Wisdom from my walk

Today at work the girls were talking about when they were pregnant. It started by them once again telling me how big I am getting. They repeatedly say, you sure are getting big all of the sudden. So today they were getting on me about it and asked what the name was we picked out, even though I have told them several times, and I told them that for now I just refer to him as Kiddo, and it’s mostly “hey kiddo, stop kicking me!” So they all started telling me about the times when their babies would get settled up against their ribs and stay there. And then Linda said one time the baby stretched out completely and her whole belly flattened. And I just sat their thinking, one day I will be able to tell stories like that too. But for now the baby is still kicking me and staying low, below or at the area around my belly button.

So tonight as I was sitting down to rest after touching up the paint on the bathroom, I noticed a strange feeling. It was like my whole stomach flipped or something, but this time it was higher up, above my bellow button. So I thought maybe it was just my imagination because I hadn’t felt him move up but apparently that huge flip I felt was him moving up further. So for the next 15 minutes I watched my stomach move and jump all sorts of ways. But this time it was in a different spot, and since it was higher up I just sat there watching and being amazed at how different the kicks and moves felt from when he had been lower. And I almost cried. It was so strange how just earlier I was thinking that maybe he should be moving up higher soon and sure enough tonight he did. I mean my mid section has gotten huge lately and I was so worried because I was getting fat there and the baby wasn’t even occupying that space. But now, all that room is being taken up by Kiddo. So I dont feel so bad. I can’t help but wonder maybe if before maybe his legs were just lower and now his head is down or something. Who knows. I think about it too much. But the sensations were so new and exciting this evening. I was tempted to call Dean on the directors cell phone to share with him this news seeing as I know he will take great delight in watching the baby move this evening.

Yesterday Dean had read online that right about now the baby can detect light changes. And it said that if you shine a flashlight on your belly you can see/feel the baby move towards or look at the light. So of course Dean wanted to see. So sure enough last night he gets out the light, turns off the lights, and plays with Kiddo. And wouldnt you know it, Kiddo actually kicked and you could see my belly shift as he moved about when Dean shone the light towards him. Dean got such a kick out of it, and well I literally did too! I think it helps him know the baby is really there when he sees my belly move like that. For me it is just awesome until I start to think about the fact that Kiddo will shortly be out of me which scares me because I dont just know how that is going to go, the whole delivery thing, and well I’d rather just not think about it. I guess my theory is, it has to happen sometime so why worry about. It is kind of like knowing you have to go to the dentist to get a cleaning and you know how awful it will be but you know you have to so you just deal with it. Or like knowing you will have to get out of bed every morning to go to work so why worry about it, just do it. Or like when I knew I had to go take the glucose test, I knew I had to do it, so why worry about it or fret over it, it was going to happen and whether I liked it or not it did. Okay, having a baby is a lot different than those things, but the point is, one day I will have to have this baby and whether or not I am ready or know what to do, it is going to happen. I am just glad I get to enjoy these times with Kiddo just watching him move about in there!

So I am no longer worried about getting the baby’s room ready , cause it is! We spent most of the weekend painting. It was so exhausting, but worth it. It looks great. I will post pics when we take some, we have temporarily misplaced the digital camera! We ended up having a lot of yellow paint left so I painted our bathroom yesterday, by myself ! And that was a bad idea. Now I am sore and achy all over from working too hard all weekend.

Well my ob’s office called again today, to let me know when I have to go see the dietician and have a visit with a nurse. So all day this Thursday I will spend getting education on gestational diabetes! Wohoo! Sounds so fun! Not really. But I am looking forward to getting the rules in writing. I have avoided all sugar and thus have horrible w/draw headaches, about as bad as when I stopped the caffeine. Maybe it’s just pyschological, but I think the two are directly related.

Kiddo is much more active today, which is good because I was getting worried about him. There for a while he wasnt doing much but all day today he has been up and about.

