Wisdom from my walk

Well about our weekend. We spent the weekend at our friends parents house on Buckeye Lake. I had wanted to stay at a hotel on Friday just because I thought it would be nice to get away but they would hear nothing of it so we stayed with them in a beautiful house that Melissa’s dad designed and built himself right off of an inlet of the lake. I was thrilled about having a chance to wear my new bathing suit but the weather didn’t cooperate and luckily , unlike when I forgot to take warm clothes camping, this time I had a pair of jeans and a jacket. So we spent most of the weekend indulgiing in nice homemade meals and tons of junk food, all sugar free of course, except that one brownie I stole while no one was watching. Then the rest of the time we played games and Dean and I spent a lot of time cuddling and talking to the baby.

Dean was so sweet this weekend, being so protective of “us” and always rubbing my belly and talking to Kiddo. I dont know if he knows how concerned I am about those test results we got last week, and I cant tell if he even realizes how big of a deal it is. I never can tell how he feels unless I ask him and then he tells me it’s nothing to worry about. But even so I think these are things we should be worried about, so instead of worrying about that I have decided to worry about painting, which is another thing Dean doesnt seem too concerned with and actually he is oppposed to it as we will be moving a few months after the baby comes.

But about our weekend…..so we were lazy all day Saturday and were going to leave on Saturday night so that we didnt interfere with their mothers day but they again insisted we stay and drive the 2 hour return trip in the morning so we spent the evening playing cards and munching. We all turned in kind of early and were awakened to a much nicer and walmer Sunday. So we had breakfast together then headed out to meet Dean’s parents at Old Country Buffet by 1:30 and we were even early considering we stopped on the way to see the Longenberger basket building, Dean’s favorite part of the weekend, and I am being serious here. So we spent the rest of Sunday continuing to be lazy and we were so exhausted you would have thought we worked hard all weekend, but I think the 2 hour drive made us weary, that and all that good food. So it was nice, even though we never went out on the boat or got to fly Dean’s kite for real, but I think it was good for us. We needed a break only to work hard all week and then I am going to put everyone I can find to work painting the baby’s room next weekend, just because I feel like I should. So it was fun. I am sure Dean will have pics up soon.

Well, I was asked to produce Into the Woods for Mason Community Players this summer. And I was thrilled to be asked but now I feel so horrible because I am not going to be able to do it. Today I came home from work and couldnt even eat dinner because I was so tired. Dean got on me and told me that I needed to make calls about the show but I couldnt keep my eyes open, it was a wonder I made it home w/out getting into an accident. So, I crawled into bed and slept for a few hours, but I really only thought I would sleep for a little bit and wake up feeling better but I must have been out of it. And this is how it has been, no doubt because of the anemia, but nonetheless I can’t help but feeling as though I am letting everyone down by not being able to do the show, and I really want to work on it but I emailed one of the girls tonight about resigning from producing. Of course I blamed it on my health but I cant imagine it is a good thing for me to be so stressed about it on top of all the other stuff going on right now with my health. So I am sure Dean will be very upset with me for not going through with my job but I think I made a good decision and I probably never should have agreed to take the position considering the show opens less than a month before my due date and ends 2 weeks before my due date. And now with the possible diabetes chances are if I do have diabetes that the baby will be born before the due date anyway. So here I sit convincing myself I am not a loser just a concerned mother, but I keep hearing Dean in my head and I am sure what I think he wil say is nothing compared to what he will say. Oh well. I guess all that matters is how I feel and I think resigning from the position when I still can is best as opposed to holding on to a job I cant do when there are others capable of doing it well. So now I think I will go back to bed because I am still soooo tired!

