Wisdom from my walk

I just saw the prettiest cake ever! well I am a little biased, it’s a bridal shower cake I just finished making. I got the color swatches from the seamstress this weekend and was hoping to find flowers to put on the cake to match and on Sunday I found the perfect ones half off at Joann’s. I’ve never done a cake like this before but I had a grand scheme for it in my head and it turned out truly beautiful, the picture doesnt quite do it justice. I’m hoping everyone at the shower likes it as much as I do! I think Dean was suprised at how it turned out too, of course he couldnt see the image I had in my head all week planning it and I think when he finally saw what I had been thinking he was impressed, or so I think! the pic of the cake is below.

Having worked in a doctors office before I try to be nice to office staff and be very understanding of how stressful and busy things can get, but even so I have my limits. With the knowledge of how a doctors office works there’s the effect it has on your understanding how well a practice runs and also knowing when something is majorly wrong at an office. I’ve been waiting for a call back from my endocronologist, the one handling my diabetes, since Thursday of last week. I’ve also been waiting for them to schedule me an appt for my two week f/u, I’m due for that appt the end of this week. So after not having heard from them days after leaving messages and faxing my sugar levels today I was ready to lay down the law, and I did. Like i said I tend to be understanding but when I was told today that I never called and that I scheduled an appt yesterday for this thursday(that I never called to schedule, the apparently scheduled it for me and didnt bother to make sure it was ok) I went off on the scheduler. I first off told her I had just spoken to someone who told me I’d be getting a call back soon, about an hour before this phone call. I also told her I never scheduled that appt and that it is unreasonable for them to schedule me an appointment and expect me to show up regardless of my own schedule just because they are booked up on appointments. She told me that it was my own fault if I didnt take that appointment and that they’d notify my ob that they were not responsible for what happens if I miss that appointment since they book appointments three months in advance. I told her to cancel the appt and that I would not be back at which point she put me on the line w/ the office manager, about darn time!! who apologized in great length and soon after my dr was calling me to go over my sugar levels.

Quick update: had my 32 week appt today. Gained a lb or two I think, didnt pay much attention, all I know is that I didnt lose any more weight for once! My blood pressure was good, baby’s heart beat was good and he is head down. They scheduled me for an ultrasound and non stress test next Thursday so I am really looking forward to seeing how big he’s gotten! I will be going weekly from now on out since they consider me insulin dependent now. They also scheduled me w/ a consult w/ a perinatologist to replace my horrible endocronoligst who I will never see again! The best thing about this is that this dr has no copay, or at least I dont think so. the other dr that never did her job required a $25 copay every visit, including when I went to see a nurse only who taught me how to use my insulin. So I’m hoping things w/ this new dr go better than this last dr. I started a post yesterday about my horrible experience w/ my endocronologist but never finished it, so I’ll try to get to that later.

So this is 6 weeks til Baby B will be arriving! I’m getting excited but I am more than ready for him to be here already. Especially now that I’m going to have to see the perinatologist and the regular ob once a week for the next 6 weeks on top of helping out at least once a week at the preschool I just dont know how I’ll find a sitter for all those things let alone the energy! today I told the kid we’d go to the park but lucky for me he misbehaved one too many times and I am getting us a nap first in hopes I wake up feeling a little less miserable and grouchy! I just want to sleep the day away! Theres a lot of stress going on right now for me and I am on the verge of a breakdown or something, like I said I just want to sleep…..ah if only life were that simple.

Pregnant women have cravings. Almost all pregnancy books state to go ahead and give in to those cravings, as long as they aren’t for detergent or dirt or something odd. For days now I’ve been craving a snickers bar. I havent eaten sweets in a while and am doing very well eating on my diet, if only my sugar level would cooperate. But today, my after lunch sugar was low and knowing it would make me feel bad I thought it was a perfect time to indulge in a high sugar snack. I have to raise that low sugar somehow, so I ate a snickers bar. Baby B is boucing off my uterus walls as I speak but it was so darn worth it! It tasted truly divine and I’m hoping I wont have any more cravings. I havent had a craving for sweets or much lately so I figured it was a sign to give in, and I did and I dont feel the least bit guilty about it!!!

