Wisdom from my walk

so by the time I got ready for bed and finally got my comfy shoes off I discovered my feet were extremely swollen.  I’ve never had swelling during a pregnancy like this, the only time my feet ever looked like this is after I deliver.   If I get an iv for a long time or even a short time, after its out I swell really badly.    So after delivering or just being in the hospital I look horrible.  My feet looked that bad last night!  I am worried now about pre-eclampsia since they already thought I might have it before but the tests were normal.  I have never had to deal w/ swelling unless I was in the hospital for something.   It’s a little better this morning but if it doesnt get a lot better soon I’m going to have to call the ob.   It’s probably nothing but I dont want it to be an issue and ignore it, not to mention it’s making my feet hurt!!   I’m guessing I just overdid it yesterday and my to do list is a lot shorter today but I still have errands to run and kids to care for so it’s not like I can sit around w/ my feet propped up all day!   well gotta get going so there might be hope if I can get done and get home to give Bo and myself a nap before Caleb gets home.

Well we were both too tired to go to the meeting at church not to mention it started at 5 and Bo was still napping!  Now the 2nd crib, which we will eventually adjust Bo to is in Calebs room.   A while ago I had won a dinosaur crib comforter and some blankets that matched, it’s nice they will finally be used!  it looks so cute! Caleb and I painted some more wood dinos for the walls.   After I get those and Bo’s name up on the wall I’ll take pics of the completed room.  Caleb is so anxious to have Bo sleep in his room, and is mad at us for not putting him there tonight!   We decided I’ll start out putting him in there for naps during the day while Caleb is school to see how he likes it.  Then after we see how that goes and if all goes well we’ll figure out a new bedtime routine that involves both boys in the same room. I cant even figure out how we’ll do it, for months now i’ve put Bo to bed in his room while Dean reads books to Caleb for bedtime.    Hoping we’ll figure out something easy that will get them both to sleep relatively at the same time!!! I used to be able to get kids to nap at the same time in the same room so lets hope I haven lost my touch!!

I got some new shoes on Friday.  I’ve been searching for some comfy brown shoes since the beginning of winter and no one had anything cute or reasonable.   I found these great shoes that are so comfy on sale on Friday.  I put them on thismorning for church and it’s after 8 pm and they are so comfy I still havent taken them off! Usually as soon as I get home my shoes come off, these feel like slippers almost and are so cute!  So today I sported my on sale shoes with a pair of maternity pants I got at a motherhood outlet for on clearance for $3, which also are super comfy.    I am so comfy which is not normal for me lately, I almost dont want to change into jammies!!   I’m sure I’ll wear out these comfy shoes and pants a ton in the next 10 weeks!

I’m worn out and so is Dean, the kids are in bed, and we’re both sitting on different sofas w/ our own laptops.   I know I need some major downtime.  I feel fevered and my throat hurts but am hoping it’s just all that hard work I put in today, I cleaned the house majorly, have done several loads of laundry, completely reorganized and reaarranged Caleb/Bos room, and made dinner!!!   It’s no wonder I am feeling crappy now that I’ve finally sat down for more than 10 minutes!!!   so off to veg in bed w/ my honey and watch some tv.    Hope everyone had a great weekend!!

and the stress that goes with it!!  I hate this feeling that nothing will ever be ready for the baby, that theres just not enough room for 3 kids , but know full well there is.  I really just need to start throwing toys away but I keep thinking that one day Bo will play w/ them and then baby # 3 too.   i’ve thrown out a lot lately but it still doesnt seem like enough!  Dean’s worked 20 some hours since gettitng home from his regular job on Friday afternoon.   I went to my brothers on the shore for most of Saturday, getting home in time to let the boys see Dean briefly before putting them to bed.   As usual I cant sleep well with Dean gone at night, right before he got home mid morning Bo woke me up, shortly after I finally got comfy and asleep.

I let Dean sleep until it was time to get ready for church, I had to go take care of nursery staff issues or else we would have all stayed home.   While letting Dean sleep I started working more in Calebs room to make room for the crib and then once Bo is a little bigger the toddler bed.    A friend gave us some more cool dino stuff for the room and I went out today to get some new letters that match Calebs to add Bo’s name to the wall above where his bed will go as well as a few more wood dinos to paint to add to that now empty wall.    At least the baby room doesnt need any work, we’ll eventually get letters for baby boy # 3’s wall as well but we have to pick a name first!!!    I’m determined to get the crib for Bo into Calebs room but we’ve barely been home all day and theres a meeting at church at 5 so I doubt we’ll get anything else done.  I’ve gotten a lot done and if I can get Dean to bring the crib parts up I’ll try to assemble it tomorrow I guess.  I’m afraid once my weekly ultrasounds and stress tests start that something will go wrong and I’ll end up in the hospital sooner than we expect.  It only happened a few times w/ Bo, tests didnt go well and they’d send me to labor and delivery.   Those twice weekly tests will start soon since I’m on insulin now, so the chance of being sent to L&D anytime for any reason is always a possibility and this time I want to be as prepared as I can be in case something comes up.    But that means a lot needs done still and with my lack of energy and ability to do much w/out being in pain or having contractions it leaves little room for getting much done.   I’m only sitting here writing now because I’m so physically drained I needed to take a short break from my nesting madness.   Dean’s tired from working all weekend and I’m driving him nuts and he me!!!   Gotta love this stage of pregnancy!

