Wisdom from my walk

There is a reason women get pregnant again and again, we’re forgetful. As soon as you deliver that beautiful baby all the pain and torment of the past 10 months fades away. God has given us the ability to forget a great deal about how hard pregnancy and labor is. I think it’s a good thing that we have this ability, or else no one would ever procreate after the first time! Well I didn’t complete forget all of the pregnancy symptoms, and in fact each day when I’d wake w/ an aching calf muscle I’d be thankful it was just achy and hadn’t turned into a full blown leg cramp. While pregnant w/ Caleb the first time I awoke mid-night in excrutiating leg pain I cried while Dean tried to massage the pain away. It’s truly a horrible feeling and not knowing how long it will last doesnt help. So this morning when I awoke to extreme pain radiating down my leg to my foot I immediately tried to calm down and wait it out. This was no easy thing to do, in fact this cramp is worse than any I had w/ Caleb, that or I’ve forgotten! it lasted for quite a long time during which I awoke caleb because I was screaming and crying for the pain to go away! I think it’s completely unfair that w/ all of the problems pregnant women have to face that we get blessed with this horrible pain on top of everything else. meanwhile the men that “created” this problem for us, ie got us pregnant, just get to sleep comfortably for 10 months and then one day they become fathers. 5 minutes, or less, of work for the father of the child and 10 months of pain and problems for the mom, and thats not counting the 18 years to follow the actual giving birth!

I am very glad I am pregnant. I love being pregnant, most of the time. I hate being pregnant when I cant sleep at night due to indigestion, cramps, or having to pee non stop. I hate being pregnant when I’m standing over the toilet throwing up. I hate being pregnant when all I want to do is sleep and my toddler wants me to play w/ him or the dog wont stop whining to go out or in. yes the good of being pregnant eventually outweighs the bad, but as I sit here w/ a leg that will hurt all day from a leg cramp I had when waking up I begin to hate the responsibility women have. We always seem to get the raw deal of things, men generally have things so much easier. Thats my complaint for the day, I know I should be grateful to be pregnant and I am, but after this morning I will dread every night of sleep because any and every morning I could possibly have to deal w/ these horrible leg cramps for the next 3 months. I wouldnt wish that kind of pain on anyone, even though I wanted to wish it on Dean this morning as he told me to calm down, you calm down when it feels like someone is stabbing you in the leg over and over again for a good ten minutes! blah, the joys of pregnancy!

well I have decided that those who do not yet know the name we picked are going to have to wait to find out until the baby is here. I’ve had one too many people openly crack up laughing when I’ve told them. It’s one thing to not like the name but at least contain yourself. we picked the name for certain reasons and really like it, not to mention it’s our child not yours. It’s a shame though that people are so rude about it because it’s a great name and has a wonderful meaning behind it. Sorry a few had to ruin it for the rest of you! only a few more months and everyone else can find out!

I ended up having a very long day yesterday. I forgot about having to babysit and was late to the Crablogs meetup at Bay Cafe. I really like that place by the way! I’d love to get Dean there for a date, the atmosphere is great. I didnt show up til 8 and Dean showed up closer to the correct time, 6! So by the time Caleb and I arrived and ate some food Dean was ready to get going. So needless to say I didnt get to really talk to anyone, which was probably better as I was extremely exhausted by the time I got there. Caleb liked it because we sat outside and the decor as caleb puts it is “jungle” and the floor is covered w/ sand, so he had a huge sandbox to play in while we chatted, which made for quite a mess. By the time we got him home and bathed he was more than ready for bed, as were Dean and I!

One more teeny tiny vent and then I’m out of here for today. A while back I won an auction on ebay and paid quickly on paypal and then the item never arrived. the seller said they sent it and ok fine maybe they did, but we never got it. It was something I really wanted. Two weeks ago I win an auction and pay for it and wait for it to arrive. It hasnt arrived and after two emails to the seller I’ve still yet to hear from them. I am getting highly frustrated. I could understand it happening once, but to get screwed twice on ebay is too much. I’m trying to be patient and hope the darn thing comes but if it doesnt someone iis going to have to get me my money back. I rarely try to win any auctions on ebay but every time I do I get screwed. Dean on the other hand has never had a problem. Maybe I should start having him do my auctioning for me! blah!! I want my darn stuff now!!!! Ok enough whining for today, hope everyone enjoys the weekend. This humidity is dragging in some rain tonight and tomorrow so it ought to be a gray weekend, but we’ve got plenty to keep us busy.

Well I made a mistake and forogot that I have to babysit for a bit tomorrow night, so we’ll be late to the bloggers meetup that I mentioned yesterday, but we’ll be there.

Today I had my 24 week ob appt and another u/s. At my first u/s they couldnt check for cleft lip (spelling?) and couldnt see all of the heart chambers clearly, today they could, and both of those things are fine. She started doing the measurements and said the head looks right on target for 24 weeks 1 day, then did his belly, which is measuring large at 25 weeks 6 days! His femur also is measuring somewhere at 25 weeks +. I mentioned how I was worried about gestational diabetes again since I had it w/ caleb and the u/s tech said that the baby’s belly is usually the measurement that is bigger if the mom has gest. diabetes, so thats not a good sign. When the ob measured my belly today all she said was yes, he’s definitely meauring big but didnt give me details, I know I should have asked.

