Wisdom from my walk

It’s Tuesday, the day I should be babysitting. But once again, I’m not. Yesterday was snowy, today is icy. They were calling for 1/4 in of ice but not until this evening, BUT we’ve already got 1/4 inch or more of ice on everything! So, today we wait to see what else we get. by tomorrow we are expected to get that other coating of ice then later 3 inches of snow or so. Then more messy weather will arrive on Friday! So needless to say we probably wont leave the house for a while, well Caleb and I. Dean made it out to work yesterday afternoon and he just headed out a little while ago but is taking it slow. I wish he’d stay home, he can work from home and I wont have to stress over him getting in an accident. I was up bright and early stressing over how bad it was and if my friend would endanger themselves to get the kids here, luckily when I called I was rousing her from bed, so no babysitting today.

Meanwhile we are still dogsitting. That was going well but yesterday I left a pair of my shoes on the porch so I wouldnt get snow everywhere and forgot to bring them in the next time I let the dog in, and when I looked out to check on the dog he had tore up one of my shoes! He also tore up a cup that we had out there that we were using to poor salt w/. The first couple of days he was fine, but I guess he’s either getting homesick or bored or both and thus the destroying things. He has also figured out how to open our front gate, not sure how but he does. So while dean was out cleaing off the icy car the dog got out and didnt come back for about an hour, and then I had to trick him to get him in the house. He’s escaped at least 4 times! Today I am not letting him out unless I take him out on the leash because I cant go out chasing him in this icy mess w/ a toddler in tow. I am sure he might come back, but since he’s not used to being here I’m concerned he wont. when Dean tried to leave after the dog escaped, the dog chased the car down the road and he probably would have chased him farther had dean not come back in an attempt to get the dog back in the house. I wanted a dog, now I”m just getting annoyed. It’s like he’s trying to drive me nuts. I know he’s probably not but it’s still frustrating.

Hopefully the weather clears up soon but it’s not looking to be a good week ahead weather wise. I just hope we dont go nuts being stuck inside for awhile. Hope everyone is staying warm and safe!

What a weekend! Well, Caleb was sick Thursday, I was sick off and on all week, and we tried to be well enough to go out Friday night and managed a good evening in that ended in playing games w/ friends til midnight while we got about 1 1/2 inches of snow! Saturday we went to a birthday party in the afternoon after spending the morning out enjoying the snow and even managed in a walk to the park since we are dogsitting, I think we enjoyed it more than the dog though, it was great seeing Caleb enjoy the snow and the dog! Last night Dean started to not feel so good and sure enough today he’s been in bed all day w/ a stomach bug, probably the same one Caleb and I had. I’m glad I managed to not get the vomitting part of it, so far. So today I”ve tried to entertain dog and kid alone, which is hard because I so want to be able to spend the day w/ Dean , and I hate seeing him so miserable!

We are supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow overnight, it just started snowing about 30 minutes ago and everything is already covered w/ snow, again! They arent predicting a very good rush hour for the morning, which is fine since I think Dean will probably be calling in sick anyway. I just hope that I dont get any sicker than I’ve been this week, but it comes w/ the job I guess. i’d happily take the illness if I could take it away from Dean, he looks so sad!! My poor boys! Caleb and the dog kept trying to rouse Dean and play w/ him, but that just made Dean more miserable.

It’s been so nice having a dog around. I thought it would drive me nuts, but this is a great dog. he’s pretty big too, which makes it hard when he likes to lay w/ you in bed or lay on the couch next to you. He pretty much has to be near you no matter where you are. I went down to do laundry and he went w/ me, found a seat for himself on the futon as I did laundry! I thought he went back upstairs when I went into my office, but as I turned to leave my office an hour later , he was laying right next to my chair! Caleb keeps playing with him, or sitting in front of the dog as he lays on the floor. It’s too cute. I told Dean if I coud clone this dog I’d be happy, but I know that theres a slim to non chance we’ll ever get a dog this good! But I can dream. I think we’ll all miss him when he leaves on Tuesday.

