Wisdom from my walk

I just filled up the van for $50, $2.67 a gallon, it’s a poor gals dream come true!!

My foot surgery is next Friday, Oct. 17th at 1p.m.

less than month til my hysterectomy on Nov. 11th at 7 a.m.

wohoo! three surgeries in 3 months!!  way to go me!!

So it seems I didn’t really explain why the sudden need for foot surgery!   And no this has nothing to do w/ the puncture wound way back when or anything…..so right before I found out I was pregnant w/ Zeke I was diagnosed w/ gout.   Eventually I was put on a preventive medicine for this since my uric acid level wouldn’t stay normal w/out it.    But….despite the meds I started to develop a bone spur and arthritis where the gout was in my big toe.  I’ve had this pain off and on since that first diagnosis of gout.   So this summer after the foot injury from the toy(Puncture wound on the bottom of my foot) the pain in my big toe got worse.   After doing an x-ray and seeing the arthritis and bone spur she sent me to a podiatrist. I got a cortisone injection and he eventually did another x-ray which showed that the first bone spur had broken off at some point and was just hanging out in my toe.  A new bone spur had replaced the old one and there was wearing away of the joint from arthritis.   After seeing this x-ray the podiatrist said it needs surgery.   I have known this since June or July.    We decided we couldn’t do it w/ the kids so young and he said we’d do cortisone shots as much as he could, but that they only do 2 or 3 tops for a years time but that w/ the broken off bone spur the shot wouldn’t relieve all of the pain.   So we were just hoping it would go away and I’d have the surgery when it got unbearable and the kids were older.

Then….w/ the changing of the weather I started wearing regular “closed” shoes instead of sandals and my foot has gotten worse, a lot worse.   w/ the back pain and fatigue of late I didnt really complain about it that often, but it hurt daily.   Finally it got the best of me and I noticed it looked worse than normal too so I made an appointment to see the doctor, knowing that it meant a shot and discussing surgery again.

so that brings us to this week.  I talked to the gyn today and he said as long as I’m on crutches and am able to move around he is ok w/ doing it before but if after it will need to be a good 4 weeks after the hysto. to make sure I am not immobile so soon after that surgery.   (trying to avoid blood clots!)

So tomorrow I find out if we can get this scheduled before the hysterectomy and take it from there.    Sorry if I wasnt clear before about why I needed surgery and why it seems I’m rushing it now.   I’ve been in pain from it but figured it would go away, but the dr yesterday said the change of seasons is always the true test and if I couldnt take the pain now it wasnt going to get any better but he was always leaving the when of surgery up to me but did say he’s done them in close proximity to other surgeries so that the recovery times are lapsed.    it makes sense to me, who knows if it’s the best decision but I’m all for getting these done w/ so I can be healed up and ready for a new year!

I just am anxious to be pain free and the sooner the better!   With any luck I will spend my 30th b/day in January celebrated being recovered and off to a great start to the year and weight loss!

Saw the podiatrist yesterday, got another cortisone injection in my toe.  today it hurts horribly.  It didnt hurt like this last time.  We talked about the surgery for my two bone spurs, and the possibility of having it done to mesh the hysterectomy recovery w/ this one so I get it all done.  he was fine with it but wanted me to check w/ the gyn.   I talked to him today and he said he wants me mobile, but that being on crutches would satisfy him.  So we may do the foot thing first, as early as next Friday!!   then it’s two weeks no weight bearing then crutches I think, or right away crutches?  I dont know!   he compared the recovery as being similar to a broken bone, 6-8 weeks.  I was afraid to do it after the hysterectomy because I dont want to have to be sedentary again since being mobile after the hysto. will make the recovery quicker, I know this from the c-sections and having heard so from others online who have had hysterctomies.

I am anxious to get this all done w/ so the sooner the better and I’m sure I’ll be fine.  Anything is better than hobbling around in pain like I am today and not knowing when it will be over!

With any hope by my 30th birthday in January I’ll be doing sooo much better!!   but I’m already sleeping tons better, so that will help w/ the recoveries too.   So pray that we can get the surgery soon and I am well enough for the hysterectomy which is in about 5 weeks or so.

Bo had his follow up ENT appointment yesterday.   Dean went with him which was a nice break for me!  Since he still has fluid in his ears she says he needs another set of tubes and to get his adenoids out.   Not sure when we will do this, we’re almost maxed out on our flex. spending and I’ve got one maybe two surgeries before the year is up.  The plus is that Dean still has sick and vacation time to use!

The hope after his surgery though is that he will be able to hear again and his speech will continue to improve.  The hope after my surgeries is that I”ll get my life back, eventually after all the recovery time.

Until then, it’s just one day at at time.

So today, I went to the foot dr and got another cortisone shot and we discussed the surgery again.  He is game doing it after the hysterectomy but wants the gyn. to tell us when he feels like it would be safest for him to do it, so I’ve got a call in to them and pending what they say we’ll schedule my foot surgery since it’s not getting any better.

