Have you ever felt like

Have you ever felt like you just needed to talk. Not just to hear yourself, but because you weren’t sure how you felt and it always helps to talk it out. Well, we’d been going to a counselor, not for marriage problems, mostly to deal with my dysfunctional childhood, and we stopped going for a while due to our schedules and changes in insurance. This morning I had an appt. to go by myself to see our counselor since we hadn’t been in a while. I sat there waiting for her wondering what we’d talk about. I was feeling ok, not too upset or worried about things, as I usually am. So we talked. Just caught up on the last few months.

I got to brag about my growing toddler and his adventures. I boasted of my husbands new job that he loves so much and pays so much more. I talked about my desire to have another baby soon, and my inability too until I get my blood pressure and weight under control. I talked about Dean’s desire to wait to have another baby. She told me that maybe it’s good I realize its better to wait even if my reasons for waiting arent the same as Deans. Basically, I just talked. Had a real adult conversation with someone who didn’t want me to fix their referral, get them a stat appointment, fix dinner, do the laundry or change dirty diapers. It felt good. I left w/ a smile on my face.

As I got to the parking garage I had the chance for more adult conversation. A co-worker of mine was arriving so we walked to work together chatting about how our kids rattle our nerves! Oh yeah, I drove today. Much better than waiting for a bus and walking a block or ten, not to mention it was a tad chilly today so I was glad to have my car! Back to the bus tomorrow though.

Tomorrow I have yet another doctors appt, I’ve had 4 appts. in just as many days since last Friday. Like I said I have to get my blood pressure under control, not sure how since I don’t know whats causing it, the consensus seems to be I need to lose weight, surprise surprise. Thing is, I had lost 6 pounds in the 3 weeks since my last appointment, so I am least starting off well. The dr gave me meds for my blood pressure and it’s making me so ill that I am sure I’ll lose another pound or two, since I’ve no desire to eat. Maybe it’s a trick, diet pills not bp pills. Who knows. I’ve been eating less than a meal a day, so with any luck that will lead to losing some pounds. My appt. tomorrow is for a hearing test. I’ve been long ignoring my declining ability to hear, despite Deans constant yelling to get my to listen! Not quite sure what they’ll do if I have hearing loss, not much unless it’s really bad, guess I’ll find out tomorrow.