I hadnt seen this dr in the practice before but she was great. She asked me if I’d thought about my delivery options and when we talked about how caleb only weighed in at 7 lbs 9 oz and I couldnt deliver him vaginally she said that I more than likely wont be able to deliver this one vaginally then since he’s already big. I was starting to consider VBAC before but after talking to the dr today it’s almost a sure thing we’ll get a c-section, just a matter of when.

my blood pressure was a little up and the dr said I’ve gained 8 lbs, overall I believe. But I feel much better now knowing that this major belly burst was all baby weight! Caleb didnt measure big until week 40 so I’m somewhat suprised Baby B is already measuring ahead. It will be odd if this baby is a lot bigger than caleb was but I guess if I’m having a c-section that doesnt really matter too much. So I go back in 4 weeks for an ob appt and another glucose test. The dr said theres a “small” chance I wont develop diabetes during this pregnancy, so we’ll know more after that appt and test. But if the baby is already big I’ll be suprised if I dont have diabetes.

overall the appt went well, the baby’s heartbeat was 150 and everything looked good, just big!!

I hate to say it but if he’s being honest, which would be a suprising thing for him to do, I may have to say I have something in common w/ Dabrettman. I am not at all social and the thought of my even going to an event for the sole purpose of engaging people in conversation is beyond me, but yet I think I’ve made up my mind to attend this gathering of local bloggers on Thursday. Dean always does his best to attend meetups like these w/ Baltimore bloggers and comes home happy about having met the people he reads about all of the time. I try to think no one reads my blog but know it’s not true as every now and then I’ll get a comment from someone and think who the hell is that, and Dean will know right away just by the name. I feel bad I dont keep up w/ others blogs if they keep up w/ mine, but then again I think who would want to read about the mundane life of a pregnant stay at home mom, and yet people do. I dont know why but they do. So I guess the point is thanks for reading and I look forward to possibly meeting some new bloggers on Thursday.

I feel guilty for feeling this way, but I am really struggling w/ how “big” i’ve gotten in the last few days. I can still wear my non maternity shorts and pants but I have a definite huge baby “pooch” as Dean calls it. I saw my mom less than a week ago and she kept saying how not pregnant I look. Last night we attended a wedding and I felt so fat, and today is no better. my mom even noted that now I definitely look pregnant now. yes I know I am supposed to get fat but I was doing so good but now I look like I’ve been eating non stop but I havent. Heck I’m even still throwing up daily so I know I”m not gaining as much as I could. I am just in a general blah mood today, more than likely due to lack of sleep and a toddler who refuses to listen to me but listens great to “daddy” So today when I choose to finally lay down the law all he does is cry and scream for daddy. I am too tired to deal w/ this on top of his screaming about his teeth still hurting. I feel like a bad mom, a big fat bad mom.

I’m still having an anxiety attack from what my son just did. I was in the kitchen and he said he was going potty. He ran to the kitchen and said the water was leaking in my bathroom, I ran and the toilet was leaking water everywhere. I thought maybe he broke a valve off or something and tried to check everything but couldnt figure out what was broke. I couldnt get to the main valve to turn the water off in the house becuase it’s in our storage room and was behind three big speakers and a tv that Dean’s brother has been storing here forever (another gripe that I wont go into)

Knowing I couldnt shut the main water off and knowing turning the water on the toilet itself off wasnt helping I was in tears and Caleb was in tears and tried to no avail to reach Dean. No answer at work. No answer on his cell. I called both number a zillion times. I was hoping a male neighbor would be home but was too upset and caleb wouldnt put his underwear back on so I couldnt exactly leave, not to mention the toilet at this point had leaked so bad the basement ceiling below our bathroom was now leaking and the basement was starting to flood. I finally called my mom at work trying to get someone to help, her co-worker talked me through getting it to mostly stop leaking. I finally calmed down after the water stopped leaking as much. Needless to say our basement ceiling is ruined and there was a huge mess to clean up there and in our bathroom. We really dont have the money to fix any of this mess.

Finally Dean answered his cell, saying it was the first time it had rung, yeah right. His co-worker brought him home and turns out there is a crack in the toilet, no wonder I couldnt stop it, as long as there was water in there it was going to leak. Caleb had taken the top off the toilet and it fell in the back of the toilet, cracking the toilet. He told me he just wanted to see the water in there.

I am now trying to regain my compusure and trying to calm down enough to nap while Caleb falls asleep next to me on the bed while Dean cleans up the mess. It’s been a day and I am so glad it’s Friday. maybe while he’s home dean can find a roofer to give us an estimate for our leaking living room ceiling. yes our house seems to be falling apart around. guess our run of good things is coming to an end. lucky us.