Well I’ve had a long day but I”ve been feeling so good w/out the med I am not that worn out. I usually am drained of energy by 10 am, but since I”ve stopped the diamox I’ve got a lot more energy. The headaches has subsided some, which is great, I will just keep praying they stay away for awhile! Now if we could just get this stomach bug out of the house….

Hope everyone has a warm and safe Monday, hopefully mine will be spent lazing around w/ Dean, Caleb, and Mystery(the dog).

I have one more pill of diamox to take and then we’re done, hopefully! I was able to almost enjoy a soda this week, for those who dont know, it makes soda taste metallic. So now that the dosage is lower or the fact I havent had a soda in months, it’s tasting better to me. So all next week we wait to see if I get worse or not, if not the next week we start lowering my lasix dosage until I’m off of it. I”m already experiencing some worsening headaches but I keep trying to excuse them away as something else, wishful thinking I guess. I am sure if they are PTC headaches then they’ll just get much worse after tomorrow when I”ve not had this medicine to control my increased spinal fluid. But if it’s not PTC headaches then the hope is all next week I am fine. If not I will have to make the dreaded call to the dr and tell him that I might need to stay on the diamox but we’re going to keep praying that the headaches and other symptoms go away so I can be med free and then on our way to baby making, but I’m a little doubtful today as my head keeps hurting, but ….could be a zillion things, stress is a big one but we’re actually not dealing w/ a lot of stress right now so I’d be suprised if that was an issue. Hormones, shouldn’t be dealing w/ that this week, so it’s not good to be having these headaches, but it could be worse.

thanks go out to the Galleghers for providing dinnner for us last night! It was great! Caleb is feeling better today, definately some sort of stomach bug but he’s eaten today and is playing more so things are looking up! It was so thoughtful of them to make a meal for us! Thanks a bunch!!!!

I’m getting a little bummed about my part time job, you know the PC Consulting stuff. In an attempt to have people over and to sell some products, I’m hosting a show at my place next Friday. I sent out 50 invites in the mail and emailed at least 15 more people who didnt recieve snail mail invites. I’ve gotten no RSVP’s of yes! One person has placed an order. One out of 65, and still not one yes. Guess I just need to find 60 more of my closest friends and family to invite. I know people do this for full time jobs, maybe I”m not trying hard enough, but I dont know where else to turn. I really like entertaining and hosting, so it’s really not all about the money. I actually hate asking people to buy things, it’s just not in my nature, maybe why I’m not succeeding at this. but I personally love these products, and they are great! I’m not completely biased, as I’ve seen many a people rave over the products who aren’t consultants for the company. I guess I’m just in a rut. I thought for sure once I was up and feeling to it I could succeed at this, but looks like yet again failed attempt at trying to work outside the home for me. Guess it’s just not my thing. I can change diapers, do laundry, clean house and cook, so at least I have some skills, too bad you cant get paid well for these thing! Just griping. Not that I expect anyone to buy stuff if they dont need it or have the money to, but heck who doesnt want to come eat and socialize!?!?! Enough whining, dont come if you read this and feel guilty, this is my place to share I need to feel comfortable doing so. I dont want to know you came becuase I made you feel bad. thanks for listening! (or reading, as it is w/ blogs)

Life drives me nuts! This was to be my first week babysitting two times a week, as opposed to just once. Caleb and I were out all day yesterday, from 7:50 am til 7:50 pm. He was fine, he had a ball visiting his grandparents. He saw Dean briefly before going to sleep and awoke several times at night calling to Dean. I thought it was just becuase he hadnt really seen him all day. But at 6 when he called I went to check on him because it sounded like he was gagging or throwing up and his shirt was wet and he was laying on the floor and the floor was a little wet. I guess he threw up a little. But I wasnt sure. Didnt know if he drooled on his shirt in his sleep or something so I just kept watching him. The kids arrive and I warn my friend he is acting odd and may have thrown up. As soon as she leaves he throws up all over the kitchen floor. Great. I tried to separate the kids but they just didnt understand why they had to be in separate rooms and toddlers do not like baby gates! Caleb even figured how to climb over it!!

needless to say, the kids got picked up by their mom and I”m trying to figure out whats wrong w/ caleb. He’s got a low fever but I gave him tylenol to hopefully take the pain away, he keeps holding his stomach and saying owie. So it must hurt becuase this child has a high pain tolerance usually. So much for trying to watch the kids twice this week.

