. I am still new to nursing and am one of those people that takes offense to a lot, or rather takes things personally so it doesnt take much to upset me. I dont know what to do in these situations but I do know that it’s not fair to my child to not get to eat because someone thinks it’s wrong for me to feed my baby in a restaurant. all around me people were eating their food and tables away a mother safely bottle fed her child, but for me to feed my child his food in this place of eating was apparently not okay. Who decides these things and is there etiquette for this type of thing? I hate not knowing these things and hate having to worry about other peoples feelings when all I want and need to do is feed my son. I’ve never been around a breastfeeding mom and only am just now in friendships with some so I’ve never had the chance before I was a nursing mom to find out what the “rules” are. All I know is that for something that is so natural and necessary to my childs health at this point, it seems quite rude for anyone to question or judge my decision to do it. Had to vent that today!! Any advice for nursing in public, especially restaurants would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!!! Especially since my birthday is in a week and I’m hoping to get in a “date” with the hubby but I know that that means a sitter for caleb and having to take the baby with us since he wont take a bottle. Not to mention we got tons of restaurant gift certificates for christmas but I almost hate going out to eat unless we plan it that I feed the baby immediately before we go and that’s so hard to time sometimes. especially when that may not be enough when it comes down to it, I have no clue when or how hungry the kid is and he could easily decide to be hungry again after we have left and are dining out. I dont mean to sound like the baby is interferring with our eating out, we’ve eaten out a lot and only had problems a few times but thats enough to make me rethink going out to eat. So advice me oh wise mommies who frequent my lovely website……;-)
