Dieting dilemma

while I am not at all happy w/ my diet right now, there is one major plus to eating this way: energy. I have so much more energy in the last two weeks. A few weeks ago I went to the ob complaining of extreme fatigue, to the point of not being able to get out of bed, today I not only got out of bed, took the kid to his first day solo at preschool but ran countless errands, including grocery shopping, came home fed the kid lunch, went for a walk to the park w/ Caleb, then put him down for nap while I mowed the grass. I tried to nap after all that but I just couldnt sleep so I took a shower to ease my aching feet! Dinner is well on it’s way to being done and the house is clean. I love days like these! the true test will be how I feel tomorrow!

And that being said about diet, it’s not that I cant hack the not eating sugar or sweets that I was craving before, because I’ve had barely any cravings this last week. Sure I’d love something naughty but the amount of fruit I’m eating now fills my sweet need more than any chocolate could. For me the hardest part of my 1800 calorie diet is eating that much food. I’m not a breakfast eater and while I may be overweight my problem is not usually overeating at meals, it’s more lack of exercise, heck in the last year I’ve maintained the same weight, not gained or lost, which for me was a good thing. I had figured out how to eat to maintain the 25 lbs I lost doing atkins. So coming into this pregnancy I knew what dieting was, but for me this is more torture than atkins. I’d rather cut carbs completely then be forced to eat these huge amounts of food at meals. For lunch and dinner I have to eat 2 starches, a serving of fruit, 2 servings of veggies, 3 servings of meat and 2 servings of fat. Thats a lot of freaking food. yes, the serving sizes are not huge, but adding fruit and that amount of starches to my diet is difficult since I was cutting carbs, aka starches before and fruit becuase I learned w/ Caleb that fruit makes my blood sugar go nuts. but if I follow this meal plan I have to eat it. I’m supposed to talk to the dietician tomorrow and am dreading it. I know it’s healthy to eat fruits and veggies w/ meals but I usually plan to eat one or the other at a meal, before this diet that is. it’s not that I dont like veggies or fruit, I actually love having to eat them it’s just hard to do it all at one meal. My belly is not used to eating so much at one meal. it’s getting annoying forcing myself to eat when I am not hungry at all, meantime when I am starving at 11 am or 11 pm I cant eat anything because those times arent in my meal plan. I literally have to eat w/in certain time frames, quite annoying and inconvenient. So the cutting sweets of this diet isnt killing me, it’s the eating! who would have thought! but the more days I do this the more I remember this by the exact reason I couldnt hack the diet the first pregnancy and thus needed meds to regulate my sugar. Sure I feel better on this diet overall but my poor stomach is constantly complaining about the situation, it’s either achy and way too full or achy and starving.

well that was somewhat not pregnancy related, if I wasnt pregnant I wouldnt have this diet right now! As I quickly mentioned above, Caleb went to preschool this morning on his own. The first few times I was a parent volunteer in class so he was with me off and on. Today I dropped him off and got a chance to go shopping and run errands alone, other than w/ Baby B in my belly of course. I’m going to take advantage of the next 9 weeks of shopping during this time because it’s soooo nice! Once the baby comes it will be a little more difficult since I’ll have to take the baby shopping w/ me and for the life of me I dont remember how I did grocery shopping w/ Caleb as an infant, I am guessing I did it though because I know we ate and that I cooked! Funny the things we forget as parents. I’m hoping I never forget today, taking my little boy to school and seeing the joy in his face and in his voice when I arrived to pick him up. He loves school and does great there. He has a little boy he’s taken on as a friend, and to hear him say his name is so sweet, William. Too cute. There’s also only 2 girls in the class and one Caleb is quite taken w/ but she’s always trying to play with the other boys, my poor boy is already dealing w/ rejection. and it’s not due to lack of looks, our boy is a looker and a sweetheart! He’s very good with the other kids and they all seem to get along just fine so far. It’s a huge relief to know your son is social and independent. There are some things you can teach a child and other things I think are just a part of their personality, wherever it comes from, I’m grateful our son is how he is. He may get grouchy a lot, no doubt a trait adopted from me or well maybe even his dad, but it’s not nearly as bad as things could be for behavior problems in a 3 year old. The other day Caleb was doing something sweet and adorable and I commented to Dean that the great part is we get to do this all over again w/ Baby B. Yes nothing will be as wonderful as your firstborns accomplishments or cute sayings or silly song singing, but to know we will have the joy of raising another wonderful little boy is an amazing thing. God has blessed us in so many ways, and yes while it might be nice to have a little girl, I’m almost relieved to have a boy again because I already know how to handle them and well being a girl and all I know we are much more complicated creatures! So today was memorable for many reasons and I only hope my preggo brain can retain all the wonderfulness of it!