Everytime I”ve tried to go back to work full time outside the home or not, something always happened. Last time I got a full time job I got sick , then caleb got sick, then the car broke down. It’s like all the forces in the world are working against my working. So maybe being a stay at home mom of one is my destiny, but tell that to our check book! Blah!

Our poor little boy keeps laying around on the floor calling for his Daddy. I cant do anything to comfort him , I hate this so much. He always wants Daddy when he’s sick but Daddy cant come home from work or neither one of us will have any money!

I’m just going to keep praying I dont get sick, but I’ve had a horribke headache for 3 days and my stomach was a mess yesterday, so it might be too late. So at least it’s Thursday, two more days til the weekend!

God’s birthday gift for me: SNOW!!! we drove to PA last yesterday leaving here around 5:30 to head out to a PC Banquet and on the way it started snowing. It didnt stop until sometime after we got home in bed. The PA roads were a mess driving home at 10 pm on a Saturday night, but luckily we made it home safely. As soon as we hit the MD line the road conditions were much better, our travelling companions told me this would happen but I didnt believe it until I saw the huge difference. We finally arrived to pick the kids up from our friends house shortly before midnight! But it was worth it. I had a good time and won a great door prize!! But I was so glad to be home safely, I hate driving in snow or even just rain sometimes. In PA there was at least 2 inches but here at home we only ended up w/ that, I mean in PA it was that much at 10 pm, it was after 2 more hours of snow here by the time we made it home and it wasnt that bad. For that I am truly grateful. Have big plans for today too!! It’s been a great weekend, I can honestly say I’ve never had such a memorable birthday, not a whole 3 days of celebration like this. The best memory I hold onto is of a date w/ Dean on my birthday,we had either just started dating again, or were in the process of deciding that, and he made me butterscotch pudding and we watched a movie at his place. I guess the best memories were of just being w/ him, being together, young and in love. My hubby is the first guy in my life who ever asked me if it was ok to kiss me before he did, I think that’s why I kept him around so long, he was a keeper!!! It’s been great 7 years after that date where he was so sweet, he continues to get sweeter and sweeter. I have an incredible husband and am so blessed by his love in my life. Thanks honey!!!

In an attempt to get way too much done and still get in an afternoon , the end of my day turned into a nightmare. I had to shower and get ready to take a meal to a friend who just had a baby, get Caleb together, make sure we had stuff together to head out to get Dean immediately after dropping off the dinner, then get Dean go to my moms for dinner and hang out for my birthday dinner. I didnt get ready to shower and get myself ready til 3 after resting some and as I went to get in the shower Caleb awoke which meant no shower or showering w/ him, which he loves so we went for that option. But that takes longer and I still had to make the meal I was taking to our friends house where I was supposed to be at 4 pm! I was a wreck. I run around like crazy getting us together only realizing at the last frantic minute I didnt know how to get to where I was going. After trying to get directions over the phone w/ Caleb bothering me I decided to first get us loaded in the car and on our way then call for the directions. Ended up being only a five minute drive to drop off dinner but I was late which made me late to pick up Dean which made dinner later.