I just got a call from my ob’s office. They sure like me here lately. Okay , I had my blood drawn yesterday for my glucose test and they said they would know by Monday at the earliest or Tuesday. So she calls today and I assumed it was to check to see if I had scheduled to have my RhoGam shot, but no, her first remark was we got your blood test back. Which was bad to begin with because yesterday she said that no news is good news, meaning if they dont call me then I am fine and if they do call me there is a problem. She then says my iron is very low and I need a supplement, thus my fatigue problem. So that is fine, but worries me because of mom’s thryoid problems and I know I’ve been tested for that prior to the baby but maybe the baby is draining what little iron I have even with the prenatals it’s not enough. So, I assumed then that that was all she was calling for. But blow # 2, your sugar was very high. Doh! Now I need to get that dreaded 3 hour fasting sugar test. I’ve had that done before, pre-baby, and it was quite nasty. Not to mention you have to sit there all that time just waiting. Strange thing is Kiddo was quite nornal yesterday, not too much more active then usual. So who knows. I am just hoping Kiddo’s recent lack in energy isnt because of my low iron or high sugar. And to think I have been feeling so much better lately. Oh well. I guess this pregnancy was just getting a little too normal for Kiddo and he decided to kick it up a notch, and BAM!

Our drs’ appt went well yesterday; except that I’ve gained 9 lbs since my visit a month ago! I guess it is a good thing I lost all of that weight in the beginning or I would be huge, but it also explains why I am so big all of the sudden. The baby’s heartbeat sounded good. And he said he wants me back in 3 weeks, which scares me because I know that the closer you get to having the baby the closer together your appts get with the ob. So, I guess this is it, heading in for the homestretch here soon, just a few more months. This heat is killing me already though. I feel like I need a shower fifty times a day because it is so hot and I feel so hot and sweaty all of the time. Yuck! I guess we could turn on the ac but that would just mean downstairs gets cold and the upstairs still stays hot so we just opt to leave it off for sake of saving a few bucks. But so far everything looks good.

And I am feeling good, except after going to look for a bathing suit yesterday my self esteem is a little down but oh well I am supposed to get bigger and plus Dean thinks the new bathing suit is cute which is all that really matters. So today I get to rest and pack for a weekend get away, ok , it wont be too romantic seeing as we will be staying with friends at their parents house but we are going to go boating and Dean may water ski so it looks to be a great time! Not to mention free! And I am all about free fun. Just hopefully it wont be too hot and uncomfortable and if it is I will just jump in for a swim now that I am equipped with my cute swimsuit.

Hey Kiddo! I sit here thinking that as I prepare to drink this nasty orange drink for my glucose test that you have no clue what is about to happen. And that based on the amount of sugar I am about to ingest that you will be on a high for the rest of the day. Please be kind to me and don’t kick too much. I did not decide okay today I will eat all the junk food I want it’s just that the dr, the one who tries so hard to make sure you are safe, has thought it a good idea to fill us up on sugar to see how my body likes it. No doubt this will make you super active so please remember, this wasn’t my idea and be nice to mommy today! I think Daddy like going to the dr with me so he can hear hsi favorite noise, the swoosh, swoosh of your heart. I think it helps him know you are really there, but I think it will be more fun for him once he gets to really see and feel you. Well here’s to an orange high for Caleb……and a gross breakfast for mommy!

Just a warning….. I may or may not be alive after Dean comes home and sees what I have done, or rather what I had done. I have been threatening him for weeks that I would go and do it, and well today I broke down and did it. I went and got a haircut. Now most people would ask why does it matter so much. Well, Dean kept telling me to not get it cut until the baby comes hoping that if I waited that long to cut it that I just wouldnt seeing as this is the longest my hair has been since early high school. But as the heat gets worse, I just couldnt cope with it. Not to mention by the time I get up, shower and blow dry my hair every morning I am ready to go back to bed. So in an attempt to spare myself some energy and sanity I went and got it chopped off. It’s not as short as it was when Dean and I first go together so he shoudlnt be too angry but I think the fact that I did it anyway will still frustrate him. But then again I didnt complain too much when he dyed his hair cranberry, or whatever shade of red that was. Funny thing is I am soo happy I got it cut I really dont care what he says, but then again I know that once he gets home I will be so self-concious, I just hope he doesnt hate it. And if he does, well I will remind him of what he always tells me, it is just hair it will grow back. But honestly I think I look cute and I suppose that is all that matters, but unfortunately I also think what Dean will think matters too. I was about due for a good beating anyway, so if I’m lucky……………..