Boaz 14 months old, January 26, 2006

I dont have much to say today, but am bored.   I have lots to do today but I cant get myself going, although I was up and out to take Dean to work.  Bo woke up early so we were all up so in an attempt to get Dean to work on time for once since his carpool ride always gets him there late, we all got up and out this morning.    My back is hurting badly and I’m tired.  My sugar levels are off this morning again eventhough I raised my insulin dose some.  I need to email my dr my levels to see what he thinks.  He told me to only raise the insulin every 3 days so since I raised it once already I dont know if he’ll want me to wait or not to do it again.

I have  a big to do list today but I just dont want to do anything.  I think I need a break, I wish we could take a family vacation or something things just seem blah.     Dean’s working his second job this weekend so he wont be around much at all til after Sunday morning.  I’m already dreading the weekend because of that.   we need the money though so it’s a needed sacrifice.   I still am in shock than in 10 weeks we’ll have another baby.   It’s getting scary the more I think about it.  We have an extra crib and a toddler bed but I dont know when we should start arranging furniture or how to even since the baby will be in our room for awhile.  My biggest fear if we dont move Bo out of his room before the baby comes then it will be harder on him when his room goes to the baby.   Dean of course thinks all of that can wait but I’m so scared waiting to transition him out of his room will make life harder on us since we’ll have to deal with that on top of new baby stuff.    At least Bo is sleeping through the night now so him sleeping in Calebs room shouldnt affect Caleb’s sleep, now gettting them both to sleep might be hard.    So much fun stuff to look forward to.  Well I need to get my lazy self going, I was doing good but it seems once I sit down then it’s all downhill as far as productivity and motivation.    Hope everyone is having a good week!

I have always heard women complain about their baby’s kicking them in their ribs and it hurting.  Neither of the other two boys did this.  Since thanksgiving I’ve had this horrible left rib pain all of the time, knowing I always feel baby boy # 3 move down low I assumed it was related to the mid back pain.  Last night in the spot where it’s been hurting I felt twitches, I thought at first it muscles spasms.  I finally realized the baby was kicking me in that spot.   I’m guessing he was stretching out becuase I felt that at the same time as I felt movement all over.    So maybe he had a foot or some other body part lodged up under my rib all this time and since I didnt feel the movement there til now I didnt realize it.  I kept pushing in that spot to get him to move but he must like it there!   It’s funny how every baby is different.  I’ve never felt a baby move this high up before, it’s crazy becuase at the same time he’s moving really low down, sometimes so low I think he’s going to make his appearance sooner than later.  I’m guessing he’s going to be a long baby since he seems to be taking over my whole uterus where the other two I only felt in certain places.   It’s so strange.   Hoping he’s not getting huge from my sugars being so off.  I started insulin last night and my fasting level was still high, so I’ll up my dosage tonight.    I see a nutrionist on thursday about my meal plan, you usually do that before going on insulin but my numbers werent going well enough and the freaking person they referred me to, the same person I talked to last time about my diet and couldn’t get in touch with, never returned my phone calls, again.    So I’ve been going with what I had written down in my blog for my diet w/ Bo but it wasnt complete so I’m just being really strict w/ what I eat and it’s not working.  Meanwhile dean and Caleb sit in front of me eating junk and whatever they want, it’s quite rude.  Dean doenst think it should matter, what he eats but it’s selfish, ok maybe it’s selfish of me to want him to care about my feelings but either way it’s rude.   I told him it’s going to be really hard on him if the diabetes doesnt go away or I end up w/ type II like my dad , something that is likely to happen at some point in my lifetime, and he thinks I’m crazy.  Well Bo thinks he should get to play on the puter too so I need to get off of here and occupy him elsewhere.

After waiting to be seen for an hour, things went quickly.  I saw the endocronologist, both for a thyroid f/u and for my gest. diabetes. I Knew  most of my daily checks of my sugar have been high, or thought they were.  Well, turns out I had the goal range wrong, and they were a lot different.  So I was thinking that today my fasting level was normal but it wasnt!  He said he could wait a few more days to see how my sugars do, but based on how they have been that he’d rather start insulin now than wait a few days.   The diagnosis for starting insulin is 2 or more readings higher than the normal goal range in 2 weeks, well it’s been 4 days and I think almost all (out of 4 checks a day) have been high.   So when I was thinking some were high but not so bad it was actually worse since I had the goal range 10 points higher than it should be.   So tonight I taked my first dose of insulin and see how it goes.   I had other bloodwork taken at the lab this afternoon as well.  he’s thinking my thyroid will probably be fine, since it tends to worsen in the beginning of pregnancy then afterward.  So at this point in the pregnancy he’s expecting it to be normal.

Dean’s home sick as is Caleb today so they hung out, with Bo of course too, while I went to the dr.   Which was good since I was gone so much longer than I expected to, so Dean was able to put Bo down for nap and get the kids fed lunch.  I just sent Dean & Caleb, who is now feeling much better, out to get my insulin and accessories, as well as to drop off some stuff to Caleb’s teacher that was due back today.   So bo is napping and I’m just hanging out. I should probably be resting or doing laundry, but I’ve done so much running today I just want to chill out.  I’ve had low back pain and pressure all morning so I know I need to start taking it easy again.  I’d stop taking it easy like I was supposed to and am feeling the effects.    I go back to the ob and the endo. again in two weeks.   So I’d like to make it that far without having to go in for any preterm labor scares or anything else for that matter!!!