We  sponsor a girl through world vision and we had received an email saying they needed volunteers to man a booth at an upcoming concert.  I was excited about going and serving and attending the concert for free, it was Big Daddy Weave,  Jayson Gray, and Rush of Fools(  I really like them)  Soo… Dean’s parents came over tonight and Dean and I went to the concert.  There were a lot more volunteers than needed and we went to watch the first half of the concert and were going to relieve  those who had been at the table when we needed to.  A few songs into the second band Dean walked out to answer his cell phone, and came back  and waved me to follow.  He told me the neighbors dog ( who had attacked B0) had attacked Caleb.  we were 40 minutes away and I was immediately in tears.   There was nothing we could do but rush home and hope he was ok.  He was, just a small puncture wound.   Luckily this time there were witnesses, in fact the dog’s owner, the twins who’s b/day party we attended yesterday( the one where we left to take Zeke to the ER) , saw what happened and called 911.   In fact, it happened in their home, where the dog resides.  So this was not an incident where the dog was provoked or that the dog got out of the house or yard, it just attacked for no reason.

I was too upset to look at or even talk to said dog owner, I am done putting up w/ her irresponsibility, in regards to her dog and her kids, but that’s another matter entirely….so Dean, her and the police man talked and we had what we thought was an agreement, that tomorrow the dog would be gone.   But after everyone left the cop called back to say that the SPCA wouldn’t take the dog but that it had to be in quarantine for 10 days, but it would be doing this in the owners house.   So it’s not allowed out of the house at all, not even to use the bathroom.   IF we see it out we call the cops.   we did not press any charges, we just filed a report, because again we are trying to be nice.   We agreed as long as the dog is gone that is fine w/ us, but now the dog is not gone, and wont be for at least 10 days.  I was pissed, big time.   We called the SPCA ourselves, knowing that we have been unable to care for a pet before and taken it to the SPCA I didn’t see why she couldn’t just go do the same w/ this dog, so it’s at least not around kids.   our house and the house right next door to where the dog is has a toddler, luckily so far the kids attacked have been big enough that no major damage was done, if the dog got a hold of Zeke or my friends son the same would not be true.

So we called the cop back and want the dog to be boarded elsewhere for the 10 days, Dean says it cant be put down until after that time to make sure the dog doesn’t have rabies.   I don’t care where the dog is, I don’t want it here.  We’re waiting to hear what is going to happen.   If it was my dog and it attacked two kids, once in my own house unprovoked and I had access to a gun I’d put it down myself.   The owner in question does have access to this , her ex who is around all of the time is  a cop himself who always seems to have his holster exposed, which I think is wrong as well, but again, another issue w/ this family…..

we are lucky that neither Caleb this time or Bo last time was seriously hurt, it could have been a lot worse.  I accept that and am grateful that they are safe.  BUT they have both been emotionally damaged each time, Caleb has said all he wants is to be able to play with his friends and be safe.    For a long time Bo wouldn’t go outside because he was afraid of the dog.   I know I am pissed and I will get over it, but I want the dog gone.  I am mad at myself for being “nice” and not pressing charges or filing a police report when Bo was hurt.   It would have helped now.  That’s the problem.  everyone has been so nice to this family, we all try to help her because she’s a single mom and works so when the dog escapes and she’s not home we do what we can to get her in or call her to tell her to send someone to put her in.    NO ONE has ever called the police , but when it was our dog that was out running around and wouldnt hurt a fly the police got called twice….why the difference?? I take care of my kids and my dog and she doesnt do either and everyone is being nice and tolerant and what does it get us, two kids attacked by her viscious dog.  I am pissed.  I am mad that life is unfair.  this week has sucked in so many ways and now this.

I just wanted to go enjoy an evening out and was doing so and thinking maybe this week would be better, then one phone call changes everything.  Why do these things always happen to us?   I admit I’m getting bitter and angry….I’m sick of my life being so ridiculously interesting and hurtful.  I want to have joy and peace.   I want to be happy not stressed all of the time.

ugh, and the weekend is over, a busy week ahead.    All I want to do is the lock the doors up so the kids cant get out and get hurt and all cuddle into our nice warm comfy bed and never leave.    EVER……

yesterday sucked in so many ways, but nothing is as bad as watching a dr, a nurse ( I guess that’s what he was?!) and your husband hold down your toddler to clean his wound and apply durabond!   That was today…we went to a birthday party at the Y and everyone had gotten out of the pool fromswimming to go to eat pizza and Zeke was standing right in front of me and the next thing I knew he was face down on the hard tile floor.  There was blood that I assumed was from his mouth, almost anytime  a kid falls there mouth bleeds if they hit their face, or so is my experience, but then I realized the blood wasnt coming from his mouth, it was his chin.  He had a nice cut and it feels like it took forever for us to get changed into dry clothes and in the car to the ER.  Zeke was still in just a diaper when I was registering him at the ER desk.  We were out in about an hour, and I am glad it went as well as it did, but I was a teary mess!  He’s perking up now though, he kept crying saying he wanted Bo, we had left Bo and Caleb at the party w/ a friend.  So I guess the point is, I may have had a bad day yesterday but who knows what tomorrow holds….overall it’s been a better day, but my poor heart was broken for my sad hurt little boy!

BUT the big boys had lots of fun….