I started attending a bible study on Friday mornings w/ ladies from our church. We are doing a study called Jesus the One and Only by Beth Moore. There are 5 days of daily reading w/ exercises. I’ve learned a lot about the bible in the last week and a half but more importantly I’ve learned a lot about me. Alot about how I need to stop focusing on how to keep control of things in my life when God is always in control. It’s been a rushed crazy week for me. More than ever I need to focus on Him, more than ever I have never felt so alone. I wonder if sometimes God sits back quietly waiting for us to break and to give it all over to him completely. I’ve been to that point before, this week I’ve cried over so many things and then cant explain why I got so upset. A lot is going on w/ me and the stresses in our home are overwhelming me. Mind you Dean and I are doing fine, had some rough times but otherwise good. It’s mostly money and work related and just plain life beating me up.
I am soooo looking forward to this weekend. Dean and I are going away for two days without Caleb. Dean’s parents are coming to stay at our house tomorrow night through Monday and we are taking the oppurtunity to go to Virginia Beach w/ friends. We really cant afford much but thankfully we wont have much expense other than food. I am looking forward to a time of refreshing relaxation although I am sure I will miss my baby boy.
Aside from the busy-ness of life lately, I’ve actually had a lot of time to be with a few close friends. Last Friday I got together w/ a friend I dont know very well but am trying my best to be open for. Monday night a couple from our small group came over for dinner. My closest friend and I have been spending a lot of time together, which is good cause our kids love each other. Spent tuesday visiting an old friend who has a daughter a year older than Caleb. The kids had fun and we got a chance to talk, and it was good for me.
Like I said it’s been an emotional week for me. New pains, old pains, love, sadness, joys and laughter. In the midst of it all I’ve found my biggest comfort in the words of the song: I’m here to meet w/ you, come and meet w/ me….I’m here to find you, reveal yourself to me…as I wait you make me strong, as I stand you draw me to your arms ….wont you come wont come and fill this place
