Dean called the police today to see what we need to do to get our truck back from my father who took it over 2 months ago to get it fixed. They said I would have to press unauthorized use charges. I love my dad no matter if he is a jerk (putting it mildly) and as a Christian I always try to be a good example so he sees that in me. And pressing charges would have ruined it all. So we talked about it and I decided for now I would just go shopping, my defense mechanism. After getting off the phone with Dean, as he began to call my dads employer to prepare them for the cops coming after dad, I answer a knock on the door. My father turns over the keys to the truck and walks away from me. He turned his back on me and yet I called out to him and asked how he was. Yet again I tried. He spared me a few words then strode off. Its hard when you have to teach a parent what it is to love.
Things I would say to my dad if I wasnt the person I am: For too many years I have trusted and loved you despite the continual pain you cause me. I dont even know if you realize how much damage you've done to me in the past and even now. I have tried to have faith that you have indeed changed, as you continue to say you have, yet time and time again you break my heart. This is the last time. There will be no more attempts on my part to let you know that despite your failure as a dad and as a man even, I will still love you. I will continue to love you yet I will no longer accept the pain you cause me. Never again will I fail prey to your hurt. This is it dad, its over. Your are my father, I am your daughter and thats all there is for us. No more Christmas cards, no more letters. No more pain. And for you, I hope this makes you see just what you've become. And I pray to God my son and my brother never become one part the man you are.
So many stores are having so many sales, which one do you decide to go to?? I really want a new slipcover, one to match up to the high quality new furniture we will have in the new house but the furniture was free, a new slip cover wont be. So I am hitting the ridiculous tons of sales going on today and tomorrow in seek of cheapness with quality. Is that possible?
Caleb is starting to hold his bottles on his own. I am guessing he is still pretty young to be doing so but last night and this morning he held his bottle almost for the whole feeding (until he gets distrated) by himself. I am loving it, I mean I know it is supposed to be bonding time and all but I am just ready for him to be eating regular food. Dean is being a stickler and said we wont start him on cereal until he is 4 months old, just another 2 weeks. Which is what the dr told us to do, but still. I guess it will be good to go to his 4 month check up then start it. He always watches us eat our food. Its like he knows we are getting the good stuff!
My job interview went well, so I think. I usually have a good read on these type of things. She said she has one more interview and that she would talk to me tomorrow. The schedule is strange, and so is the office. Its not a regular drs office. Its more like an urgent care, thats what we would call it in ohio. Ok, maybe more like a clinic. No appts - just walk ins, and they do minor emergencies, and they do physical therapy. And the schedule isnt the same every week. And once a month we have to work on Sat & Sunday but that week you only work on Thursday too then the following weekend you get 4 days off in a row. Which means we really wont be leaving Caleb all that much. Since Dean can babysit on weekends. I am not sure if I want it or not, kind of and kind of not, we'll we see what the manager says tomorrow. Ah, it doesnt pay what I really wanted, but it pays more than I made in Ohio so that is at least okay. Not great, but okay.
Caleb slept for 7 hour straight last night! wohoo! Its a good thing he is finally starting to sleep through the night because I have a job interview today. If I get a job I will need my sleep and I guess Dean & I will have to alternate who gets up with him when - seeing as I do it all now. But the job I am going for today is 3-12 hour shifts, so we wouldnt have to leave him everyday, but we still have a problem of needing childcare. But it seems like this is a good job and the way things are going about getting an inteview so fast and all she must be interested in me. So I am excited and also upset with myself for wanting to leave my son with someone else. Question is just who will that be??
Dean & my step dad argued last night so it looks like we will just move into the house this weekend without first doing work to it, just so we can get out of my parents house. I really want to paint but then again if we have all of our stuff out of storage by end of the day saturday then we save $100 this month, which is also worth moving in now.
I never took Caleb to get his pics taken today, car problems still. Problem being Deans truck is still not back and I have no car, which will make the move very interesting. Stupid thing is, my dad took the truck to get it fixed almost 3 months ago! he said a week ago it was fixed and that he would bring it to us, he still hasnt and when asked he wont disclose the location so we can go get it ourselves. Today we havent been able to reach him so who knows. Dean is ready to call the cops and tell them it was stolen, I just want my dad to tell the truth for once in his life. how hard can it be?