Last night we were laying in bed watching CSI and all of the sudden I had the worse back and stomach pains, I thought I was in labor! It hurt so bad and I even felt like throwing up. the pain finally passed about 10 minutes later and I had an achy crampy night and then today I am feeling nauseaus again. I had to help out at preschool today and felt so uncomfortable playing w/ the kids and doing all that fun stuff. I am scheduled to help out at the school once a week til November but today made me wonder if I’m going to be able to keep doing it!

at my last ob appt they put me on preterm labor warning and who knows what that means but I know last night scared Dean and I very much and quite honestly had the pain not passed I would have gone to the hospital, thats how severe it was. I had back labor w/ Caleb and it felt worse than that! I’m hoping a good afternoon nap today calms things down and that this achiness is just normal. I dont have another ob appt til next Wednesday but if I get any more back pain I am calling the ob. Fun stuff. I would hate for the baby to come this soon but then again I know God will take care of our precious son. I just hope this is all just normal second pregnancy stuff.

I did it! The sad part of that statement is that while typing it I am singing the song from Dora the Explorer, I think I know more kid theme songs than anything else right now. But the point was intended to be one of great accomplishment, tonight I gave myself my first injection of insulin. Now if you read yesterday you’d know that there was no joy in this thought then, and still there’s not really not much joy, more relief.

I had to go to the dr’s office today to learn how to do the injections and all that good stuff, and was not at all prepared to be made to inject saline or was it water into my leg as a practice. I looked at the nurse in complete shock and told her at least twice I just couldnt do it, then before I knew it I had stuck the needle in, injected the fluid and just as quickly was done the whole mess. It didnt hurt and I still dont believe the needle actually went in! I was grateful for the experience as I was much less apprehensive about the real deal injection this evening. I stressed more over the procedure than the act itself and once again it was over and done w/ in seconds. The true test comes in the morning when I check my fasting sugar levels.

One of my biggest fears, aside from the pain of the injection which is now no longer an issue, was the financial aspect of it. I went to the pharmacy expecting the supplies to cost me $50, but to my suprise it came to only $35, so it may not be great but it’s better than $50, now if I didnt have to keep seeing the dr every two weeks and paying a $25 copay, no way around that one though. So while I am still not thrilled w/ the concept of now being dependent on insulin, even if it might be a temporary thing, I am fairing much better emotionally over it today.

Un update on the dog destroying our curtains, turns out our dog is in heat and thus the manic mood she was in when she destroyed my curtains. We’ve been waiting to get her spayed at the spca but everytime we call to schedule they say they have no appts and to call back the next week, this has been happening for months and we thought we’d be able to get her in to get fixed before this but they didnt have any openings. We could have taken her to her vet but that would be substantially more expensive than the SPCA and we havent had the money to do it. So now instead I have to deal w/ a dog in heat. I am very frustated as I’ve been yelling at Dean for weeks to get this taken care of so this wouldnt happen, but as you can see now I am the one home most of the time who has to deal w/ a dog in heat. It’s not been very fun let me tell you. We’ve tried telling caleb to leave the dog alone because she doesnt feel well but he doesnt understand and I dont really expect him to. He was upset she cant sleep w/ him in his bed tonight, we awoke to a bloody mess on his comforter where she had slept last night, great just great. so now I’m a little less upset up the curtains and more upset at a certain someone for not taking care of getting her to the vet sooner.

Well aside from all this craziness Caleb had his first field trip today to Clark’s Elioak Farm. I’ll get up pics tomorrow or the next day. it was a beautiful very fall like day and we had a great time, despite my constant need for a bathroom which was very annoying as they only had port-a-potties. we came home w/ a pumpkin for Caleb and some apple butter for Dean. After the field trip we went to Centennial Park for a picnic lunch then home to meet Dean so he could be a stay at home dad while I went to the dr, the lab for blood work, and the grocery store. After a nice dinner we all went for a walk and then came home and sat around as a family doing stuff together while listening to music. Now Caleb is in bed while Dean and I sit in bed each w/ our own laptop doing our own thing. We were planning on catching up on watcing all of our tivo recorded shows but I’ve been just as interested in being online as Dean usually is since I’ve been away from the puter all day which is not normal for me, but I was literally out all day so now I’m getting in my puter time. so that should be a way long enough post for one day, if not for a week! hoping things calm down around here soon, but not expecting too much to change anytime soon….