Wisdom from my walk

I  was able to sleep in today, til way past 11 a.m.  Dean got up and took the boys to the zoo all by himself.  I was very suprised in fact that he managed it for as long as he did, they came home for lunch and everyone but Caleb and I napped.   I spent most of my day reading the newest Harry Potter.  I finished it this evening, not too bad, I think I started and finished it in 3 days – not bad for a 700+ page book considering in those 3 days I had a birthday cake to make and a party to prep for!

we went to church this evening so all of our day is free tomorrow.  But Boaz threw up halfway through and when I went to get him Zeke saw me so I ended up taking them both with me and got Dean to take bo since he wanted daddy not me and I hung out w/ Zeke so it was a waste of going, for us at least. Caleb’s friends, the twins across the street, went with us and they really seemed to like it.  their mom said she’ll go w/ us next week, I might try to hold her to that!  except next week is our tech week so we’ll be there for every service and wouldnt be able to sit w/ her.   So I guess at least it was good for them.

My favorite part of the night(other then just finishing reading HP) was at church when a woman I see around a lot at church asked me if I was “amy mckenzie” I said yes, and thought maybe it was something about the kids, and well I guess it kind of was…she had found my blog and flickr pics and said she’s praying for me.   I love how going to a mega church can still feel so much like home!   I saw lots of friends tonight, which as I’ve said before always amazes me, how out of 4 different options of service times we always manage to see people we know out of the masses!   It was nice to meet you if you’re reading, and before I had to go get Bo and was sitting in the service I realized where else I remembered her from, she is another one of the clowns at church.  no I mean that in a good way, she’s really a clown!    🙂

I’m definitely getting more connected, and quickly now that I’m on the moms group leadership team.   I’m anxiously awaiting when the school season starts and so does our regular schedule for moms meetings, right now we’re just doing playdates for the summer.

So tomorrow we have tenative plans to have friends over, can you consider someone a friend who’ve you just met and just know via their blog, well when you’re desperate for friends like me, well I will call them friends!   but they have had a stomach bug this week and now that Bo’s thrown up twice today…I’m thinking we might have to postpone.  Bo has been sick for about a month now.  first w/ roseola, then the sinus infection, he just finished his antibiotics a day ago and now he’s throwing up.   Poor child, sad to say he and Zeke have my crappy immune system, or lack of immune system it seems.   I cant wait to see what the school season brings w/ it in terms of sicknesses once Caleb starts bringing home more germs !

Caleb’s cake.  the big yellow blob is supposed to be “6”  I bought a cake pan for that and it didnt come out right.   that one is actually made out of cookie dough that I baked in the 6 pan, it was sturdier than the one made out of cake.    Bo put his finger in the six today, so thats why the one music note is up against the 6, to cover the fingerprint!  :-)     I am disappointed w/ the cake, I could have ordered one and it have looked better possibly, at least I know it will taste good! and Caleb likes it so that is really all that matters to me!

Oh my goodness, I just had to raise my voice to the kid who has been spending too much time at our house.  When I put Zeke down for nap I told him he had to leave, that it was going to be quiet time at our house and that he needed to go.  Caleb and Bo can play quietly but it’s going to be quiet gosh darn it!  I know they wont nap and I dont expect that but I cant keep up w/ other peoples kids all of the time, he is teaching Bo and Caleb things I dont approve of as is.  So he just came back over and I told him to leave and he told me “well it’s Calebs birthday he can choose”  I said no it’s time for a break from friends you need to leave.  He still wouldnt go.   then he came to me and said well Calebs 6 he doesnt need quiet time.  it was at that point I had had it.   I told him I know how old caleb is and I make the rules and that he needed to leave.  we are having quiet time away from friends.  he stormed out and slammed the door.   freaking kids.   how dare he tell me what Caleb can and cant do.   Caleb ended up telling him to go as well and said it’s my house and my mom said it’s time for you to leave and he still wouldnt go, it wasnt til I raised my voice that he decided he was done arguing w/ me.   this kid has been trying my patience all week.

I try to have quiet time for us from 4:30 til dean get home, which is between 5 and 5:30 pending how busy he is.    but today I wanted them to rest now and have some quiet so Zeke could nap so when he wakes up we can go to the pool til Dean gets home, hopefully a little early.    so usually it’s later in the day and I make all the kids that dont live here go away.   I cant believe he’s been here so much today, I fed him lunch even and I’m the one hosting a birthday party tonight and he’s got both parents at home to keep him busy.   (his dad is a teacher and is off for the summer)  I’m here by myself w/ three kids as is, then this kid thinks he can stay here all day too.   bah…I am trying to nice about it, I dont really mind but when he’s teaching the boys things I dont approve of and disrepects our rules, well that’s just about too much for me to take in addition to all the other stuff in my life.