Last night, in an attempt to coach Caleb to sleep through the night, I coaxed him back to sleep when I would usually feed him around 4 in the morning. I successfully got him to sleep til 5:30 am which isnt too bad, its a start. Then he ate, then fell back asleep til 9:30 am, I awoke at 9 very awake for once. He's been sleeping on and off lately throughout the day, tiny cat naps. He usually sleeps a lot more in the evening. Sleeps from 7-9 or so then eats then goes to be again. Its not too bad, its been giving Dean & I some time together.
yesterday I attempted to get Caleb back on schedule, but he was so fussy in the afternoon & evening. I kind of think he might be teething, his top gums feel different and he is constantly slobbering. Lately he's had trouble going to sleep and he wakes screaming. Right now he is sitting beside me in his bouncy seat trying to eat the dangling toys! I am going to try to take him to get his pictures taken this week. we went in Ohio , Deans mom made an appt for us, for mid day, and that is not calebs best time of day. So he fussed most of the time. Of course our usual smiley baby was nothing but screams and tears then. So I am hoping to take him earlier in the day, that, and being settled back here should make it easier.
Dean drove by the house we are moving into hopefully this weekend, if the current tenants leave, and well they were still there. They were told to be out by the first, but we are afraid that they will be moving out on the first which will make it hard for us to get in then. I want to paint before we move in, I was hoping to paint Saturday and do some moving Sunday, but we wont know til we go over to the house on Saturday if they are there or not. how frustrating.
well calebs eyes are getting heavy I think I need to put him back in his cradle. Have a good day all!
After getting stuck in the first stop and go traffic, then stopped traffic, Dean & I realized we'd never traveled for Thanksgiving. My mom came to Ohio the last few years. So what was to be an easy 8-9 hour drive to Ohio turned into a horrid 11 hour drive just for some turkey? No not quite. Deans parents are missing us and the baby as we are them, so the trip was worth it, although I didnt think so last night as we drove for 11 1/2 hours with about 3 of it with Caleb screaming at me for what seemed to be no reason than other he was tired and didnt want to sleep in his car seat anymore. We finally got in last night a little before 1, much later than we wanted, poor Dean had to get up for work this morning!
Another good thing this weekend was the last two nights we were there Caleb decided he wanted to sleep 7 hours at night after his last feeding! I was so happy. But last night he was up a lot mostly because the trip threw him off. I am hoping he decides to sleep more tonight too cause I am so tired! And I wasnt even the one driving.
Caleb got a lot of new toys, clothes and blankets this weekend. Three bags full of stuff. Our car was more packed when we left Ohio than when we got there, which also made things hard. We had forgotten to bring our christmas tree w/ us when we orignally moved and I wanted it so that took up a lot of trunk space too.
We got to use our portable pack and play this weekend. Caleb seemed to like it, he slept very well in it. I suspect because he had more room than he does in his cradle to roll around. so I think he'll be in the crib when we move.
All in all the trip was good, despite the actually traveling part. We went out to eat with some friends, and I cried as we left them. I miss them and I know Dean does too. We had wanted to get together with more friends but they were out of town for the holiday.
Today i am planning on doing the fun unpacking and back from traveling laundry, did I mention I am exhausted? And with any luck this time next week I will be sitting in our new house!! Christmas sure is coming early for us this year.
We are heading to Ohio today so forgive me now for not posting for a few days. I am looking forward to getting out and doing stuff. It should be nice. Dean bought me a nice shirt last week and I am hoping to get to be able to go on a date with my husband, assuming the inlaws will babysit. But we will probably be too busy visiting. But I am sure everyone will just want to see the baby and not necessarily us. No matter what it will be nice to be out of this house! I made sure I left our room in tip top shape and removed all of Calebs toys from the other rooms so that my step dad wont have any complaints while we are gone. It sad that we just cant live without constantly watching what we do, only two more weeks to we get our own place! Wohoo!
As I write, Caleb is asleep in the sling. I can type with him, but not well. I've tried washing dishes w/ him in the sling, and its doable, but awkward. Yesterday I was amazed to be able to fold clothes w/ him, although awkward. He likes to sit facing out, w/ his feet scrunched up, mostly because he's nosy! He wants to look at everything. in the baby book we have it says babys that are worn(w/ a sling) develop quicker. It said it helps the baby adapt to the adult world since he gets to be a part of it as his parents go about their daily tasks. I've been trying to hold him in the sling as much as possible, but sometimes its hard, especially since I am still experiening that bad abdominal pain, its been a week since the ER but I am still in pain. I just hope it doesnt make our trip to Ohio to unbearable for me!
