Wisdom from my walk

curves closes at 8 M-Thurs. and on Friday at 7.  Since they dont have childcare I have to go when Dean gets home, but their busy time is after 6, 6:30p.m.  Since they close early tonight I wanted to make sure I was there as soon as I could be.  So yesterday and tonight i didnt eat dinner w/ the family, but let it be noted that dinner was ready for the rest of the gang before I left, but instead of eating I went to work out.   so this is my 3rd time this week and I dont feel crappy, in fact I feel great!  My heart rate has been up like it should be , so I know I’m working hard through the work out but afterward I feel so much better!  hoping I can say the same after two days of doing it in a row.  If so I’m going to go tomorrow morning since they close early tomorrow and I wont be able to work out there on Sunday.   Hoping it’s really helping, even though for now I dont feel any bad side effects from it.   I was bad though and came home tonight and ate a peice of lasagna I’d made, but at least it wasnt pie or cookies I suppose!  🙂

my kids have taken on to liking music as much as I do.  We often listen to music all day long no matter what else we’re doing.  several times this week I’ve found that Zeke is singing.  While I’ve yet to figure out what he’s singing about, he’s definitely got rhythm and a songy voice, as opposed to Bo’s just loudly saying words to songs!   just now as he ate breakfast he was going on and on in song, about what I have no clue, but it’s freaking adorable!!

Dean and I were up late watching tv and as we turned off the tv and listened to a storm brewing outside, I heard an odd siren. it’s not often you hear anything loud in our neighborhood other than the 2 neighbors motorcycles, and I waited a minute and realized it was a tornado siren. I made Dean get up and get the kids downstairs w/ me. For being exhausted man I was motivated! I have never really been so scared in my whole life. I didnt care how far away it was or want to bother w/ trying to turn the tv to find out what was going on, that could be done, after my kids were all in the basement! We all laid down in the basement for a while and after the sirens stopped and Dean turned the tv on to find out if the threat had passed we decided to stop fighting w/ the kids, who wanted to play not sleep, and it was after midnight and dean and I were so tired…we went back up to our beds. But convincing the kids things were safe after uprooting them from sleep for a tornado warning was hard work. Caleb was scared and ended up sleeping on the floor in my room. I am surprised I fell asleep so easily, but I did a curves workout, a 1 mile walk and a walk through the neighborhood yesterday so my body was done! I think it’s the first time I’ve ever been completely filled w/ fear for the safety of my kids….it’s going to be tough to live in a place where tornado sirens are common in certain seasons. we have never done family escape drills, and I’m thinking after last night Dean and I at least need a better plan with how to get the kids out and keep them still mostly sleeping and unafraid! I’m exhausted this morning, and caleb’s off of school. No plans other than hoping to go to Curves again tonight, and I have all the makings of a lasagna that I’ve been craving all week! Zeke’s eating today, he seems to be starving, so hoping it stays down and that no one else gets sick. he’s cutting his last teeth for a while I think, so we think that’s why he’s sick. hope everyone else stays safe in this crazy weather we’ve had lately!

It’s one of those days outside that make you want to stay under the covers in bed all day, it’s gloomy, windy, rainy and just blah out!  BUT I was looking forward to getting out to go to Moms group this morning, had grand plans to be on time for once and have time to chat beforehand.   BUT of course Zeke’s increasing clingyness and grouchiness came to a head this morning and he feels fevered and he threw up.  he just wants to be held and I just need to catch up on a zillion chores since we’ve been so busy this week. …..SO I suppose we’ll be hanging inside on this gloomy day and all wishing we were elsewhere.  caleb gets out of school early today and is off tomorrow.  I am going to go nuts if we’re stuck inside w/ sick kids these two days and even worse if it ruins our weekend plans…..selfish I know…BUT…..both Zeke and Bo have been grabbing at their ears and saying it hurts…I dont know why they’d both get an ear infection right now, they dont have colds or anything…..and so far there’s no ear drainage to let us see that they do have an infection.  at this point it’s a waiting game to see who gets sick w/ what I suppose…and hoping it’s not something major since the school sent home  a letter saying someone at Calebs grade has chicken pox.   hoping their vaccine for that does its job.

Caleb’s been learning all about pumpkins at school. Every day he comes home asking to carve a pumpkin and scoop out the insides.  Today’s cost to the farm included free pumpkins for everyone who paid, so we got 3, and Caleb needed one to take to school next week for a project.  So…I bought him a bigger one today that we could carve.   he had fun and so did I .   I like how it turned out…at one point one of the “bat” parts broke off…I’m a newbie to pumpkin carving…but I inventively used a chopstick broken to fit the size to fit the broken bat back in place!!  I can make mistakes, but at least I learn how to fix them!

I’m loving the kids at this age. SO much easier than toting around two “babies” now I’ve got one who acts like a preschooler and a toddler. I cant wait til I’ve got all school agers but I’m sure that will come w/ its downside too.

Took Zeke and Bo on a field trip today to Shaw’s Farm. It reminded me a lot of where we went last year, this time last year Dean was working here and I was at home alone w/ the boys. I had to think about what I did for Halloween then, but then I remembered, and it made me sad. I know we’ll have good holidays here too, but w/ the holiday seasons upon us i’m starting to ache for the comforts of the family and friends we left behind. we’re getting so involved now w/ different groups it’s hard to feel lonely, and I daresay I’ve found a new good friend(thanks Malinda for being so open to hanging out w/ our rowdy gang of boys!) and lots of other budding relationships abound, for Dean, for me, and for the boys. It’s been a year since we first found out we’d be moving here for sure. A year since Dean’s been working here. A year since I had a near 2 year old and a 7 month old…life changes so quickly, sometimes things change so much in a day and we have no choice but to take notice, other times life changes subtly over time and by the time we realize it’s too late to cherish those days. I can remember last year, I can remember the hard times apart from Dean and I am so looking forward to the upcoming holidays spent at our new home w/ our new friends, but am also glad my best friend from MD will be here for thanksgiving and my mom comes in December, a few weeks after susan actually, but well before Christmas. so many changes….but at least some things will never change….our ninth year wedding anniversary is coming up, I graduated high school in 1997, ten years ago. that’s also when we decided to stay together for good, so we’ve been together a good solid 10 years, but just 9 years of marriage. I”m only 28 so for me that’s a long time to be w/ the same person, but I am loving every new day and new year w/ my love!

just because I find it so interesting and ironic…I had a dream last night that we were going through the in vitro fertilization process secretly, none of our family or friends knew…and I remember saying to Dean…how can we afford all of this money to make this baby when we cant even afford the kids we have(not entirely true, just cant afford all the things they want  and I want them to have!)!?   I have reason to think it’s related to the crazy hormonal crap going on w/ me…hoping I dont find out next month at my gyn appt that all of this means early menopause…cause I wouldnt really be suprised w/ how I’ve been feeling lately, since the other dr never call w/ abnormal thyroid results(which is good, since she said they’d only call if the results were bad), and I’ve checked my sugar for the last two days and it’s been fine….so must be something else causing me to feel crazy….and women can blame everything on hormones right?