Wisdom from my walk

our house is a kid magnet, and other parents/caregivers dont care.   the neighbor at the end of the street, i.e. you cant see our house from there house that’s how far it is, well the girls grandmom watches them after school.  I had just gotten home from taking the boys to early intervention and saw her grandmom stop out front and drop her and a snack off and drive off.   they didnt ask if I cared if she stayed here to play, I guess they just assume it’s ok.   the other grandmom who watches the twins and their brother across the street brought Caleb home for me today.   they drove up soon after I got home and the kids have been here since.  this happens everyday.  I have my kids and at least 2 others until we kick them out at dinner time.  I dont really mind, but when I’m tired it’s annoying.  not to mention I used to watch kids and get paid for it…these kids eat and drink here and play for hours and what do I get but to hear them complain!  blah!!! oh well, the price of Caleb having friends I suppose.

I hate when the day starts out badly, it’s usually a sign that it’s the beginning of one of “those” days….I didnt make it to the Y this morning…Zeke has had a slight fever, I feel horrible and I couldnt find the darn van keys until it was well past time to be there for class.    Zeke’s asleep again already, Bo is riding his scooter around the house and I’m tempted to fall asleep on the sofa.  Sometime between now and noon I need to shower and feed the kids lunch so I can get them to their early intervention class at 12:30 and then act like I have energy and interest while there then come home and manage all three kids til Dean gets home.  blah…I just want a whole day off…..or at least time to nap some…

My doctors appointment went ok yesterday.  Dean had taken a 1/2 day off so he could watch the kids for me since it was after Caleb got out of school so I didnt want to pay the sitter $15/hour, we agreed I’d pay $10 for up to two kids, but she said if it was ever all three it would $15/hour, and for me to go to the dr that’s absurd so I made Dean take off.   But…he took Zeke to his PT appt and got home after picking up Caleb up from school around 2:50.  my appt was for 3:30.  He thought he could go to his dads work, leaving me w/ all three kids so he could borrow his dad’s new scooter(like a motorcyle but smaller) to drive around the neighborhood, I told him it wasnt a good idea but he didnt listen to me.  he had 20 minutes to go to his dads work and be home so I could leave for the dr.  he got home at 3:22 and I was leaving w/ the kids w/ me.  I let caleb jump out but didnt want to waste any more time getting the other two out of their carseats, so took Bo & Zeke w/ me.  I was 10 minutes late for my appt.  I was beyond mad.   Anyway…the kids did great for me at the drs office thankfully.

the dr said I’m doing great if I can keep exercising as much and she knew just by looking at me that I’d lost weight, which was nice.   she said she knows it will make me more tired now but in the long run it will help me, plus she’s very concerned that I have an enzyme/metabolic disorder as well which is causing the gout and that causes a lot of weight issues itself so losing weight is something I need to do.   so being active and losing weight should help both problems.  she did some labwork and I go back in a month to get it redone since we’re changing my meds some.  trying to figure out the enzyme/metabolic disorder stuff.   I dont need any more problems, so I’m going to keep trying to exercise, but I am so exhausted!!  I napped some yesterday thankfully but then we went out last night to play tennis and that really hurt my arms.  I went to the Y this morning and i was already dragging so w/ the heat and the busy day I am dreading the late afternoon. hopefully it will be quiet around here.      I so wish I could lay down but bo wont nap and I have to wake Zeke up soon so he can eat then head to get Bo to PT to get fitted for his orthotics.  everyday it’s something!   the only day I dont have anything other than exercise scheduled is Friday this week.     no wonder I”m so tired!!  😉

I’m glad to say I have a sinus infection, mostly because that means my dr gave me an antibiotic plus some really good prescription cough suppresant stuff.   Tonight I vegged out during Caleb’s last soccer game, but luckily didnt miss him scoring his first goal!!  of course tonight he played his best and it’s the last game of the season!   I made a soccer cake to take to the banquet after the game, the initial flyer about it said bring a dessert to share, I forgot to take a knife and apparently was the only person to bring a dessert so we brought the cake home since there was no silverware where we were, they had just ordered pizzas so I guess they thought we wouldnt need knives or forks?!?  so we came home and invited our neighbor over for cake.  There’s twin girls who Caleb plays with all of the time, one is in his class the other is in the other kindergarten class at his school, they split them up(probably a good idea!)    Their parents are divorced so just the mom lives on our street, ironically the dad lives around the corner and she says they still date sometimes!   Anyway….we’re trying to connect w/ them, the girls love Caleb, and he them, and their mom and I always seem to have something to talk about!  it’s kind of nice…so tonight they all came over for cake and they brought the ice cream, so we had a late snack together then parted ways so the kids could get to bed.    they have an older brother(the twins) but he was out at a friends.     I hate feeling like i need to try so hard to make friends, but I SOOOO need a friend now and she lives so close it would be great if we could become good friends.   not to mention it helps that our kids like each other so much!

