Wisdom from my walk

Everyone’s always motivated to lose weight so they can be ready to hit the beach or the pool in the summertime. Summer is months away. In fact, there’s snow in my yard right this minute and I’m bundled up with a heated blanket on the couch. You may ask yourself, “whats the point of losing weight in the winter when you have to always stay bundled up in layers of clothes to keep warm so no one will even notice?” Well I have a few reasons that you might find motivating.

If you are anything like me, you dread the holidays. To the family drama to needing to look perfect for photos, I’m not a big fan of the holidays. So this year I’m giving myself the gift of success for Christmas. I could show up at Thanksgiving or Christmas looking like I always do, overweight and miserable. But this year is going to be different. While I might not meet my long-term goal by then, I’ve set a smaller goal to meet by Christmas. I’ve already blown past my Thanksgiving weight loss goal. (yay me!)

While I doubt many of you can make significance changes in 2 weeks to meet a goal by Thanksgiving, I encourage you to set your eyes on Christmas. That being said, with the right workout program, there is definitely hope for some progress by Thanksgiving. But if you want more time, there’s only 6 weeks, or 41 days to be exact, until Christmas.

What changes can you make in your life today to help you reach a weight loss or fitness goal before Christmas? It might be cold outside, but did you know your body burns more calories in cold weather than in warm weather? It’s actually easier to lose weight in winter!

Today I want to encourage you to think about how awesome it would feel to show up to gatherings with family and friends this holiday season after working hard to get healthy. Personally, I am really looking forward to it. The photos I have from the holiday gatherings last year are just sad. I look miserable, fat, and horrible. This year I look forward to family photos!

I’m not trying to say looks are everything. For some people, it might be more important to show up at family gatherings having quit smoking or drinking. What change in your life would be most impactful on others? If you are already healthy, what emotional or spiritual changes can you make to improve yourself? As we approach the end of a year others around you will start focusing on setting new years resolution. I encourage you to set resolutions today and get started on meeting them. Then you can encourage others to not just set news years resolutions, but you can help them achieve them by sharing your story with them. This Christmas give yourself the gift of success, and then help others to do the same!

Since May I’ve lost 46 lbs. I’m healthier now than I have ever been in the past. I’m loving the new found freedom I have as a result of the increased energy I have now. I’m so glad I have made lifestyle changes that are impacting more than just the scale.

I need to take time to thank the man who has supported me throughout this journey. Thanks Dean! I know I couldn’t have made it this far without his encouragement.

A few months ago, after I had been working out for a while, he started on his own fitness journey.  Dean has lost 36 lbs.

Together we’ve lost more than 82 lbs.

Last week we celebrated our 15th anniversary on a family trip to Tennessee. We hiked trails, exercised together, and spent time just hanging out with our kids.  I barely worked on homework and other than a few work related phone calls we truly separated ourselves from the everyday stresses. It was amazing!

We even made this silly video together.

Now that we’re home and getting settled into the busyness of life, I find myself in need of setting new goals. My long term goal is to lose another 24 lbs before I graduate from college in May. My short term goal is to lose 10 lbs by Christmas. Ideally I will lose more than that, but I know it’s getting hard to lose as quickly as I was at the beginning. I’m going to have to take next week off from my workout routine since I’m getting some steroid shots in my knees as well as a biopsy of the fluid in my joints. I figure with taking a break 10 lbs should be doable before the end of the year.

I’m also hoping to focus more on healthy eating versus numbers on a scale. I’ve been battling some eating disorder symptoms for a long time and trying to get fit exacerbates that. I remember having similar issues in high school so it’s not really a new problem. I know whenever I try to “diet” I tend to have problems so I knew it might come up but I thought I had it under control. I’m consistently not eating enough calories and still exercising. So I’m not losing weight like I want to because I’m not getting enough fuel to keep me energized. So part of my goal setting this week has to been to track my food intake so I can reach the proper caloric intake for each day. I don’t like having to track my food, but I know if I don’t I won’t get the results I want.

So this week I’m celebrating the success of 15 years of marriage to the man of my dreams, reaching the mark of 45 lbs lost, and having just 6 months left until I graduate from college. What successes can you celebrate today? If you can’t think of any, what changes can you make to move towards meeting your goals? Do you have goals? If you answered no, I highly encourage you to set measurable and attainable goals and begin doing the work needed to reach them! It’s so worth it to look back at your past and see the effects of the small changes you made months or years ago.

On November 5, 2011 I walked my first 5K. It was horrible. I was in a lot of pain and was not physically fit. It took us over an hour to finish the race, a lot longer than an hour. I wasn’t even sure I could do it. But I did. At that point I weighed 45 lbs more than I do today.

We walked the race as a family. The kids did great considering. We did the race because my friend and co-worker was leading a team. I thought it would be fun and said sure. I never imagined how hard it would be.

