Wisdom from my walk

Just got back from my appointment with my ob. Once again my blood pressure was up, he wants me back on Monday to get my blood pressure checked. If it is still high they will induce me then. If not we will see how my ultrasound goes on Wednesday, if Caleb is doing well then I will see the ob again on Thursday and see how my blood pressure is then. So it could be Monday, or it could be late next week, or at the latest they will induce me no later than August 13th. So I guess that is good to know, but it is frustrating to have to wait. The dr said it is all just a waiting game now. That didnt make me feel much better, I am already getting bored with being home – but I am exhausted so at least I can rest up now so that in case I am in labor on Monday I will be ready.

Aside from baby stuff nothing really new going on with us. The new computer is great! It is really fast! I just wish I could sit here long enough to enjoy playing on it, anymore it’s just too uncomfy to sit for a long time. Well, we’ll keep everyone updated on the baby news and if anything exciting happens, which I doubt since I am stuck at home, then I’ll update then.

Way to go Hillary! And I can’t believe that labor story; must have been all those prayers everyone was sending your way! Hope Caleb decides to come on his own too!

I was talking to my mother in law today and she was so supportive! Ha! I was telling her it is getting scary that labor is so close and she started laughing and says, yeah for a couple of hours it is scary then you are holding this baby and asking everyone what to do with it now that it’s here! I told her gee thanks for the words of encouragement! See if I let her be there doing delivery! just joking! It was funny though, at least she thought so, she kept laughing for about five minutes!

I keep reminding her how this baby is already a lot bigger than both the kids she had, which is ironic because apparently this baby is bigger than both my brother and I were when we were born too. I guess the next generation is just bigger babies. I told my mom it is because women today eat a lot differently than they did 20 years ago, that and women today don’t smoke during pregnancy- which was why my mother in laws kids were premies and so super tiny. But the funny thing is now my husband is huge, he is over 6 feet tall and his brother is not too tall but both are pretty big guys – you would have never guessed it had you seen them when they were babies. Speaking of that, unfortunately no one seems to have any baby pics of me when I was little so I can only guess what the baby will look like from what Dean looked like when he was a baby. I just know he will be soo cute! – if he looks at all like his daddy!

Our morning went well today, we went to get my weekly ultrasound. They even checked my blood pressure and it was okay, not great, but okay. They said the baby weighs about 7 lbs, 8 oz. and his head is definitely pretty far down, but not too far she said. So we will find out more about that tomorrow at my ob appointment. The specialist was happy with my sugar levels and said he doesn’t recommend I go past my due date, but that it is up to my regular ob to decide about that. So by size, Caleb should be due on July 30! But by my last period it is still August 14th. So point is, he’s a big kid and I am sure he could hold his own now if he were born.

I subjected myself to more episodes of a Baby Story on TLC today. I am just making myself depressed, they make it look so easy! And once again, the first episode the woman delivered naturally and the second one ended up having a c-section. And the second woman had a nice big 9 lb baby, and I think it was even 9 lbs, 13 oz or something. No wonder she had to have a c-section! I really shouldn’t watch that show though, it makes me wonder just how in the world our labor and delivery will go, knowing it may be induced puts me at more of a risk for needing and epidural and c-section which are the two things I so want to avoid. But I guess as long as Caleb is healthy that is all that matters, but still, I worry about having complications.

Dean got the parts for his new computer today. He was excited but not too thrilled because he got up and walked away from his new system and went to work at the theater. I was impressed, but a little sad. I am already getting bored, and it is only my first day off. I started to finish up writing my thank you cards but then my hand and eyes got tired so I gave up for a little bit. But I know I really should use this time to do that so that it get’s done before Caleb arrives.

