Wisdom from my walk

Another morning outing with Zeke, this time to Ikea. We were in need of new silverware as somehow all of our spoons keep disappearing. This might have a lot to do with the fact certain children think spoons are digging tools and may or not take them to the yard to use and not return them to the house, just possibly. I dropped Zeke off in the childcare area and went on an adventure that was a first for me. I was alone shopping in Ikea. I had a whole hour without kids to walk around the heaven that is discount housewares with a decent amount of money in the bank to do some damage. I was proud of myself as I picked up many things, and my econ professor would be proud, did the opportunity cost analysis and put them promptly back. I picked Zeke up before my hour was up so that we could enjoy lunch there before I had to get him to school.

He wanted to eat in the kiddie sized seats so I sat at a table right next to it by myself where I could see him clearly. I ate my lunch and he ate his. Some other boys came over to play and talk with him and I got chatty with their moms who were one table over. They were eating together and had a baby in a high chair and I think two toddler aged kids running around the place adoring Zeke and his meal. They commmented on how well behaved Zeke was and they wished their sons, both years younger than Zeke, would learn from his example and sit down and eat. In inwardly laughed and offered encouragement.

I sat there quietly watching them as they tried to convince their young kids to eat their lunch amidst the chaos as I sat alone at my table while my son at his lunch quietly at his table. I wondered how I got to be so blessed. Then I laughed again to myself. I used to sit at their table. A few years ago I had kids those ages, and I’d take them to the store or a restaurant and fight the same fights. I’d lose them too. I won some battles, I lost more than I’d care to recount. But today I was bathing in the joy of being a mom to a 4th grader, a kindergartner, and a wonderfully behaved preschooler.

As I cleaned up our mess I composed a blog entry in my mind, and it was more eloquent than this, because since Friday I’ve learned many more lessons, blogged many more blogs in my mind of lessons I want to write about that I’m learning every day about how I’m growing as my kids grow. But I used to mourn the fact that I’ll no longer be able to have a baby, or that I’ll no longer have a little one running around, but on Friday as I sat looking at my son, and at those ladies struggling w/ those kids, I realized that I fought those battles, I’ve done my time and this is a new season. I’ve got new battles to fight and new things on the horizon.

There won’t be the joys of holding a newborn or watching a baby walk his first steps, but there will be the joys I get now, like watching Bo read and write by himself, watching Zeke do likewise. Hearing Caleb talk to me about life and death and his interests, to me, because despite his crappy attitude he does love me. I’ve exchanged diapers and those first days of potty training for a new kind of potty training, and I hate it equally, fighting over getting them to flush the toilet, and taking forever to poop in public and going potty before we leave the house!!

Just like in finance, there are cost. We give up one thing for the benefit of another. I realized on Friday that I am grateful to be done chasing toddlers and changing diapers, I’m too tired to do that. I’m glad I am able to these news things with my kids and be able to sit down and enjoy them doing it!!

I purchased the new Santa Fe Philadelphia Cooking Creme last week and decided I’d substitute it for the chili seasoning called for in my white chicken chili recipe. It was to die for!!

It was easy to make and a hit with the whole family, even my three boys, ages, 5, 6 and 9! The cooking creme made it creamy not spicy so we didn’t need to add sour cream like we usually do to tone down the spice for their taste buds!

Here’s how I made mine:

Cook diced chicken in frying pan w/ onions until chicken is no longer pink in the middle. Then add the Santa Fe cooking creme, frozen (but thawed) corn, Northern White Beans (or black beans if you like – or both for a better blend of flavors and textures!) and about 2 cups of water. I tossed in some taco seasoning for a little more flavor, was maybe just a shake or two of my taco seasoning shaker, you can omit this if you like. I don’t ever measure my ingredients, and tend to just hope I can remember ingredients for the next time. My husband says this makes every meal unique! The consistency is more like a Southwest Chicken corn chowder then a chili but either way, it’s delicious!! We had cornbread as a side and everyone had more than one bowl!

The week before we’d tried the Italian flavored Cooking Creme in a pasta recipe that came with it and it was also a hit w/ the whole family!

I was excited to have bought these w/ $1.50 off coupon from the Sunday paper and I definitely got my money’s worth. I will definitely be keeping my eye on price and the papers for coupons, but I admit I picked up a third container last week without a coupon because I wanted to try another kind after having such great recipes with the first two attempts!

You should try if you are looking for ways to add variety to your meals or make mealtimes easier!

I’ve had so many posts floating around in this mind of mine and yet they are still there, taking up space and trapping my useful brain matter. Perhaps if I unload them I’ll be better able to focus, but I doubt it.

Been reminiscing these last few weeks as I’ve had time to deal with the emotions of having visited with family and overcome some tough things, again. Having my baby reach the milestone of age 5, which means he’ll be heading to kindergarten in the fall also stirs up many a memory and invokes feelings I don’t want to face.

