Busy busy busy. Had a meeting with my boss this week, I am going to cut back my hours at work so I can see my son occasionally and not be soo tired all of the time. She said she'd settle for me working 4 hours a week than losing me completely as this is a temporary thing as Caleb wont be 5 months forever! I was thrilled, the whole meeting went so much better than I expected. And now I am being trained to do nursing things, I am doing urine testing and taking blood pressures as well as rooming patients. It is very exciting and worth working for the oppurtunities they are giving me.
I got a call from my mom last night, my brothers father in law passed away last night, i was so upset and talked to mom for a little while all while Dean yelled at me to get off the phone to tell him what was going on. I got off the phone and fell to peices. The worst thing about it is Amy(my brothers wife)'s sister is about 6 months pregnant and has had some problems so I am so afraid how this will affect the rest of her pregnancy. Not to mention their family was so close to begin with. All day long I kept thinking how blessed I am and that I dont know what Caleb would do if he lost one of us, and the thought is terrifying. Mind you Amy is an adult, but my 1 year old nephew saw his granddad collapse!(or so that is my moms understanding of things) And I am so worried about that little guy, I cant wait to go give him a big hug and lots of kisses this weekend. I love my brother dearly and I know he's never had to deal with anything like this before so I am not sure how he will cope and I just hope I can be comforting to them but I cant even think of the words to begin to say anything to them. So hopefully this weekend my mom and I will be spending with them and helping take care of my nephew. Our world has been topsy turvy since we moved here and this just is another thing to add to the list. Hopefully things settle down soon.....
Today I turn 23!! I awoke in a very groggy state, apparently the night time cold medicine had not yet worn off. I was running behind schedule, I usually am up around 6:30 but it was already 7:15 and Dean was ready to walk out the door. He was running late and forget to even mention a birthday wish or anything but I didnt much remember until later this morning. I got Caleb up and ready for his morning and then I started to get ready myself, in between coughing up my left lung. I was all set to go and went looking for my car keys, or rather the keys to my brother in laws car, and I couldnt find them so I asked him and he said we had them last, and he was right, but not we but Dean. So I searched high and low and realized that Dean must have taken them with him. So I called him at work and sure enough he had the keys. So once again I called out of work, this week was going to be the first week I worked a full 40 hours, but not now. Since I am once again carless. It was kind of good though, I was as pale as a ghost this morning and am still feeling dreadful. So I am spending my birthday cleaning house and baby tending. Which is better than real work anyday.
I am seriously contemplating quiting work, I miss my son so much and every day a new obstacle arises to come in between my getting to work. Its like its a sign or something. With any luck I will get fired for calling out so much, I've only been there a month and have called out at least 4 times!!! They are being really good about it and they really need me there so I dont think I will get fired, but it would make my life easier if I didnt have to deal with worry about working and my son.
Tonight we are going to my moms for my birthday dinner and then Dean, Stacey, Darren and I are going out, hopefully bowling if there arent any leagues tonight. We were going to a movie but I decided that would make for a late night and we have to work tomorrow so we have been talking about going duckpin bowling so that sounded like a plan. My mom is going to babysit which she is thrilled about since she doesnt see Caleb as much now that we have our own place. Deans parents come to town tomorrow, again. They visit so often!! its great to have them coming, I am excited about it, except I have a lot to do this weekend so I dont know just how much time I will get to spend with everyone , but I know Caleb will be loving the attention!!
Happy birthday to me and Cheryl!!!!
I started working on Dec 19th. Since then I have left early 2 times and called out two times!! Nice track record huh? One day well I think it was even my first week, I left early because the babysitter had to take her grandson to the er for his 104 degree temp. Then this past Monday we were carless so Dean and I both stayed home with the baby. Yesterday I left work at noon so I could take Caleb to the dr. He is really sick. He was sleeping through the night really well then he started not to and woke coughing. And he was burning up, it was hard to take his temp but he was obviously fevered. So I took him to the dr yesterday, she said it is acute RSV,which is a respitory infection in babies. She didnt give him any medicine just said to nurse him through it. So he seemed to better last evening so I thought I'd be fine to work today but then around 2 am he decided he was miserable and stayed up most of the night. He was either coughing or struggling to breath all night. This morning I took Dean to work and came home to a crying baby!! (by the way my brother in law is currently living with us so he has been babysitting) I figured if Caleb was fussy all night with us that Darren would have no chance for peace with him today. But he's been okay, I dont doubt he has separation anxiety and that is making this week harder on him when I do go to work. I gave him a bath this morning, he loves the bathtub. And he always sleeps almost immediately after getting all lotioned up and in a diaper, sometimes he is asleep before I can dress him. So I knew that was a sure way to help clear his chest, with the hot water and the soothing vapor bath stuff. And it was a sure way to get him back to sleep, and it worked, he slept of and on for about 1 hr and a half. Since then he's been fussy off and on but mostly okay. He's clingy and keeps sweating and burning up even with tylenol, but at least today I have gotten him to eat. Hopefully , well kind of with hope, I will be back at work tomorrow. I want to go so I have money then again I'd rather be home with Caleb, especially knowing and seeing how much he needs me. Well he is calling me.....
Its been busy since the holidays, good and bad things have happened. I sought medical help for my anxiety, or somewhat, it seems to be helping. Things would be a lot better if I wasnt working and was at home with my son, but then we'd be poor. Today I almost quit my job. This Sunday my car broke down, the only one left that was working. So now we are carless. The babysitter fell down the stairs, I was already struggling with leaving him there so I was happy to stay home with Caleb on Monday, despite my co-workers anger. I forced myself to work today , mostly so we can afford to fix my car. Luckily my brother in law arrived from Ohio last night so today he babysat while I borrowed his car to take Dean and myself to work. The house is coming together nicely. We've spent a lot of time with my family lately which makes me feel great about being back in Baltimore. But other bad things going on include Caleb being sick. He was rejecting his bottle today and doesnt play as much. He's also had a lot more messy diapers. I am hoping it is just teething as the flu going around sent another baby his age to the er to get an iv!! I would hate that. So sorry I havent posted but working is so draining , especially when you must get up to tend to baby at night (he usually sleeps all night, a good 8-10 hours, but since he's been sick he's not sleeping as well) and getting up early enough to get myself and baby ready and to drop Dean off at the train station to commute to D.C. By the time I get in the car to drive home at the end of the day I have to fight to stay awake. Which is harder when I have to go get baby, then go pick up Dean not to mention never leaving time for grocery shopping or dinner prep. So I'd much rather be at home and am considering starting my own daycare as I love kids and am good at watching them. Plus our house is big enough for it, and we now have tons of toys. So at least til we can afford to settle on the house and get the car fixed and maybe a new one, well til then I am holding on to my job. They love me at work and it is good for my self esteem, mostly, but worrying about baby all day has been draining the last few days. So forgive me for not posting,I'll try harder in the next week. I hope I can keep up....