I talked for a long time with my brother, sister-in-law and grandparents today. It was kind of sad, knowing they wont be here when Caleb is born. They won’t even have a chance to see me and my pregnant belly except for in pictures! I am really hoping to go home, to Baltimore, this Christmas so everyone can see Caleb but like my grandmom said, that is a long time away! So it’s been a somewhat sad first day of being off of work, only good things to come of today are Dean’s new puter, I had a good appt with the specialist, and I got to spend some time with Dean. But the days not over yet, so maybe I’ll find something to do just yet. I guess I should be glad I am not stuck on complete bedrest like some women. But I still hate just sitting around and it’s way too hot to go outside and do anything. So I guess I’ll get back to finishing up my thank you cards……….

So, it ended up being a nice 11 hours of work today, and amazingly I am not too tired at all. My blood pressure was up first thing when I got to work, but not as high as yesterday so I thought I ‘d try to work since there was no one to take my place. So at lunch time the nurse checked it again and it indeed had gone up, but still not as high as yesterday. So I figured oh well, my ob never called me back so I guess I can keep working. I had a few cramps today and had to stretch often at work but it wasn’t too bad. Around 4:30 I got transferred a call from our phone room, where they all answer the phones of course, and they said it was my dr. The nurse apologized for not calling sooner, and I apologized that they had to track me down because I failed to give them our new work phone # since it changed when we moved offices. But she said my chart got misplaced and she knew she had to call but she couldn’t find the info to give the dr. And from working in a dr’s office I completely understood, but mind you I had already been working all day by now so whatever she had to say wasn’t going to help me much for today. So the nurse asked how my blood pressure was today, I told her and she was not happy, of course not. She said I really need to stop working, I told her I wouldn’t have worked today but I didn’t know since no one got back with me. So she told me she’d see me on Thursday when I have my next appt unless my ultrasound doesnt go well tomorrow.

So I hung up the phone and it hit me that today was going to be my last day of work until after I have the baby. It was the saddest feeling. I mean yes I’ve been dreading going to work everyday but I had all of these things I needed to finish up first, and Karen is still on vacation til Monday so I was worried about who was going to do my job. I talked with one of the nurses first before talking with my boss, so I’d get my nerve up. Then I dragged myself into my bosses office and told her what my ob had called to say. She seemed to know it was coming, she kept joking with me today about being there when I should be home resting, yet she never offered to have someone fill in for me so I could leave. But she was fine with today being my last day, I told her where all of my files were on the computer in case they were needed. And I left my co-workers, all of who had already left for the day, a long note telling them where to find what they needed to do my job and to call if they had questions or were having trouble finding something. So they won’t know till tomorrow morning that I wont be back until after Caleb is born. So it was quite sad as I wrapped up my nice 11 hour day, as I checked my desk to make sure everything was there that they would need til I got back. So there I was worried about having to keep working, yet now I am sad that I wont be working for a while; that just doesn’t make any sense. I guess it is the pregnancy hormones getting all confused.

I think Dean is not happy that I can’t work at all, but today was proof that it’s not good for me to be working because as the day went on my blood pressure just got higher and I started getting cramps. So I know it is a good thing, I just don’t know what I’ll do with myself until the baby comes, but it may be a lot sooner than we think. So tomorrow Dean is going with me to my ultrasound and they will measure how big Caleb is, so we should have a lot more information between tomorrow’s appointment and Thursdays with my regular ob. And Dean’s new computer parts arrive tomorrow too! So he took the whole day off, so that will be nice – to have my first day of bedrest to spend with my hubby. But I think he will be wrapped up in the computer and then I think he has to head to the theater to get ready for a reading of a new play that is tomorrow evening, but still we should get some time together before he gets too busy with his plans. And I think it will be hard on me knowing I wont be working, I can’t just sit around all the time, so I think this is going to be a challenge for me , but who knows, it might not even be for that long….we’ll see……

It’s Tuesday, bright and early, and gray and dull looking outside. Why do I force myself out of bed to drudge off to work a nice 10 hour shift at work, because I have to. Why do I get up so early, because I have to. And why do I sit here writing about, so I can complain about it! That’s right, why wake up Dean and complain when I can just write it down here. No really, I just know that by the time I get home I wont have much energy to write so I owe it myself to do so now.

