Wisdom from my walk

Boaz 4.5 months (taken while in ohio)

boaz and Caleb

Amy, boaz, Caleb, Dean

Yesterday I was doing fine w/ dealing w/ my recently diagnosed condition, that is emotionally I was handling the news fairly well. I was glad after I was finally able to schedule an appt w/ the specialist, even if it was a month away. My pcp told me that she’d like me to be seen by an endocronologist in 1-2 weeks but after having a hard time getting an appt I took what I could and thought things would be fine. Until today….

Today my pcp finds out my appt isnt until May 12th and spends time trying to find me an appt sooner but has no luck finding one who takes my insurance. I finally talk to her and tell her I found one but I cant get in til next month. She preceeds to tell me that she was going to start me on meds but knows that I am nursing and would want me to stop nursing in order to take the meds. She told me she doesnt want to do that to me since the specialist might decide (when I do get to see them that is) that they dont need the meds or that something else could work better for me. I mention to her that I cant stop nursing yet becuase my son, the spoiled child he is, refuses to take a bottle. He occassionally has taken a bottle if I feed him but more often then not he just refuses to eat from a bottle. She said well then thats not an option. She continues to tell me that while it’s still not an emergent situation that we cant not start treatment soon due to the symptoms I’m having. Throughout the conversation it becomes apparent to me that she may have downplayed the seriousness of this at my appt on Monday. She ends our conversation stating that if we cant get an appt sooner that she will admit me to the hospital for further testing and to see an endo on call there. This is the last thing I want to hear or have happen.

what went from not an emergency to needing to possibly need hospilized was too much for me, especially in my current condition. She told me to start trying harder to give the baby a bottle and to talk to my health insurance company. I was out and about when I was talking to her on my cell phone so didnt think I’d get anywhere today. Luckily I thought first to call the dr I have the appt w/ for next month, since I had a great chat w/ the receptionist there yesterday. The same girl answered the phone, thank God! She remembered me and I her so that was a good start. I told her the situation and she put me on hold to check w/ the dr. They moved my appt up til next Wednesday which should make my pcp happy, we are praying that it will. I’ve since left her a message but havent heard back from her. She’s (my pcp) having me do more blood work tomorrow to see how things are going with my thyroid levels.

I was doing just fine thinking that things were going to be ok and that I shouldnt be too worried, until she mentioned the darn hospital. I feel bad, some times really bad, other times I wouldnt even know I was sick. Right now I’m back to being scared. Apparently I have symptoms that are rare to have w/ this conditions which w/ my health really isnt all that suprising, when my body screws up it does it in grand form. If I wasnt having the symptoms I am so badly then she wouldnt be so concerned, or so she said. I wanted to laugh and tell her what’s new, my body is a mess and no one will be able to tell me why it’s so screwy. So while i do have commom symptoms of this condition, the tingling all over is not so common and my stomach is worse then is normal I guess and bpth are worrisome to the dr. I just want to sleep, today this is my biggest complaint, being tired and having a killer headache, partly from the thyroid the rest from the stress no doubt.

I was really looking forward to the womens retreat this weekend and am hoping I am feeling well enough to enjoy the weekend but I dont know. I’m praying that if I get my blood work tomorrow morning that they will have the results Friday, but I dont know what will happen if it’s worse. Although I dont know how my TSH level can get much lower than what it is, it was 0.02 on Friday. It should be between 0.4-5.5. I guess the concern is if any of my other levels become affected. Fun stuff this being sick again. I really hate to complain because I know others have it worse, I just dont know how I get so lucky to be blessed with so many health struggles at my age. Oh well at least I will lose some weight by the time they fix me!!! well the kids are waking up and I’m really hoping for a nap when Dean gets home, heck I might just go to bed for the night if I can manage it. I guess I’ll wake up to feed the picky eater who only likes momma milk straight from the source…..if I have to! 😉

Once again, tests confirm that I am abnormal. What this time you ask? I was just diagnosed w/ hyperthyroidism. Ony symptom is weight loss, I’ve lost 27 lbs since having Boaz 4 1/2 months ago. One of those pounds I’ve lost since Friday! I’m glad to be losing weight and she said that some people would rather stay off of meds for this condition so they continue to lose weight, heck if thats an option I might too! I’m somewhat glad that this is the diagnosis today, if these tests had come back normal then I was going to have to see the neurologist and more than likely get another spinal tap. Sure this might means meds for the rest of my life, the thyroid stuff that is, but it doesnt mean a spinal tap and that is ok with me!!

The dr actually said to cut back on exercising and to try to rest my body for now. She’s adamant about being seen by a specialist soon so thats the next step. They will probably want me to start meds but I dont know how that will work with nursing Boaz. So my next step is seeing the specialist and then we go from there. I’m glad they know what is wrong but at the same time I’m worried about the future. Mom said it can affect having more children so this might be a deciding factor in a lot of the treatment plans. Right now my biggest fear is how this will affect Boaz and nursing him. I’m hoping it’s not going to make me have to stop nursing, one becuase it’s going well and # 2 because formula is expensive, as will all these new doctors expenses and eventually medications.

