Wisdom from my walk

Yay! Boaz doesnt have pneumonia!!! now if we can all start to feel better soon……as I lay here struggling to breathe w/ chest pains…blah! I hate being sick! I cant imagine how my little guy feels! His first ear infection already, I guess mommas milk isnt as good as it should be. Everything I read says breasfeeding keeps mom and baby healthier, that baby gets immunities well not so much in our case. I wonder if my immune problems leaves Boaz without any immunities too. I have plans to babysit in the morning and a baby shower cake to be made for Saturday afternoon….I better start to improve soon or my weekend is going to be shot.

Yesterday around 4:30 I was wise enough to make Boaz a drs appt for this morning, I knew I was lucky to get a 10:15 appt because I’d have to get Caleb to preschool(catonsville) by 9:15 then across town(dundalk) to the appt. Boaz’s current dx is an ear infection and asthma maybe? she put him on an antibiotic and he has to start nebulizer treatments. She also sent us for a STAT x-ray which meant it was now almost 11 and I was trying to figure out how to get the x-ray and get to pick up Caleb by 11:45! Dean talked to Caleb’s teacher and she agreed to keep caleb until I got there. Praise God for STAT orders, we were in and out of the xray place and even had time to drop off the prescriptions at the pharmacy to pick up later. I pulled into the preschools driveway at 11:44!! i still dont know how I did it but by the grace of God. I am stressed and feel horrible. I’ve had a bad cough and chest pains since yesterday(the chest pain part) I’m praying Boaz doesnt have pneumonia, I’m waiting for the dr to call. She should have the x-ray results w/in the hour. (or so that’s what the radiologist said!) If he does have it I’ll guess I’ll make myself an appt for tomorrow since my cough has gotten progressively worse as well over the last few days. So on top of my health issues and medical bills we now are having to deal with this. Life can never be easy and I’m just blessed because despite how sick he is my little Bo is not as fussy as he could be. He instead just wants to sleep poor little guy. So please pray for us as we wait for his test results and for mine from yesterday!!

This is too funny, especially for those of us who grew up quizzing, got to the love the thing that helped me meet my hubby. (I made Dean prove to me it was a joke)

Can you believe this story? I know I can, I know of some churches that totally judge you by how you dress/look. This is so sad because Christ accepted everyone yet most of today’s churches fail at this every time. The worst part is that the secular world realizes our(the Church’s) faults but most of those inside these types of churches dont even realize that their judgemental ways are wrong. Sorry that’s my rant for today. Ironically a few days ago I had drafted a post about this same topic, but didnt and wont post it because I know it will upset many of my readers. It’s sad to have to keep quiet when you know there are people out there existing in churches that are in need of guidance. I know no church is perfect but there has to be a way to help other churches who are in danger of hurting a lot of people(and indeed have already hurt a lot of people) if they dont change their ways and listen to what the community around them has to say. Sorry I know this isnt really about that article I linked to it, it just brought up my recent frustrations w/ some churches.

Dr’s appt went well, very uneventful. Got a ton of blood work taken today which is never fun. He wants me to get a MRI, that meant I had to take the RX script he gave me to my primary care to get them to give me a “real” referral to the MRI because my insurance is annoying. Then I finally was able to call and make an appt for the MRI. I was hoping to get in on May 10th since Dean is off all day but they couldnt get me in til the 12th and I remembered I’m babysitting all day on Monday and Tuesday anyway so I really couldnt have gone then. So we wait for the bloodwork to come back and then for the MRI results. I hate waiting. There’s nothing I can but wait though so I guess like Dean said I should just get on with my life and stop worrying about it, easier said than done. Well Caleb is dying for attention so I need to get.

update on Boaz, he slept all day yesterday and I think I figured out why. I had been dosing myself up w/ benadryl since Sunday night and all day yesterday so the poor guy was knocked out from the meds in my milk…..I’m a horrible mom! so I guess no more allergy meds for me which will make for an unhappy mommy, but I cant stand to think I’m what made him so groggy and sleepy all day.

The “blahs” are still hanging around our house. I feel worse today than I have so I’m guessing it’s my turn to get this cold. Poor Boaz has been asleep almost all day. He was tossing and turning a lot last night but never really fully awake so Dean thinks he just didnt sleep well. This morning I kept trying to wake him and he’d just open his eyes see me then go back to sleep. Hoping it’s not from the benadryl I’ve been taking, I have to take something. He’s asleep again, I swear he’s been awake maybe for an 1 1/2 all day, I hope he sleeps tonight!

My drs appt is at 8 in the morning w/ the neurologist. The closer it gets the more anxious I get. I am looking forward to getting answers but scared at the same time. I think I’m more scared they wont be able to figure out what is wrong with me. I also get repeat thyroid blood work tomorrow to see how my levels are doing. I’ve definitely not as tired so I am guessing my thyroid is not as overactive as it was. but I still dont feel normal either. I’m hoping to make it until Boaz is 6 months until I have to stop nursing. today he took about 3 ounces of formula for me from a bottle, not all at once, about an ounce at a time. So that’s progress. I’ve been trying to pump and he’ll take bottles of BM somtimes, he usually takes the bottle when he’s his car seat. thats the only way I’ve gotten him to take one, when he’s sitting in the car seat. I’ve tried the high chair but he gets distracted by Caleb. Well looks like the sleeping Bo has finally decided he’s ready to join the family so I need to get. I’m hoping all goes well tomorrow so please pray for me and for peace no matter what we find out.

Today we celebrated Boaz’s baby dedication at church. it was a busy day but it was fun. Family and friends came over to celebrate the special occasion with us, we thought we were going to have a lot more people come over for lunch but that didnt happen as we planned so we were left with a ton of food. By the time everyone left it was about 5 and even though it was late we still tried to let the boys sleep. So after getting Caleb in bed Dean left for a movie w/ friends. I eventually fell asleep (as did Bo) while nursing. We woke up shortly before Dean got back.

Caleb kept complaining his head hurt and when Dean got home he said he was hot and turns out he did have a fever. He never ate dinner and just kept laying around. We gave him tylenol and the temperature kept rising. He kept saying his head hurt and was so miserable looking. We agreed to let him sleep on a matress in our room and before falling asleep he threw up and got another dose of tylenol. I’m really worried about him. He played all day w/ the kids who were here so I’m afraid whatever he has he’s given to everyone who was here. he was completely fine before he took a nap, at least he wasnt complaining about anything hurting or anything. He was fine all day. I hate when they get sick so suddenly. I’m afraid we’ll have a long night of getting up a lot so I should probably go to bed. Please pray Caleb gets better quickly and that none of us get sick. ( or anyone who was here today)

So what started as a happy joyous day has turned into a sad one as we watch Caleb be in pain, poor thing keeps saying his head hurts. I hope it’s just a flu but I’ve never seen or heard him act this way. Ever since my having meningitis I get so scared when he is sick, I’m so fearful his immune system will suck like mine does….I know he will be fine but he really wasnt doing too good this evening. I hate when kids get sick….I dont handle throw up well either…I told Dean if he’s throwing up tomorrow I dont know if I’ll be able to manage both kids on my own. last time Caleb was sick w/a stomach thing it was horrible trying to nurse one kid and help one who was always throwing up or having diarrhea. I dont know how moms with mulitple kids who get sick do it. This is one part of mother hood I truly hate…it’s a good thing Dean’s so good at it. Guess it’s a good thing I keep him around ! (love ya honey!) well all the boys, big one included, are sleeping so I’m off to watch the end of my tivo’ed Desperate housewives and get some rest in case the kids are up all night. I hope tonight isnt an indication of how the week will go….