anyway…this was supposed to be a light hearted post…maybe later on this weekend when I’ve had some rest that will happen!  a few more pics up at Flickr.

well I was surprise a dr actually called me back today!  sadly that dr is calling me in a prescription for indocin.  last time I took that I was on it for way too long and ended up having to stop because it was making me sick.   Although I couldn’t remember why I had stopped taking it, so I told the nurse who called the pharmacy number and asked that they still leave a message for my dr for when she comes in on Monday.  I probably wont get the prescription filled because I dont want to start taking it again, it took going back and reading my blog to remember why I had stopped taking it!

yeah…a break in the heatwave! we are actually able to go out and play outside w/out melting right away! 🙂 the boys are glad to be outside. I’m glad to be done the chores for party prep. Just need to finish up some laundry since I washed everyone sheets today but other than that hoping to just chill out the rest of the day. Now if we could just get rid of the mosquitoes in our backyard…we actually got a mosquito deleter or something like that off of craigslist for free, just need to figure out how to work it, that and its in Dean’s car which is at work. If the bugs werent bothering I’d probably hang out here longer today. doh..the boys just squirted me w/ the house…not good for the laptop…gotta go discipline some kids.

oh yeah…I got bandanas for the dogs. they look so cute and they were really cheap.    We also got a stake and this heavy duty dog leash thing to put on it so Shea can be attached to it and not break it. we kept tying a leash around the playground set and she kept running off and breaking the leash.  this is designed for big strong dogs and is 30 ft long or osmething so she can run around the yard w/out escaping.   she loves to be outside.  yesterday even in the 106 degree weather she wanted to come out, ,I came out w/ her and she didnt even pee or anything she just wanted to be outside.   well i really need to get…the hose issue was done with then bo got me again.  darn kid….

So I waited til my gout pain was unbearable again to call the dr, which is this morning.  guess what? she’s out of the office til Monday.  doh!   the nurse said she’ll have another dr take the message today, but I dont even know what I’d expect my dr to do let alone a dr who doesnt know my miserable history or medicine intolerance or the fact if my body doesnt react badly to meds it usually doesnt help me.     so I’m guessing no relief til my dr is back, unless the dr today calls my regular dr to get her advice.

my big boy is 6 today!! he’s driving me crazy already this morning.  He wanted to go outside to bother his friends before 9 am, and I know most of his friends arent even out of bed yet.   I told him about the playdate I had planned to go to and he said he doesnt want to go.  I dont blame him it is his birthday but I was looking forward to it.  not sure we’ll go anyway since every step I take hurts so badly.  the pool doesnt open til 2 today so what do we do til then?

well the cake is done.  not too great looking but done nonetheless.  the kids went to hang out w/ their grandparents tonight so Dean and I could have dinner together quietly and talk about some issues we’re having, mostly my feeling bad affecting everything in our life, our relationship, our finances, our kids.  blah blah blah.   then we went to Walmart so I could avoid a trip there tomorrow w/ all three kids.   there’s a playdate I’m hoping to go to if I’m up for it and the if the boys cooperate.   then hoping to go to the pool in the afternoon then tomorrow night we’re celebrating Caleb’s birthday.   I cant believe he’s going to be 6.  the years have flown by.   I’m sure I’ll get pics up of the birthday boy sometime this weekend.

I so want this day to end.

couldnt get an edible image made for High school musical, it’s a licensed trademark blah blah blah.   took caleb w/ me to the cake store….he’s happy w/ what we’re going to do…i’m baking it now.  hoping to decorate it tonight.   I hurt my arm somehow and it’s been hurting so bad all day…not good for doing the cake but oh well.  trying to make it a simple design since no ones really coming anyway, just family.

theres a lot of other crap going on and I am just sick of my life.   I’m expected to do things that put me way past my ability health wise and all everyone wants to do is judge me for being a crappy mom when I’m doing the best I can.  whatever.   I just wish people would understand how hard it is to take care of 3 kids when you have a chronic fatigue and pain condition that isnt responding to meds.   I dont even care if they understand, I just wish they’d stop judging me, esp. since I do a damn good job, better than some moms out there and they dont even have 3 kids and bad health.  blah.   ironically the boys early intervention teacher keeps commending me for how good I do w/ the kids and said other moms in the group have told asked him how I manage 3 kids as well as I do, and they dont even know I have health problems, they’d really be proud of me..sadly my own family, hubby included doesnt even realize how well I’m doing considering the things I face every day.    heck getting out of bed is a battle and here it is more than halfway through the day and I’ve gotten a ton accomplished and I left him for a few hours last night and had to deal w/ his crap mess because he couldnt handle the kids alone for that little bit of time.    ok..just not a good day.week month whatever.