Stacey is so funny! I didn’t even think about the fact that whoever I call now will wonder if I am calling to tell them I am in labor. Though my mom I know must do the same thing she did everytime I call. Because whenever I call mom her first question is “is everything alright?” It about drives me nuts. Worse yet is the fact that she is calling almost daily now to make sure I am not in labor, taking note of more of my symptoms than my own dr does at his visits! So don’t worry folks, if I am in labor I have a feeling Dean will be the one picking up the phone to call cause I don’t think I’ll want to be questioned or even on the phone when it truly happens, no offense to those who are expecting a call, if I am able or indeed if they schedule my labor then I will call but if I truly go into labor on my own, expect Dean to be the one on the line, and then you can worry!

But I am sure today is not the day, because I have to work and he simply can’t make his appearance today, and as the girls at work have been telling me, I can’t have this baby until Karen gets back from vacation which isn’t until July 30th, so despite how I feel I guess I should suck it up and get ready for work cause of course I can’t go in labor until work is ready for me to! So sorry mom, we’ve got plenty of time left…..

I was very grateful to mother nature for the most part of this summer, but it looks as though she is going to plague my last few weeks of pregnancy with insanely hot weather. And the a/c in my car has not yet been fixed so even a short trip to the grocery store left me covered in sweat! It’s got to be almost 100 out there! Yuck! I guess I should be glad it wasn’t like this all summer. But still…..

Well I spent most of the night being miserable and sick. But I managed to get myself up and to work since I was the one scheduled to open the office. So I got there and had the nurse check my bp and it was pretty high, so I worked til the other girl got there and then made my way home to bed. The frustrating part was I called my dr’s office at 8:30 and got their answering service that said that I needed to wait til 9 because it wasn’t an emergency. So at 9 I left a message with the nurse and she did inform me that there wouldn’t be a dr in the office til the afternoon. So knowing how backed up it would be, I figured not to get an answer until close to closing time at their office, which happens to be 4:30. Bankers hours I tell ya, 9 – 4:30, I am glad they may schedule my birth because I would hate to have to try to get through to them if I had a real emergency. Their line is always busy! So I called back and was the nagging little patient, only to find out that I just need to rest and take it easy, well that is all fine and dandy, but I informed the nurse that I am scheduled to work at least a 9 hour shift at work tomorrow and she said that’s not good, and that she will check with the dr and see what he thinks I should do about working. Apparently since they knew I was home today they thought I was not working anymore, but I told her I came home today to rest but am scheduled to keep working. So that changed things, or so she said, so she is supposed to call me back. I hate to be such a pest to them, especially knowing how it works at a drs office and knowing that I am one of those patients the staff knows by name and that my chart is probably always out. I mean I hate it when patients call back to check on the message they left, it gets annoying, but I think being pregnant makes it different, or at least that is my excuse. Like all the books say, don’t hesitate to call your doctor if….even if it’s nothing, so I figured high blood pressure isn’t a little nothing, but then again I am a worry wart. But the nurses at work did tell me to call my ob, but still, I know the office staff at my ob’s office probably dread my calls. At least they are nice to me about it though, some of our nurses get mean to patients who are persistent.

I was glad to come home today though, I was so exhausted from being up all night. I was so worried about disrupting Dean’s sleep but today when I asked him about it, he said he was comfy and didn’t even realize I was up and down all night; which is good cause he needs his sleep. He has been so sweet lately, and especially cuddly! I think he enjoys me being pregnant, I mean knowing that I am going to have our baby, and all; not necessarily my being sick though. But he is so protective of me lately, and I must say we’ve had a great few weeks. No doubt because we’ve had the time without working on a play, but none the less we’ve found things to do and have had some really fun “dates” lately.

