Wisdom from my walk

nothing new….it’s raining, raining and raining some more.  we havent packed like we wanted to these last two days, but we have been busy doing other important things that need done.   I finally got my bloodwork done today, should have results next week.    no contract on the house….guessing the lady’s financing didnt work out…or at least that’s what our agent thinks.  stink…back to square one, goodbye to our dream house….i dont even want to go look at houses this week, it’s pointless since we cant buy til we sell ours.  this could take forever.   the longer it takes the longer Dean is away from us.   I am not in a good mood about this right now…

our realtor got a verbal offer on our home this morning.   that was hours ago and we havent heard any more….we cant really decide until they get back with us.   It’s annoying.  Needless to say we’ve given up on getting our dream home in Ohio, if it’s still available after we get the info on our house selling we will try again to get it but for now we cant.

i had a drs appt today, a follow up to the new medicine I started.  I’ve lost 10 lbs, which we arent sure why, since my thyroid level was fine.  Its frustrating though I had just bought some new jeans for this winter a few weeks ago and one pair is swimming on me now, waste of money.  I can wear them but they keep falling down!

we are supposed to leave for Ohio on wednesday so I can go look at some houses.  we wanted to pack today some but that never happened.  Bo is having serious separation issues, he wants to always be with Dean.  he wont nap.   Dean took him to the dr for this rash he has had, it’s exzema, it bothers him so much he’ll lay in bed scratching and crying!  Dean says he doesnt feel good, I dont feel good.   I was so looking forward to a break once Dean got home, it’s yet to happen.  It’s annoying actually.  before I know it I will be here alone for 2 + weeks w/ the kids until Dean comes back briefly.   fun times!  at least we know our house is going to sell sooner than later so that’s a huge relief!

well gotta run…laundry is calling me…

our realtor called, we are expecting to receive an offer on our home tomorrow.   The other realtor knew ours was out of town til this Friday and was waiting for her to get back into town to talk to her about it.  So they are working on writing up the offer and I told her if we could have it before 4 tomorrow so we could make a more informed decision about our counter offer that is due tomorrow by 4 that that would be great!! so praying that their offer is acceptable to us and that we get enough to maybe still get the house we want in Ohio.

when things are crazy and stresful all around me , I’ve found I’ve been able to not worry so much about the future.   that what’s important right now is these kids God’s blessed me with.  that if all I do is provide for them during this time and as long as at night they are all tucked into bed, clean, fed and contented with a bed to sleep in a roof over their head then that is all that matters.   I could worry about things but why.  I have no control over the stuff going on in my life right now, I’ve freely given over my need for control to the creator of it all.   It’s odd because I never used to be able to do this, to not stress, it’s  either an answer to pray (which would be a miracle that I’ve overcome this attitude in my life) or a result of the new medicine I’m on which may have changed my mindset as well.   I know it’s been one of the two, I’d like to think it’s a God thing, but I dont care, I’m just glad to be free of being so anxious and worried all the time.  Deans noticed the change in me and I think if I hadnt changed I never would have made it these last two weeks.  I thank God for the strength to have made it through and now know I can handle whatever comes.

oh yeah..here’s the lyrics to my new life motto:

Live For Today – Natalie Grant

Genre/Lang. : Christian

Sittin’ in my room staring at the wall
Wonderin’ about the meaning of it all
Why is it this thing called life
Has got me goin’ crazy
So I open up your word and let it speak to me
The purpose and the plan that you’ve designed
Is clear to see, and I believe

(Chorus)
I’m gonna live for today
I’m gonna follow in your way

I’m gonna let my little light shine
Like there’s no tomorrow
I won’t worry about the past
I know my future is intact
So I’ll choose to live my life one way
I’m gonna live it for today

You told me not to worry
About what lies ahead
So I am gonna focus on today instead
Making every moment count and counting
Every single blessing
I’m gonna set my mind on the
Here and the Now
This is what I want my life to be about
And this is How…

