Wisdom from my walk

It’s been a rough week.  I spent most of Friday in bed, Dean stayed home so I could.  that morning was very bad for me, the worst I’ve felt in a long long time.   I feel amazingly better today, but every time I go up and down the stairs my legs remind me of how tired and weak I still am.  This afternoon caleb and I attended a birthday party for one of his classmates. I spent the two hours talking to his friend’s mom, who happens to be our neighbor.  She is also the one who gave us the info on the co-op preschool the boys are going to attend starting this week.  We’ve been talking a lot this last week and I’m looking forward to seeing her more and getting to know some more moms from the co-op this week too.  I’m also contemplating going to the PTO meeting at Caleb’s school on Tuesday night mostly for the same reason.

This morning I decided instead of doing my normal “wash and go” with my hair, which leaves it a curly mess all day that I’d blow dry and try to straighten out my hair some today.   the back always looks fine that way but the front is just to thick so I did this today, and got several compliments, and it kept the hair out of my eyes.  Just had to share an almost “good” hair day.  this is the longest my hair has been since I was a kid.  It’s so thick it’s annoying, but dean really likes long hair, so I’m doing my best to not go w/ my urge to cut it all off, as I am more used to short haircuts.   at least if I can put it up it’s no so bad.

I just dread winter when washing and going will be hard, not sure what I’ll do then w/ my curly q’s!

(this is how it would look if I just washed and let it air dry:)

here’s some pics Bo took this last week.  he’s been taking pics a lot lately, he doesnt have a clue what he’s doing but every now and then something good shows up, but not this week!  🙂

the one on the left was when I was giving Zeke a diaper change on the sofa

While I was out enjoying my 2 hours of kid free mommy time at moms group(albiet I know have to pay $10 for childcare, ugh that is going to get expensive)  my cousin in Baltimore we taking my grandpa to the hospital.  he’s been in and out for the last few months.   Days like today I feel so guilty for moving.  My friend sent me an email that said she hasnt had any fun since we moved, I again felt guilty.   Was it wrong for us to move 500 miles away from family and friends?   was it too selfish of us?

is it wrong for me to enjoy my new friends?  is it wrong for me to be glad I’m away from all the drama?

I just dont know how to feel.   I do miss it.  I really do…but life has to go on or else I’d be miserable and well, what fun is that?

time to go help my boys paint….

He looked up at me and the camera and said “cheese!” 

I’ve added a link on the side to my flickr acct, going to go pro on it later today when I get time. 

Did they really need to do a study to confirm this?  Really…we already know what men want!  Dean cracked me up last night, the gist of what he said was that he was one lucky geek, that he got to come home to me at night.   that not all geeks are that lucky, to have someone to come home to.   I’ll leave out what else he said, but that was the gist of it!   🙂

I’m sitting out on our deck watching the boys play while I get bored online.  I’m just not motivated today, I am tired and just out of sorts.   the boys have early intervention this afternoon, trying to decide if we’ll do anything before then.  I really need to go buy some new crib sheets for Zeke.  Poor kid is still using ones we used when Caleb was a baby, needless to say they are a little gross and falling apart!   I cant decide what to do w/ his room, theme wise.  We’ve got the john lennon set now for his crib, and I want to try to stick w/ that and/or just animals to match it until he’s in a twin bed.   it should be easy to do right, but theres no toddler bed sheet sets that really match.  I suppose I’m going to just use a plain crib sheet, but I wish I could find a sheet set, so he’d have a flat sheet that matches.   I found some online but the prices are nuts.   Maybe I could find some fabric and make something, or find someone who can.

dean’s got plans this evening so I’ll be solo w/ the kids all day and evening.  Oh something to look forward to…and I’m already unmotivated to do much.   going to be a long day…….

Who would have thought a millionaire would ever come from Dundalk! (that’s where I spent the second half of my childhood) I actually know this man! I guess at one point he was even in my family, sort of. My step-father(ex step-father since they are divorced) is his uncle I believe, I definitely have heard of him and I remember his kids. I don’t blame the man for looking for some sort of religion, as the religion my step father would have shown to him was what made me turn sourly away from church as well. I could say more but I’d hate to talk badly about church, esp. since in the past I’ve been accused of saying things about people that I never said so I wont. But….I don’t blame him for looking for something more in his life, just wish someone had turned him in a different direction is all. Too bad he probably wouldn’t remember me….I could use a relative who is worth millions!! 🙂

Just wanted to share this link to how you can view our services that they record. On August 19th I ran the switcher and Dean the robo cams. today’s service I was on a camera on the floor and Dean was on the robo cams. I’m so excited to know that my mom is planning a trip out here in December. I cant wait to show her what we do at church and show her our new neighborhood. I wish my best friend would come visit too….Will I know you cant live w/out her but if you can send her our way for a few days…..I wish I could get folks to come visit us, I really do get homesick sometimes. but our church is so much like home and the more plugged in we get w/ the kids schools and our neighborhood it just seems so comfortable, but theres still so much I miss from Baltimore….so many of you I wish I could get on a plane to be here to experience things w/ us here. So many back there that I know are in need of a shoulder to cry on or just a listening ear…..you know who you are….call me!!

