I’d love to go back to early this morning, no wait, til last night and do it all over again. I was up almost all night, I think I finally fell and stayed asleep around 4:50 a.m. I had a horrible headache all night and if I did manage to fall off to sleep briefly I was awoken by Bo or the dog. So since I was up this morning I decided I was going to try to make it to my exercise class. We were up and out of the house on time. Just as I got ready to sign the boys into the kids room at the Y Bo threw up all over the floor.  needless to say they wouldnt let him stay. So instead we headed to walmart since dean headed there last night for me but the boys fell asleep in the van and he didnt want to wake them so I said I’d go today.  On the way to walmart caleb and I were arguing, again. this time about listening to his music, almost all of his cds are scratched which makes listening to them skip around and stop more than you actually hear the music so since I felt crappy as is I didnt want anything else grating my nerves so I Said no and we were listening to my music.  It wasnt until way too late that I noticed the cop behind me w/ his flashers on. Apparently he’d been trying to get me to pull over and I didnt see him and when I finally did I thought he was responding to an emergency and pulled over, it took me a minute to realize I was in trouble, and for what I had no clue.  honestly, I was so frustrated w/ the kids I’d just been driving blindly to the store, as is usual this days. I’ve told Dean several times I should probably not be driving. oh well….so he said I didnt stop at a stop sign, ok really he said all I did was hit the brakes briefly and keep going and that he had a hard time catching up to me, which is hard to believe because I do remember the stop sign after the he said I blew through and you have to stop because of traffic there and I knew I had trouble seeing through the trees to see what was coming to my left so I waited for a minute.  but anyway…..on the road out of our community theres about a zillion 2 or 4 way stop w/ stop signs. the one he said I blew through was the second to last on that route, and I know I tend to stop breifly and keep going because I get so fed up w/ the darn stop signs and lack of other traffic around. so anyway, I got my first ticket and of course it has to be one that costs $75!! not good when we’re already skimping for change these days to afford gas and diapers for two kids.  not to mention are having trouble this month w/ the bills, another $75 expense is just nuts.
so I finally made it to walmart, of course feeling worse than I had already, which is pretty bad since I spent the night being up feeling bad.  the kids screamed and fought the whole time. I had time to come home unload the groceries and head to drop Caleb off to soccer camp, and endure all of those stupid stop signs that just kept reminding me of my freaking $75 ticket.   Home now to let Zeke nap and am praying Bo will lay down w/ me to watch tv so that I can at least rest my body some. it’s just one of those days. through the night I told myself I’d probably not make it to the gym becuase of how I felt, so I made myself get up and to the gym this morning because I wanted to prove to myself I could do it, and things just continued to fall apart from then on….
I just want a do over….