Tonight our small group is meeting at our house, so I am glad I was able to come home and rest because I would no doubt want to come home and sleep had I worked all day. Then tomorrow Dean does have to head to the theater to get ready for a reading of a play on Thursday night. And if I go to work, I will probably work late, so tomorrow is out for quality time, but hopefully Dean will be going to my ultrasound this Wednesday. I really hope he can, I know he loves it, and well there may not be that many more. I was thinking about that today, I may not know which one is my last one, and I really do enjoy seeing Caleb on the screen, I take it for granted I am sure. I am sure there a lot of women who don’t get near as many ultrasounds as I”ve had. And I know it’s not for a good reason that I have to have them, but it does help reassure me that he is doing well when I see him every week.

I hope Hillary is doing well today!!! Babies, babies and more babies. It sure is strange just how many I know of that are being born soon, or that have been born recently. And our little Caleb will be just another. I was watching the Baby Story on TLC today, and I cried so bad at the end. And of course there were two episodes on today, so I subjected myself to both. But I was glad I had, the one girl had an almost perfect labor and the other had to have a c-section, and I felt much better about a c-section after seeing the one today. The one we saw at childbirth class made it look terrible. But I would still rather not have one. Well, I’ve written enough for one day……..

Well, lunch was great today , went to my favorite restaurant, the Macaroni Grill. And even more amazing, Dean & I spent less than $20 total, we usually walk away with a $30 bill, but today we didnt. I ordered spaghetti and a salad and Dean got soup and salad, but we ended up swapping because I didnt like the spaghetti sauce and he was hungrier than I was so he needed more than just soup and salad. The soup was sun dried tomato basil, and I would have never ordered just because I wouldn’t think I would like it, but it was simply delicious! So I think from now on maybe I’ll just get soup and salad, but it sure is hard to resist all of the other pasta things on the menu!

After lunch we came home and took a nice long nap, I was exhausted. I really do believe I am coming down with a cold, or just getting a sinus infection. I was so tired and my head was all stuffy. So we both came home and rested up for the evening. Dean is now at Mason’s production of Into the Woods running spot light while I sit here avoiding doing all of the cleaning that needs done before we have a houseful of company tomorrow. I got started on one thing and then a zillion other things that dont need done by tomorrow, just stuff I know needs done before Caleb arrives. My top priority has been updating the chart I use to keep track of what bills need paid when, but our printer hasn’t been working to print it out, so I never did. So, of course, when I really dont have the time to, I fixed the darn thing and redid our bill schedule so that next month when I am too busy and tired to do so, Dean can start writing checks and helping manage the bill paying. I usually keep it quite organized, but I hadn’t been able to do so since our printer wouldnt work and of course its easier for me to do with it in my hand and not just looking at it on the screen. But Dean will probably be the other way around. He’d rather use the computer than paper any day.

And now I sit here writing this instead of cleaning, I think the worst part is knowing no matter how hard I put it off, I am going to have to clean. And it’s not like our place is messy, but the floors need mopped and the vacuum needs run, two things for which I have no energy or desire for right now. Oh well, back to work I go…….

Speaking of work, things at the new office are nice mostly, the new girls are nice, but I can never get out at my scheduled time because now we are over burdened with work, so I have been working 9 or 10 hour days with only a 1/2 hour lunch break. Aside from that and a ton of little nerve racking things, I think the move to the new office was a good thing. Best of all, I am a lot closer to Dean’s work so I can see him more often if I like. But with only a half hour lunch it makes it hard to do. I am dreading having to leave with all of the changes going on at work, but I also dread going to work and being so uncomfortable every day until my leave starts, which isn’t until I go into labor! Oh I’d love to be one of those women that don’t have to work………Yet I can at least be proud of myself for working so far into my pregnancy, especially with all of the trouble I’ve had, one day I can tell Caleb just how strong and brave mommy was working while she was miserably pregnant with him, no there are good times, like when I feel him move and see him on the ultrasound, but then there are those days…….I know it will all be worth it, just a few more weeks, this is the beginning of week 37! And they said they wont let me go past my due date so I know I have no more than 4 weeks and maybe as little as 2 or 3 weeks left!!!!! I don’t know how Hillary is doing it, I am miserable and uncomfortable now, I can’t imagine being a week past my due date! We’ll be praying for you tomorrow!