We went to a picnic w/ Dean’s parents church after serving at our church this morning. I was so wiped out though so we didnt stay long. We came home and we all napped, we were glad caleb was staying w/ Dean’s parents another night, theres no making that boy nap, but the little ones did so we all we able to rest after a busy morning. then we had dinner and enjoyed the nice weather by letting the boys play out back while Dean and I played on our laptops. The kids are in bed, as is Dean. I’m postponing cleaning up by posting, but I really should get myself back in bed too. We are supposed to be going to Hocking Hills tomorrow w/ Dean’s parents but Dean and I still arent feeling well. he’s had some sort of cold for at least a week and well my usual health issues, we’re not sure if either of us will survive the two hour drive there then hiking w/ the kids and another 2 hour drive back. We’re going to see how we feel in the morning, hopefully we’ll get a good nights rest, unlike the last few. So glad tomorrow everyones off of work! I of course dont get a day off, but after getting a break when serving at church last night and this morning I feel refreshed. it’s nice to find something I enjoy and seem to be halfway decent at doing and while at the same time serving others, and not having to deal w/ my kids for a few hours is nice too! I can see why some women work full time and dont stay home, it’s definitely satisfying, but after sitting and reading to my kids for the last half hour, if not more, I realize that I’m glad to have the chance to be with them and help them learn and grow each day.

it’s amazing how much Bo has changed these last few weeks. he’s becoming a preschooler more and more. He’s speaking in sentences, although half the time I’m still the only one who understands him. He’s loving reading books, as is Zeke. Zeke’s fascinated these days w/ climbing though, and every now and then is surprising us w/ a new word. Caleb’s still a bit of a challenge. he can be great some times, doing just what we ask when we ask and using manners, then other times he’s oscar the grouch. it really can get bad when he’s in his moods, he’s even hit Dean and I on occasion. We’ve yet to figure out how to beat him at this game he plays w/ us. When he’s in these moods there just no reaching him, he thinks we’re horrible mean people and will often tell us we dont love him, even after we repeatedly tell him we do love him we just dont like the way he acts sometimes. but aside from his mood swings, he’s doing well. He’s reading and developing a true talent and desire for music. I know it’s something we need to look into helping him nurture, he’s got a great voice for his age and can learn lyrics just after one or two times of hearing the song, he gets that from me. I’m so proud of him!

well I am sure dean’s wondering what happened to me, he took his laptop to bed w/ him, but I’m down here in the living room w/ mine. Like I said, I’m avoiding household chores …..time to get back to reality! (unfortunately)

Ugh…my email isnt working.  I know people have sent me emails and they dont always come through.  where are they?!?!  i dont have a spam folder so I guess they are just getting lost somewhere?  It’s really frustrating since I had listed tons on craigslist and I’m wondering if that’s why I havent gotten any emails about it?

we volunteered to work this weekend on the tech team since our friends were going to be out of town.  the leader said he’d switch around some people’s positions since we dont work the same ones that our friends do.   So we showed up and before our tech meeting he introduced me to the guy who was going to be training me on a new position!  I had no clue.  Dean said it was probably a good thing so that I didnt stress about it all week long til today.  He’s probably right, but I’ve got all night to stress about how I’ll do for the three services tomorrow!  I’m running one of the cameras on the floor, something I’ve never done.  I did the second half of the service tonight, not sure if I’m solo all morning tomorrow or not.   Worried it’s going to be hard to do for three services since it hurt my arms the little I did tonight, darn fibromyalgia.  I’m excited to learn something new, but wish I had known ahead of time!!  (I’m going to make sure I dose up on some tylenol before we go just to be safe for tomorrow! )

Bo and Caleb are spending the night w/ Dean’s parents so we just have Zeke tonight.   So we went to church and to dinner afterward to Chipotle, so much easier w/ just one kiddo!   then we went to Walmart to pick up a few things, which always ends up being a lot of things.  I’d be asleep already but I bought some cookie dough and am waiting for a tray to bake for my bedtime snack! 😉

We have to be at church from 8 a.m til almost 1 tomorrow then we’re heading to the park to meet Dean’s parents to get the kids.   I’m hoping to get a nap sometime after that!  we spent all of this morning cleaning the yard and the shed out.  It’s a beautiful day here, or rather was now that its almost over!

well my cookies are done, so off to enjoy a warm one and to go to bed!  hope everyones having a great weekend!