In a couple of months I’ll be outsourced, the public school system will fully take over my 9-5, ok, my 8-2:30 position. What do I do with that time? Initially I was to start college myself, having already done so I feel like I can handle more than just college now. I’m been doing this for a while now and feel like I can do more than this, especially once Zeke is in school all day freeing up almost my whole day. Do I get a job? Do I become a true full time volunteer? Do I pick up extra college courses? Do I pick up an internship? Does it even matter because we all now how quickly in my life, months, let alone days or weeks can change everything and time I’m counting on now may not even matter come September.

I’m tired. I’m bored. I want to contribute in a bigger way than I am now. I’m discontent. There’s got to be more than this. Truly. Dean says I’m already doing too much. Heck everyone keeps telling me that. I feel like I’m not doing anything, and like if I don’t do something soon I’m going to burst. I hate feeling like I’m on the edge of something big, standing on the edge of the diving board and all that I need to do is dive off, but I can’t see what’s underneath me. There’s got to be someplace/someone/something that needs my talent/skills and is just waiting for me to be free to help them, just waiting for the door to open and for me to see when to walk through it. For now though, I hate standing behind closed doors in a room with no windows.

had an overwhelming emotional reaction to the smell of walking into the mall today, guessing his cologne was wafting from a nearby store, was amazingly frustrating. one day I’m going to figure out what that scent is exactly, thinking it might help to be prepared so it doesn’t keep happening or at least so I can buy a bottle and smash it to pieces for the heck of it. amazing how our senses can deceive us, just like those we think are important to us do.

We’ve told you it was true, but you may not have believed us. Everyone dreams of being in movies, I mean don’t we? Not everyone gets the chance. We’ve been blessed to make some great friends who make movies for the fun of it. The thing is they are crazy talented, and connected! Dean gave a week of his vacation time last year to devote to this movie, I helped provide food for the cast and crew and we prayed that things would go smoothly. So far things have and are continuing to look up as the movie’s won two awards already! Now it’s time for you to do the work! We are rewarding you already, here’s a free preview of the movie. And just to prove we weren’t lying to you, you can see Dean, and he has a few lines even!! He looks scruffy as usual, but that was his character so don’t blame him, blame the director! 😉 I am proud of him and everyone who worked to make this awesome, hilarious and amazing movie!! Don’t forget to pre-order your copy now!! Prices are cheaper now, they will only go up as demand goes up!! You can also follow them on Facebook too to stay in the know on the production process. If you are a Twitter fan, there’s also a Hitting the Nuts page there! So no matter how you do it, check it out before you realize you missed out on the coolest new movie of the year!! Don’t say I didn’t tell you so!

Last week I was in Maryland spending time with my family and friends. I was celebrating the birth of my friend’s newest addition to their family. I was also there to support my family as my dad prepared to undergo open heart surgery. Because of this, I missed another great Joe Boyd message. Although I missed this message, I learned a great deal while away. I learned a lot from my friend’s family. I learned that I have a lot to learn about how to be more patient with my kids. I learned that God truly does answer prayers, and sometimes the prayers of strangers are all it takes to show the doubting Christian that their Heavenly Father is truly with them, no matter when or where they are.

I learned that my God cares more about me and my life, and my family, and my years of unanswered prayers than I could have ever dreamed. That what I have thought was silence was really my own impatience and lack of faith. I know we’ve made it through so many trials and struggles in the last few years than most people we know, and I know I’m loved by many, but some days I feel so alone. Some days I feel like even God has abandoned me. But this last week, I felt God’s arms embrace me and show me his grace and mercy, not only towards me but towards those I love which reminded me how much more He loves each one of us.

Joe’s message last week is so much more poignant in light of the lessons I learned through living life. Life is meant to be lived with family and friends, and as hard as it is, those family and friends deserve to see the joy and love of Christ showing through every act you do. As a parent seeks out a lost child, a woman a lost coin, I sought out a lost parent for years and years, and God gave him back to me a millions times over this week and I am so blessed and my heart is over flowing with joy. My God heard my cries as a fatherless child, as a teen praying for her dad, as a young adult wishing for a dad to be there for her, and as a woman praying that her dad survives open heart surgery so he knows her children. Through all these years, my heart cried out to my God for my father, that his life would be saved, or at least that his story would intertwine with my own. How much more does our Heavenly Father seek after us, that we would turn to him with all of ourselves and that we would want our story to be guided by His divine will?

Listen to Joe’s message last week, starting at 5 minutes is good for last week, this weeks is good to but last weeks is amazing!! I am sad I missed it, but I was a little busy loving some folks that I needed to, who taught me things I needed to so that Joe’s message would mean so much more to me today.

http://networkedblogs.com/fmEtW

this is why it matters 500 miles, 32 years of pain, not sure why you don’t understand, I pray this helps