I don’t even like to say that that was my first 5K because of how hard it was and how out of shape I was. But  if I’m being honest with myself it was my first 5K. The one in September of this year was the first I ever tried to run.

In two days we’ll do the race again as a family. This time I’m leading up the team. There are 21 people signed up on our team. I never in a million years would imagine I’d be leading up a team for a 5K. Granted we didn’t train together or anything, but the thought of me gathering people together to exercise seems very unlike me. But the truth is, it is not like the old me.

A few days ago we walked to the peak in the Great Smokey Mountains. It was difficult. The elevation made breathing difficult. The 1/2 mile walk felt like miles and was very hard. I quickly passed my family and kept charging up the hill. As I got farther from them I looked back and yelled at them, “If I can do it you can too, Come on!” A guy standing by me asked, “what are you their coach?” I laughed and said no but I know I couldn’t have done this a year ago and I’m determined I’m going to. If I can I know they can. I smiled all the way up the peak and looked down to see all the people I passed along the way.

On the trip down the mountain I kept passing people who stopped along the way to catch their breath. One by one I told them, “keep going, it’s so worth it”. I tried to come up with different encouragement for each of them. Eventually I heard Bo doing the same thing.

We can’t do this journey alone. Years ago I was encouraged to get off the couch by a friend. I walked my first 5K. Years passed and I let my health defeat me.

Today I got out of bed, got dressed and put on my running shoes. I ran the track alone today but I know that I have an army of friends and family cheering me on each step of the way.

If all goes as planned I’ll walk/run the 5K on Saturday. I have an appointment with my rheumatologist tomorrow. There is a good chance I will have to stop running. I’m in a lot of pain and getting around is hard, but I’m determined to reach my goals. If I have to stop running I’ll just need to find something else to do.

Are you sitting on the couch watching people pass you by? Are your excuses really all that good? I got up and ran today even though my knees hurt incredibly bad and it was freezing cold. I’m sick and losing my voice but I still did it. Even if the dr says tomorrow not to run on Saturday I will probably still give it my all and make it my last 5K to run. Why? Because every time I look down the mountain I’m going to see people who need to be encouraged. If I give up now I am giving others reason to give up.

Stand up, fight for your health and then encourage others to do the same. It’s so worth it!

It’s fun to watch Extreme Weight Loss and makeover shows. The participants always get cool new clothes and fun stuff when they meet a goal. In real life, losing weight isn’t that fun. At least for those of us living paycheck-to-paycheck while raising 3 kids on one income. The kids needed new fall/winter clothes. The van needed repaired. We’re officially behind on our bills. On top of that Dean and I are running out of warm clothes to wear as the cold weather sets in.

I was officially out of long sleeved shirts that fit. I was also in desperate need of new underwear and bras. I put it off as long as I could but with the cold weather settling in and having a trip coming up I needed warm clothes. It was finally time to go shopping.

I started out very excited about my shopping trip. After spending an hour looking at racks of clearance clothes at Kohl’s I found some that had swimsuits. I knew I needed one for our trip this weekend. The bonus was they were all just a few dollars and I had some Kohl’s cash to use. I spent loads of time trying on 2 piece swimsuits for the fun of it. It was the most fun I have had shopping, ever!

But I wasn’t able to find any long-sleeved shirts that were in my price range or that I liked. So I left there with very little. I headed to JcPenny. It was here that I realized how frustrating shopping is now. I got there and immediately went to the part of the store I used to frequent, the plus sizes. It’s a small corner of the large store and is very limited in selection. I soon realized nothing there would fit me. I got excited, but that soon faded.

I walked around aimlessly trying to figure out where I needed to shop. Obviously not in the plus size section, but was unsure which other sections of the stores I could look at for my size. There are sections for business, casual, older women (yes I swear there are sections that cater to older women because I hated the clothes in these sections), juniors, dresses, and fitness apparel. I kept roaming around unsure what to look at or what part of the store was for “me”. I used to be the one who was stuck in the plus size section, I now had unlimited options. It was overwhelming.

Instead of finding joy in searching for smaller sizes I got frustrated. I even found myself twice wandering back to the plus size section because I kept thinking that’s where I needed to be looking. There’s one way to accept what size you are, and it happens to be when you try on clothes. It was humbling to realize that while I still have the fat girl mentality I am no longer that girl physically. Granted I still have a long way to go, I’ve made amazing progress in the last few months. Tonight’s trip confirmed that fact.

I wasn’t ready to accept it yet. It’s really an odd revelation. All this hard work to get here and I wanted it so bad, but now that I’m here I’m not really sure what to do with myself or even who I am. I know I’ve still got more weight to lose. Between that fact, the high price tags, and knowing I was going to have to charge whatever I bought thus putting us more in debt all made the evening more sad than I would have liked.