Despite my horrible attitude and feeling sick, as soon as I sat and talked w/ my friend and her new baby I felt a little better. Seeing Dean come towards the car w/ a huge bouqet of flowers also added to my delight! Then we had a great dinner w/ my mom and step dad topped off w/ an ice cream cake, yum!! We stayed there awhile, long enough to watch Joan of Arcadia, then headed home. Caleb crashed in the car and I started to arrange my flowers while Dean went out the car for something, he brought in my present. Deluxe Scrabble!! I told him the other day I”d really wanted it and he got it!! he’s done great this year at suprising me, I am truly impressed. Now if he could just get that I really do like a birthday card, actually that would be all I’d like if it meant he remembered that too!! For some reason he just doesnt buy cards, for any occasion, drives me batty. he knows it drives me nuts, but he still wont go buy a dumb card!!! But I am happy. So w/ Caleb asleep we played my new game, only to be slightly dissappointed at how the Deluxe Scrabble is different than the game I remember playing w/ my grandmom many years ago. Where’d the Qu peices go? and the deluxe board is not quite as deluxe as the one we used to have, it’s actually kind of cheaply made. I guess what I wanted was the Classis game!! which is probably still under my grandmoms couch just waiting for me to come play it, maybe I’ll ask her about it soon. I think maybe if I could just see it and know that my memories were right that would help. But despite my let down about that, it’s still great. And even though Dean is usually bad at word games he ended up beating me by about 15 points!! Guess thats what I get for winning the game we got him for Christmas the first time we played it! better luck next time I guess! So so far my birthday weekend is shaping up nicely,and it’s still only Friday!!!

There is hope for us yet!!!! I had an appt today w/ the neurologist, and after him telling me the headaches were most likely tension headaches and not from the pseudo tumor, he said we’d still continue to stop the diamox and start me on a headache medicine that would help me sleep at night too. The thought sounded good to me, until I asked the million dollar question: can I be on these 2 meds and get pregnant? He said more than likely not, he couldnt remember if it was safe in the first part of pregnancy or the last, that he could check, but I told him I’d deal with the headache pain and see what happens. So if all goes well, in a month I’ll be med free and when I go to my gyn appt on Feb 2nd we can discuss my screwy cycles and getting pregnant!! So hopefully in a month or two we’ll be back to trying for baby # 2. I was gonna keep quiet about it until after I was off the meds, but I am too excited about it. I am fairly certain I can deal with the symptoms fine off the meds, we just have to make sure my vision stays the same. If I start having more visual problems we’ll have to start the meds again, but when I was pregnant w/ Caleb I am almost 100% certain I was so sick, 9 months of horrendous morning sickness, becuase I had PTC but it was still undiagnosed. They induced my pregnancy because I was having ptc symptoms but said it was the blood pressure causing it, or toxemia even though the tests showed I didnt have toxemia. So, if I got pregnant and had this before I am sure I can do it again, it wasnt a wonderful 9 months, and I lost weight while I was pregnant, but I’d go through anything. The biggest problem will be the getting pregnant part, I soooo dont want to use Clomid but I am sure this time we will need more intervention than we did last time just because of everythings that happened lately w/ my cycles. But I’ll be hopeful! the thought of trying again is very exciting!!

I know since we had a hard time getting preggo before and things are definitely going on w/ my cycles, it may take a while, and with my 25th birthday just a day away I dont want to wait too much longer. yes, I know we are young, but w/ PTC infertility is common and the longer my cycles go on like this the less likely we’ll be to get preggo, not to mention I dont want Caleb to be too much older than child # 2 if we can do anything about it. I know it may not be in God’s will for us now, and if so fine, but I want to at least try!!! Keep having to put that off makes it harder since I Know the older I get the less likely it will be that we’ll have another child of our own. So think baby thoughts for us , well in a month, I have a month total before I am completely weaned off these meds, but I am doing it my own, the dr told me what to do and I dont have to see or call him unless I get worse w/out the meds. We would have been closer to being med free if the dr got my message last week and this would have been the week we started to stop the other med I am on, but his staff has not been giving him my messages lately, and instead of harrasing them I just waited for my appt today which added an extra week to the treatment plan. So….I’m in a general good mood today, despite my still annoying back pain and headache, but I can deal with it for today. Got lots of birthday plans this weekend that I am looking forward to. Happy Birthday to Cheryl tomorrow too! And congrats to Dana on her great baby news !!