I need to get to bed. the dr told me I need to try and rest for the next few days…blah…as if I havent been saying that for days….but now I can use the excuse that the dr told me that i need to if I want to get Dean to take over w/ the kids….tomorrow is set to be busy though, so I dont know how much rest I’ll actually get!  if anything the meds should help some!

I’ve got a sore throat and I didnt go to the Y today. Dean keep saying I need to cut back on doing so much, I only agreed today because my instructor was going to be out and we were going to do the same workout we did yesterday, she taped it.   she helps motivate me and w/out her actually there I didnt think I”d be as motivated.   Plus, i feel horrible.  I have a drs appt later today hoping I can get some medicine to help me feel better.  I also have a drs appt. on Monday w/ the specialist.   Tomorrow we’re hosting a game day/night at our house.  I want to feel better for that so that’s why I gave in and called the dr, plus my throat really hurts!!  and has for a week now.

so I’ve been home doing stuff that has needed to get done but hasnt because I’ve been too busy w/the kids running here there and everywhere.  bo and zeke have liked being home today.  right now they are playing out back.   I’ve probably done as much as I would burning calorie was because I’ve been going up and down the steps all day and cleaning and doing laundry.   not to mention trying to keep up w/ the kids.  I so wish Dean could come home, he didnt even come home for lunch today.  I was at least hoping he’d come home at lunch time and I could get a little nap.  but his work keeps having these Friday special events.  Today it’s a cookout and cornhole competition….so I am home sick doing tons of stuff while he gets free lunch and fun stuff to do, plus adult interaction…..blah on him….at least it’s Friday

I still need to sleep…trying to convince Dean to come home early.  luckily after all of our running this morning both boys fell asleep in the car and I managed to get them in bed and slept a little myself.  our neighbor brought caleb home and he is still playing there, sadly though the other two kids woke up…..I keep telling myself I can do this…but I’m so exhausted.  it’s so darn annoying.    I dont feel so bad right after I exercise.  it was as I was driving from the Y to moms group that the exhaustion hit me today and it hasnt left.

I talked to the lady at church to tell her I wont be able to volunteer for a little while because of this ridiculous fatigue.  I hate this.  I want to be able to do normal things and be able to exercise.   most of all I want not to make Dean feel burdened but I dont see anyway around that right now.

I think we’re eating dinner out or ordering in, I for sure am falling asleep as soon as deaner gets home….

I didnt refill my one pills, muscle relaxers because I was hoping to be able to do w/out them.  the first night was fine, the dr prescribed them to help me sleep better.  Last night I was up most of the night off and on though.   So I am going to get them filled today.  Right now as always this time of day I can barely keep my eyes open.  I’ve had trouble this time of day because of that and because I need to figure out how to start dinner w/ Bo and caleb playing outside unsupervised.  Last week I started implementing a new rule, depending on how long dinner prep would take, we either come in at 4:30 or 4:45 from playing.  the boys have to do something quiet.  today bo and caleb sat at the kitchen table and painted while I started dinner.   caleb has had a big problem lately transitioning from outside play w/ his friends to coming in, he used to throw a fit everytime it was time to come in(He literally used to scream and cry like a baby when he had to come in) So now w/ this new system I start giving him a 15 minute warning, 10 minute warning and 5 minute warning.    today he did super.  He came in, painted, cleaned up when I asked him to and then sat down quietly and watched tv, Bo even sat and joined him, and BO never watched tv.   My efforts are working out, it’s nice to know they are adjusting to the new rules.

It’s amazing how much trying to have more structure is helping the kids.  Zeke is walking like I cant believe, neither could his therapist or the social worker today at early intervention.   bo is doing better too with talking.  the early intervention teacher today said he can hear that Bo has problems w/ saying things, but he also said I was doing a good job with the kids.  He asked if I was a teacher or had been, I said only at a daycare, and he said I act so natural w/ the kids and do and say all of the right things with them.  it’s not the first time Ive been told this by someone like this, and it feels good to know I”m doing a good job..I wish I had the energy to do it all of the time and then maybe the kids wouldnt need early intervention services.

well I need to go finish dinner and get things wrapped up so we can eat.