I thought I would love going on a shopping spree to celebrate the new smaller sized me. In the end I realized I was so used to being the plus-sized girl that it’s going to take a while to adjust. I also realized that even though I had a nice amount of credit available, I still am picky about prices. I refused to get anything unless it was on deep discount or at least on sale. I also was smart enough to use coupons. I hate going into debt for things for myself. I know my closet was completely empty, but it still sucks knowing I’m contributing to increasing our debt and not doing anything to decrease it.

So all in all the night was a tad depressing. It wasn’t glamorous like you see on reality makeover shows. I guess if someone else were footing the bill, helping you pick out clothes and sending you to super cool stylist it would be awesome. But this is real life. The reality is that it’s hard to change your mindset even though you can change your body. The second reality is that new clothes aren’t as fun when you can’t afford them.

So the point of this sad post is if you are going to lose weight make sure you have the money to not only pay for your workout program/fitness membership, but also new clothes along the way. We never budgeted for these things and now we’re realizing we should have. But, I will also say, don’t wait until you’ve got your budget saved up for new clothes to wait to get healthy. If it means borrowing clothes from friends, going to the thrift store, or even going into debt it’s worth it because your health is more important than anything else. I will feel guilty about all the things I bought, even the 97 cent bathing suit bottom (no lie it was that cheap) but in the long run I know this is just a temporary setback. The end goal is to get healthy enough that I can return to work once I’m done school. I know that if I don’t take care of my health and lose weight than I may never be able to be well enough to work and help provide for our family financially. So really, it’s a small investment in my future.

So I have a few decent outfits for a now. I was hoping to fit in a haircut before our trip this weekend but it’s really not in the budget so it will have to wait. I’m thinking I’ll start saving and make that my reward for meeting my next weight loss goal. Tonight’s shopping trip was supposed to feel like a reward, and the bathing suit shopping part really was a highlight of my night, but overall I am still not completely thrilled with how the evening turned out. I’m hoping the buyers remorse goes away quickly. I never take time for me or spend money on myself. Both are commodities that are in short supply right now. I feel guilty for doing both tonight.

There’s no big reveal, no awe-struck audience in this episode of Extreme Makeover- Get Amy healthy edition. Too bad reality isn’t as pretty as Hollywood portrays it to be.

If you told me a year ago I’d get up and go running when it’s only 40 degrees I would say you are crazy.  Even crazier is that I spent the night battling pain and when it came time to get up I found it difficult to do so because of the pain. I have been battling fibromyalgia and arthritis for years.  Today that fight was a tough one.  I knew that the only way to overcome the urge to give in to the pain today was to get moving.  For days I’ve been wanting to go for a run. Our next 5K is in 2 weeks and I’ve barely been able to run due to my pain over the last few weeks.  This morning I decided to use my pain as a motivator. I could give in and stay in bed all day and likely feel worse, or I could get up and go for a run.   I did it.

Even though it was the first time I’ve run in 40 degree temperatures I did well. I felt like I was going very slowly and that my lungs were struggling to keep up but I did 5K in almost a minute less than I did in September.  My legs felt great all through the run. For me the difficultly comes after the run.  I can walk or run flat distances fine, but stairs become nearly impossible.  Today I prayed all through my run and specifically prayed that my knees would feel better after the run and not worse.  I’ve done all I can do to get healthy.  I am at the point where I am in pain if I don’t exercise and sometimes in pain if I do.   There’s no rhyme or reason to it.  I knew today was a battle I had to win.  I will not let my pain define me or limit me.

I woke up feeling defeated but got up and conquered the pain.  Granted I’m still in pain, but at least now I know that it doesn’t have to stop me.  Everyday we choose whether we will give in to our fears, obstacles, or limits. Today I used those things to motivate me to keep fighting.

I’ve become a fan of ABC’s Extreme Weight Loss. In general I hate reality tv, but the struggles these people face through their fitness journey are the same as what I am facing.   It’s become a huge motivator for me.  Today as I ran on the track and felt like giving in I heard Chris Powell’s voice asking me what I’m fighting for. In almost every episode I’ve watched I’ve seen him yell this at the person he was training.  I laughed because I felt like I wasn’t alone on that track today.  Granted it wasn’t really Chris Powell, but I firmly believe there was someone running beside me on that track.  Then I remembered what I am fighting for.  I won’t get healthy laying in bed whining about my pain.  I can’t be a role model to my kids if I give in to the pain.  I can’t accomplish the dreams I have for my education and ministry if I give in to defeat. I can’t be the wife and mother I want to be if I let the weaknesses of my body define me.  Giving up is never a choice unless you are willing to give up your dreams.  I am not willing to give up my dreams.  Today I fought the fight.  Tomorrow I will keep fighting. I refuse to let sickness and pain define who I am and who I will be.  Today I won. I know there will be more days when I don’t have the strength or energy, but today I am an overcomer.  One day at a time….

A few too many um’s and funny faces, but not too bad for my first one!