Considering we live in the city I’m always suprised by just how many trees we have in our community, very mature trees at that.  On one road in particular that I go down to get out of neighborhood, this past week there’s been an awesome transformation of the trees on that street.   The road is covered w/ orange, brown, red, some green still leaves that have fallen. Above the remaining leaves on the trees look as if a painter has taken to them w/ an array of bright colors.   I tend to do my morning prayers once I am out of the house w/ the kids nestled quietly in their carseats, esp. now w/ Dean gone I”m getting up way before the sun so theres no much quiet time in the mornings elswhere.  So the other day as I was praying and came to that street w/ that beauty nestled between a street filled w/ rowhomes and just a short distance a way a busy road, I was reminded of the same transformation that takes place in spring.  That the weather warms up and suddenly everywhere we look there’s an beautiful display of blooming spring flowers.   In the summer time the weather gets warmer and the sun hotter and while there’s no other “bright” color in the summer per say in nature other than the sun, the weather itself usually is a breath of “fresh air” and everyone is excited it’s summer.   how many people do you know that say as they enter the frost filled morning that they are glad that fall and in turn winter is arriving?  well I love fall.  I love the changing colors, the cool blowing breeze.   Fall time always reminds me of the semester Dean and I spent in PA at college, nearby there was a beautiful park we would go to where you could sit closeby and watch deer run by or just watch them graze and you could see the changing of the leaves all around.   Today as there’s a chill in the air and I know winter is just around the corner I know that soon I’ll be bundling us all up every day, but more importantly winter usually means spending afternoons and evenings nestled warm inside, instead of outside playing as the fall did.  the question is will we be nestled inside beside our new fireplace or elsewhere?   this changing of seasons means more to me this year than changing colors and temps.  It means changing homes, family and friends that surround us.  We’ll be leaving the “warm” comfort of our church community and the “cool breeze” we get when spending a refreshing evening visiting with or playing games with friends.   but what will it be like in our new “season”  of change.   some things around us stay the same, our family is still our family, some will be farther away from us, some closer.  Our friends are still our friends, I thank God for email and internet, which will be my lifesaver as I adjust to being away from my best friends and support system that means the world to me.

but one thing I was reminded of as I drove by and enjoyed the changing scenery, that just like I have favorite things I see everyday around me(people including) that God has new and changing things in our environment that HE changes and in turn we learn to love what He’s done for us.   He has created a masterpeice for us, whether it’s the portrait of the changing leaves here or the picture of our family nestled warmly in our new home enjoying each other.   He knows whats in store for us, HE has handcrafted the plan for our lives.  As we wait for the photo to develop, we anxiously await for what beauty and color the photographer has captured in this new environment.   I know this, that whatever it looks like, we’ll constantly be amazed by his touch in our life.  I thank God for the subtle reminders that he’s in the big and small things in our lives.

Please pray Dean makes it home safely today, his flight leaves at 2:30 or so this afternoon.   Caleb was too excited that for the first time since Dean’s left he said he didnt  want to go to school.   I convinced him we werent doing anything fun today and that if he stayed home the day would seem longer than if he went to school.  in the end seeing his friends was his motivation…a little girl in his class told him she loves him.  on the playground after school none of the boys play w/ caleb, instead all of the girls call and chase after him.  there was one little girl who I thought for sure was the one catching his eye the way he played with her, but then later that day he told me about the other girl.   I think we’re going to be in trouble with this one….must be due to his good looks and big heart…just like his daddy!

we put in an offer on a home in Ohio.   they have to respond by 4 pm tomorrow.   if this works the closing date they told us would be November 1st!!   Move in date would be the next day, the home is currently empty and waiting for someone to buy it!  Our realtor there has talked to the selling agent and thinks the offer should be good, but we wont know til tomorrow.  Keep it in your prayers.  I cant believe this could be happening so soon!! we know that the seller may not accept our offer but the home has only been on the market a short time, but since an identical one just sold quickly we didnt want to waste time in trying to put an offer in on it.   It really is a dream home for me, something I never thought we could afford.  we’re very anxious about it and spent the last few days talking over our options.  Basically since we were thinking of moving the kids and I out there as well soon, either into a townhome or apartment, we figured we mine as well just go ahead and invest that money into a home instead of throwing it away on a rental.   We just have to keep praying our home sells soon…if it goes well the first payment on the new home would be due in December.   we know God will provide if this is what He has for us, we just need the faith to accept whatever happens.   Somewhere out there there is a family looking for a home and ours will the one they choose, we just dont know when they’ll find it!  😉