I am not looking forward to dealing with Caleb after the trip. After we moved here he was so cranky, it is an awful long trip for a baby, but there's not much of a choice, we cant quite afford airfare right now. Oh well, at least I can look forward to moving in 2 weeks! i'll try to stay positive amidst it all , but for me that is hard. maybe he'll do better now that he is older. But that just means he may be fussier on the way and not sleep as much. Any ideas how to make it easier? (its about a 9 hr drive)
It was a mostly uneventful weekend. We got a lot of great furniture from my aunts boss. Even a set of fine china. My mom just got a new dining room set so we had planned on taking her old one when we moved but the one we got saturday is a cherry set, it comes w/ 5 chairs, and 3 leaves to make it bigger. There was a bedroom set that includes a twin bed(mattress and box sping included), and a matching desk and dresser! There was a hutch that matches the dining room table. And a coffee table w/ end tables, which looked rather expensive too. Aside from furniture we got a new toaster oven and an electric can opener, and tons of other little odds and ends including a set of crystal salt and pepper shakers! Christmas came a little early for us I'd say! I am so excited, I am already mapping out the rooms of the new house with our new and old furniture! Two more weeks. Ironically we now occupy a small bedroom but will soon have a whole 6 bed , 3 bath house!
It's been a much more relaxing day for me today. I am hardly having any pain at all, which is a huge relief. Now only if I werent so tired.
I got a lot done yesterday on Caleb's scrapbook, I am aiming to have it updated completely so that I can take it to Ohio with us next week. I am looking forward to being back there, but not looking forward to the long drive w/ the baby. lately he's been more awake in the car, before he would always fall asleep when in the car. Not to mention if we have to take all of his stuff we arent going to have much room in the car for our own luggage! I think we may just have to leave the stroller behind. I want to take the play pen instead, which will take up some room too. We've yet to use the portable plan pen so it will be nice to have a reason to, it was $120 so I want to get some use out of it. I imagine we will once we move out, I am looking forward to having room for all of Calebs stuff.
I went for a follow up drs appt today with a gyn, he's pretty nice. I like him about as much as I did my last ob/gyn. He said it was most likely a ruptured ovarian cyst and told me to start birth control. I dont really want to but if anything we wont have to worry about having a baby for another 2 years. Since that is how long it took us to get pregnant the first time and that was without birthcontrol so I imagine after stopping birth control it will take us at least that long if not longer to conceive again, but its not like we are thinking of having a baby soon again anyway, I just am worried about whether or not we will be able to have a baby again.
I had my morning all planned out today: go to my 10:30 drs appt, pick up RX if needed, go to Walmart and pick up our developed pics, then grab a ceasar salad ( I seem to still crave them although I am no longer pregnant) for lunch. The morning started out well, Caleb was cheery for most of the morning. He was a little fussy while we waited at the dr. After waiting a while I finally saw the dr, though briefly. She told me to go to the emergency room, to rule out appendicitus. I was very upset and the very thought of being in the hospital again made me cry, let alone the thought of having another major surgery and then having to take care of the baby and recoop. I called my mom to have her leave work to come babysit then I headed to the er, where I waited for nearly 2 hours before being seen. Shortly after I got roomed, Dean showed up.
The two worst parts of the visit were the mini-catheter and iv ( well I had the iv in incase I needed to be hooked up to fluids for surgery. I had to have a pelvic exam and when they touched my right side I cried. I was in so much pain! Good news was they did a pregnancy test, and we're not pregnant. Funny thing was they didnt tell me they were doing one, all I knew was that they needed a urine sample. After blood work was done, I had to drink these two huge glasses of dye so that I could get a cat scan done. But the thing was I had to wait 2 hours after drinking the contrast before having the test. So Dean went home to eat dinner and get Caleb while I tried to nap, although it was very hard to do, I maybe got a 30 minute nap total. The cat scan showed no appendicitus but there was fluid in my pelvis, the dr thinks I had a cyst that burst. I have to follow up with a gyn, thing is I dont have one yet, argh. But the good news is, no surgery! which means I am going to able to get back to taking care of my son, I missed him so much while I was at the hospital. While being carted to the cat scan a man was holding his baby, either the same size or age as Caleb ( as Caleb looks older than he is) , and the very sight made me cry. I was so happy when Dean showed up with my bundle of joy! He smiled and cooed at me as if to ask where I'd been! It was the longest amt of time I've been away from him and it was awful to think I may have had to be in there 3 days! Thank God for answered prays! I am so grateful I have such a loving family to care for me when I am sick!
meanwhile, as I sat in the er, so did my step dad. He runs his own tree trimming business and while working today he got electricuted. Its happened to him before but this is the first time they've kept him overnight. So my mom wasnt able to go be with her husband because she was watching her grandson so her daughter could be at the er too. She is such a strong woman! I know she must have been quite upset today as she waited for word on her loved ones. At least she got some time to spend with Caleb. So I got to come home tonight but my step dad is still at the hospital. WHAT A DAY!!