Ironically I feel a lot better already, I think knowing what we are dealing with is helping my mindset. it also helps to know that my mom has been through this and she is fine, she is on meds all of the time and will be forever but I guess that is how life will be for me. It could be worse and heck for now I can just sit back and lose weight and not have to work at it! 😉 Well I have to get, just wanted to update as much as I could.

Sorry for all the whining earlier, I hate being ill and I feel like in the last few years I’ve been hit with a lot healthwise and I am not too thrilled about having something new to add to the mix. i’m sure they are all in some way connected, but for now we’ll focus on what we can. Today i’m going to focus on continuing to spend this wonderful warm sunny day w/ my boys.

one day last week, I cant believe I was sitting closeby when I let this happen…we were painting w/ sidewalk paint on the driveway when he thought it would be fun to paint his hands and then clap….thank goodness spray and wash does such a good job, that was a new shirt

the little brother

Batman Cake April 2005 -grey should have been lighter but I messed up

my brother and his son jack

I am going to not write for a few days until I feel better, if I do it’ll be all complaining about how I feel. i’ll make sure to update w/ what happens at my drs appointment if I feel up to it. Today is pretty bad, I guess on top of everything I’m getting a cold or something. I’ll be glad to get back to the doctor so I can find out what the heck is going on with my body. The cake turned out well enough, the sad part was several times I was on the verge of going to the store to buy a cake for the party, that’s how bad I felt. I even had the kept stopping decorating it several times because my hands were shaky and weak, and in the end hurt. I cant lose my ability to do what I love!!! I got past the diabetes scare and now I dont know what to expect to happen w/ my health. So please pray I feel better soon and that this is just normal for my body getting back to normal after the baby and that it needs time to adjust.

Who would have thought having a baby would make you more likely to develop a myriad of diseases during the post partum phase? I swear I never knew things like this could happen. Makes me wonder what other conditions out there that you can develop after having a baby. Women sure do get the raw deal healthwise. we not only have to carry the baby for 10 months, we then have to deliver the baby, then we have to hope we can stay healthy enough to care for said baby for the next 18 years. Makes me wonder why we even agree to be mothers. But then I see my boys and know that they are worth it, I just wish I could be a healthy mother for their sake. Sorry I’m really bummed today about things. Good news, i got the cake and cupcakes made for my nephews 5th birthday party tomorrow, I’ll try to get pics up before the weekend is over, but no gaurentees. well I have got to get some sleep, I am wiped out.

I have to go back to the dr on Monday to go over the blood work results from today’s blood work. The though is that my thyroid is the problem. It was enlarged today. My symptoms that were bothering me the most right now are that I’m tingling all over, the worst though is in my face. It feels like my body is numb/ or like it all feel asleep, like the pins and needles when a hand or feet falls asleep. On top of that my stomach is always upset or just not functioning right in some way or another. I’ve lost 26 lbs since having the baby and while that is good the dr thought that that is quite a quick weight loss even for just having a baby, or esp. for just having a baby. There are other symptoms but Boaz needs me, just wanted to update some. If it’s not thyroid issue’s I’ll have to go back to the neurologist. Chances are though it’s thyroid related as my mother and all of her sisters and even my grandmom I think have thyroid issues. My mom developed her problems after having my brother. I was thinking the other day that it’s suprising I havent gotten it yet. So I’ve escaped the diabetes but who knows what is going to happen now with this other stuff. On top of already feeling bad, my body decided that since Boaz is sleeping through the night and heck it’s been how long since I had a normal “cycle” (trying to be nice for the male readers) that today would be the day to slam me w/ symptoms I’ve avoided for 13 months now…..blah! Not to mention this was after I took a pregnancy test this morning so when I went to the dr and they asked if there was a chance that I could be pregnant I could confidently answer them, what a waste of a test! 😉 Sad part is Dean was kind of bummed about the negative test. Crazy man! It’s one of those days and I just want to crawl in bed and cry and sleep…..but there’s a cake to be made and housework to be done…..maybe Sunday I can rest. Did I mention I wasnt able to sleep last night because this “tingling” feeling was annoying and I was kind of stressed about the whole idea of new and different health problems. I just cant get a break. My body hates me.

hey this is interesting, I didnt get pseudo tumor symptoms as bad until my third trimester of pregnancy w/ Caleb, when I was diagnosed w/ diabetes and then started drinking diet soda. A year after Caleb I was diagnosed w/ PTC(pseudo tumor) . I still drink diet soda and still get PTC symptoms…hmmm….makes me wonder. but if I give up diet soda I’ll have to drink just water as I wont drink sodas w/ sugar. man that sucks. Guess I’ll stick w/ the diet soda for now. But that article would prove my MIL right who is always warning me about artificial sweetners. oh well. I just cant get a break….limit your sugar but dont use artificial sweetners. Eat healthier….but fruits contain more sugar that my body doesnt handle well. ok so eat more veggies….nope that kills my irritable stomach. Guess point is I just should stop eating all together. Sorry for rambling on, like I said I’ve had a crazy day….and I’m kind of bummed about things…