My mom comes to visit this upcoming weekend, and I’ve heard that she will come bearing baby gifts! I am so excited! I am tempted to look at our registry to see what was bought but that would be no fun so I’ll let you know next weekend! Dean’s mom and I went shopping last week and got an adorable baby outfit! I cant wait to see Kiddo in it! 😉

As I sit here staring at the ugly pale walls in what will be the baby’s room I am filled with fear: fear that nothing will be done before Kiddo arrives. We still have 2 1/2 months til his arrival, yet when I look at my schedule and Dean’s schedule for the next month or so it is unbelivevable. The worst part is my mom will be here next weekend. I was thinking, oh we have time to clean and get the house ready they aren’t coming til the end of the month but then I wake up from my nice nap and reality strikes, that is soon!!! I wanted to have the baby’s room at least painted before they came but this weekend is the only time to do it and we have a birthday party on Saturday and we may as well forget about doing anything productive on Sunday with all of the stuff we already have to do.

Then aside from having the baby’s room painted the only things we have for the baby are a crib, cradle, rocking chair, one outfit complete w/ hat and booties, and of course the adorable hat Dean bought kiddo months ago. (speaking of which, where did that go to, last I knew Dean took it to work to show his friends!) Nothing else though; I know that is a lot when you think about the big things but not really when you think we have 2 1/2 months to budget for or recieve the rest as gifts. And I dont really expect many gifts yet I dont want to think we wont get any, I mean my brother made out great with gifts for his first child but they dont live 10 hours away from the family either. I think that will hinder a lot of gifts for us, not that I am greedy, but we aren’t rich by any means. So I would love to think we’d get lots as gifts or as hand me downs, like we did our cradle and crib. But as the days go by I cant help but get panicked about it all when I know that God will provide all of the details since he did create and bless us with this child, but I am impatient and I guess that is something I must work on. Certainly he wouldn’t provide us with a child he didn’t intend to take care to meet his/her needs in life.

I was telling Dean the other day my silly thoughts about what I think the baby does all day(when he’s not wrestling around in there) And my theory is he plays with the angels that God gave put in charge over him. So I think all day long he plays with angels and listens to God’s comforting words and then sometimes I think he listens to Dean and I. As I read what I just wrote I know that I probably sound crazy but dont you think that God knows that 24 hours x 9 months of darkness would be boring? I mean if the bible says he knew us before we were even formed in our mothers then you would think that we too knew him before we were born, even if we dont realize it. But what would motivate the baby to kick and move and grow if not for the nudges and encouragement of the angels and God himself. If he cant hear us right away he certainly can hear God’s voice. Or so I think. Who knows. Maybe I just hope that is how it is, and it may sound silly, but I only hope those angels that play with our baby daily stick around to keep him/her company every day for the rest of his/her life. I believe children often are entertained by angels and that is why sometimes they are so content to play by themselves, or so we think. Oh well… for all those non believers out there, just call my crazy but I’d like to think our baby’s life so far is as blessed and joyous as is ours.

I had to have my three hour fasting glucose test this morning. I was so worried about it, and I wasn’t looking forward to sitting around by myself for three hours so I took a book to read. I was able to keep the nasty sugar drink down and I didn’t even feel naseaus once! Then the girl kept asking me if the baby was being super active and I said no, and actually he wasnt do much moving at all the whole time. So I don’t know if that is a good sign or not, I cant help but wonder if I am diabetic because then the baby would be used to such high quantities of sugar so he wouldnt be any more active than normal, but I am probably just thinking about it too much. Maybe kiddo was just too tired and hungry today. Since I’ve been home he’s been much more himself which makes me feel better. It’s been a lovely afternoon so far, we are having some bad storms again today but it is nice to sit and listen to the rain. It’s the lightning that bothers me the most. I was hoping for a nice warm sunny day so I could go swimming but I dont think it’s going to happen. I think I may just take advantage of the dark skies and take a nap. I am sure kiddo could use a rest too, it’s been a stressful morning.

Last night there was a severe thunderstorm warning until midnight. So when Dean got home earlier than expected I was thrilled. It wasn’t bad out yet but I worry about him sometimes. So he comes home and tries to pry me away from watching Dark Angel to accompany him on a ride. I made him wait til the show was over and then got dressed as I was in my pajamas and we climbed in the truck to go who knows where. But then I noticed he had a blanket and pillows with him. So I knew he was up to no good.

So we went to a nearby park and laid in the back of the truck watching the lightning storm. It was so beautiful and relaxing. We finally got uncomfortable and decided we better head home before the real storm hit so as we pulled ino our drive it starts pouring down rain. We barely had enough time to get the car windows up and not get drenched! It was a lot of fun, I have the greatest and most caring husband out there. I am so lucky, and I can only imagine how good of a daddy he will be since he already takes such good care of me!