I created this graphic up there for her! Hope she likes it. I don't know why it's offset like that, maybe one of our graphic friends can help me out.
I admit it, I am a total "bear", to put it nicely, when I am sick. Couple that with having something to worry about while I am sick and you may as well stay far away from me unless you can fix the problem or take the worry away. I have had a rough day, ended up coughing so bad today that I spent most of it hugging the toilet, which made Caleb mad when I had to stop playing with him to be loud in the bathroom. So by the time Dean got home I was ready to hand Caleb off and head to bed, but Stacey called and I fiugred a night out would be good for me, so went to dinner and finally met her new boyfriend Tony(another reason I didnt want to stay home, we hadnt met him yet and I was dying of curiosity!) So all the way to the restaurant I was awfully mean to Dean and i tried to be nice at dinner but I know I probably wasnt. I was at least glad to get out to the craft store after that, I was needing some crafty things to keep me occupied during the day. Then on the way home I got the hiccups which almost made me sick again, I had them for at least a half hour! By the time I got home I was miserable and so was Caleb. But before I can go to bed I have to find the checkbook, tomorrows pay day which means bill paying day, and I lost the darn checkbook. I've turned the house upside down and I still cant find it. I know I will be mad when and if I finally do and discover it was someplace silly all along, but until then I am flipping out over it, which of course Dean does not understand. If anything I'll guess I'll just use the next set of checks in a new box until I find the checkbook but that still leaves me w/out the ledger, argh!!! I hate this. I have been so sick this week I cant remember what I did on what day to even try to retrace my steps for when I last had it. point is, I am grouchy and tired, and I still cant find the darn checkbook!! Thanks for listening to me vent....hopefully tomorrow will be better...if anything I know that tomorrow is Friday which means a day or two off complete sole baby tending, I SO look forward to Dean helping on the weekends. Its not that Calebs a bad baby, its just hard to do it 24/7, at least 24/5 is a little better.
I am still sick, but feeling better, mostly. I spent the day visiting with my brother and his family and my grandparents yesterday. It was really nice, caleb of course was hamming it up and being his usual adorable self.
Not much has been going on lately so I havent had much to write about. I've been so busy trying to take care of myself and Caleb that I've not had much time for anything else. yesterday was the busiest day I've had in awhile, I took care of caleb, of course, made chocolate chip cookies, got a quick shower (thats all caleb allows me to have, a very quick shower), and did laundry, all before my brother arrived at 1 pm. In an attempt to not get out of the shower and immediately deal with a fussy baby, because he somehow always knows when i step foot in the shower, i have started taking him with me. well kind of. I put him in his bouncer and sit him next to the shower to play while I shower so that has helped tremendously, if I dont, even if I leave him when he is asleep to shower, he inevitable wakes before I am done and realizes I am not there. he truly is spoiled, cant imagine why though!
I called about a job today, an ad for a fulltime med receptionist, its only 3 days a week, 12 hours / day, but you have to work every fourth weekend and every 4th holiday. I am going to discuss it with Dean before I fax my resume and I think I'll look some more. I dont have to go back to work, so I can be choosy! Thank goodness. But 3 days a week would be good for day care purposes. We'll see...
Dean made me go to the dr today, he went into work late so he could watch Caleb while I went , he even called to make the appt because I didnt want to. Turns out I was on the verge of an ear infection and have bronchitus, so its a good thing I went. Unfortunately Caleb has started to cough and wheeze some so I had to call his dr, she is supposed to call me back. I really didnt want him to get sick and Dean took care of him most of the weekend in hopes he wouldnt get sick but he still did. Poor little guy, I dont think he's old enough to be given an antibiotic, so we'll see what the dr says.
Early Wednesday morning I woke up congested w/ a horrible sore throat. So it ended up being that I stayed home on Wednesday night and rested. Then I slept most of yesterday until Dean & I went out to a dinner theater to celebrate our anniversary. It was the first time we ever left Caleb, and it was only with my mom so it wasnt too bad, we called to check in 3 times. By the time I got home last night I was feeling a lot worse and now I think Caleb has a bug too, he wont eat. Its either that he's sick or the new formula I switched to yesterday isnt to his liking. So I am going to give him some pedialyte to see if its due to a sore throat or due to the taste of the new formula. with any luck it will just be he doesnt like the formula. So its been a lazy few days, and despite being sick ,my anniversary was great. Thanks honey!