Wisdom from my walk

in a hurried last minute (almost) attempt to clear out some more junk out of Calebs room after realizing he needs room for his Christmas presesnts, I rearranged and cleaned his room.  I just dont know how we are going to put a crib in there when we need to, I am thinking baby # 3 will stay in our room until Bo is ready for a bed and then get bunk beds.   i was wondering if getting caleb a loft bed then putting the crib/toddler bed under it would work but I dont know how that would all work out and it would be silly to get a bed like that then need bunk beds eventually anyway.   Once the kids are alot older, and if we still are in this house we’ll give our room to Caleb then move our room downstairs but thats years away.   I mean would have plenty of room if Caleb had a different smaller dresser and/or a bookshelf so I’m sure we’ll make it work.  but now I’m stressing about room for the baby. i know we’ve got lots of time but that’s what preggo moms do right?

I’m really excited about Christmas this year.   Caleb is constantly walking around singing carols andit’s so darn cute.  He keeps telling everyone santa is bringing him a drum set, and luckily he is right!   I know he will be so happy on christmas with all of the things we got for him. i think bo is going to love his stuff too!   I just dont think we have room for much more.  Our playroom is filled, the boys rooms are full of toys.  I hate to get rid of too much stuff since it’s all stuff that Bo and Baby # 3 will want one day.    I just feel like our house is swimming in kid toys.   I know i do a good job containing it but it still drives me nuts!   ,br>
well it’s almost time to get caleb, today was the last day before winter break.    they are having a holiday party today and I chose not to go since they dont like sibling at school.  I was going to show up a little early but Bo is so tired and I dont think he’d cooperate.  I’m only letting Bo nap from 3-5 ish every day and so far he’s sleeping through the night that way, but that last hour waiting for time to go get caleb makes him so miserable.  he’s so ready for nap by 1:30 but I hate to put him down than have to wake him so i choose to keep him up so that he can nap when we get back and i have time alone to spend w/ caleb.   well gotta run it’s about time to bundle up the munchkin, going to walk there again today since it’s warmer than usual.     If I dont update again, have a happy holiday everyone!

this is the latest breaking news in baltimore today.  It all seems a little odd, not sure if they dont have all of the facts or cant share but it seems a little strange.   I’d love to know what the suspect does, from this website i cant figure out why he’d have a gun let alone shoot two other officers.    the news story says the suspect was an Officer for the Dept of General Services, whatever that is!  I usually could care less about this kind of news but since i have a cousin who is a cop everytime I hear news of something happening to an officer I get worried.    I just cant wait to hear what else comes out of this story and to see if we ever get all of the facts.    I’ve watched too many episodes of crossing jordan and csi to think this was anything routine that went wrong.   I feel very sad for the family members of these officers, esp. during this holiday season.

caleb came in our room this morning, looked out the window and said “this isnt right” I asked him what he meant.  He said, “it’s the first day of winter but it’s not snowing.  It’s supposed to be snowing.”  Not sure why he thinks that but it was cute!   Yesterday he was trying to convince us today was the last day of winter but i guess this morning he remembered correctly.  He was a little bummed that winter doesnt mean snow everyday!    Me, I’m looking forward to the 50 degree weather for Christmas weekend!

Bo loves being in the kichen/dining room. if anyone is in there and the baby gate is up he will do his best to throw himself over the couch to end up in there. so i gave up on the baby gate after he fell off the sofa resulting in not only a fit but a bad bout of throw up, no doubt the kid had a concussion from the fall! So these days I just try to keep it as much bo proof as possible in the kichen/dining room area but it’s hard. so knowing i wanted to make cookies today I knew I’d need something to keep the kid busy.  I brought up one of our play kitchens so he could have some parallel play. All was going well until he realized he could take the shelf out of the oven part and climb in. He’s too big to really fit but at one point had himself in there pretty good, he’s quite the contortionist! I went to grab a pic of him snug inside of it but the batteries on the camera died. dont know why this kid keeps climbing in things. he will crawl under our coffee table and end tables and just sit and play for a while. it’s kind of strange, but cute!

Aahhh. it’s so nice to see all the gifts we purchased wrapped up and labeled! I’ve spent my morning wrap, wrap, wrapping! Luckily I only had to buy one roll of wrapping paper as I had 2 rolls left from last year. i bought some snowman paper this year and some snowman labels and when I went downstairs looking for more paper I had 2 other rolls of different snowman wrapping paper! So everything looks like it was planned that way, too cute!

Meanwhile as I wrapped, for the first hour Bo slept, and slept….last night before bed I said a quick pray that he’d sleep all night and dosed him up w/ some cold medicine w/ tylenol and orajel for that new tooth coming through. I woke up at 3:30 am to go potty and realized he hadnt woken us up. I awoke shortly before 7 to the same realization. it was awesome! When he still hadnt woken when Caleb and Dean left I worried but he seemed fine. I kept doing laundry and wrapping gifts, he decided to bless me with his prescence around 8:30. He slept for 12 hours without a fuss. Dont know if it was the added meds or just that we fought so hard w/ him these last few nights to get him to get himself to sleep without our help. pray it wasnt a fluke and that this is his christmas gift to us. Once he was up this is what bo decided to do while I wrapped:

Last night Dean had taken the time to clean up under there which I think is funny cause now Bo has taken everything out and found a home there! For a better perspective of just where he is(please ignore my messy cluttered hutch!)

I dont know if he’s trying to tell me I need to clean up
my kitchen or what but the other day he took it upon himself after we took out our bin of tupperware type containers in this closet and climbed in to grab all the lids that were in the back of that cabinet.

Dean and I were able to actually attend and sit through (together)a service uninterrupted at church for the first time in well over a month.  It was so nice to be with him there.  The last two times I have gone alone, Dean has attended the early service and I and the boys the later so he could get to work on time.   The first time was horribly stressful on me and last time I got called in to help out in nursery half way through since I’m the leader and the helper who was there got sick.  Next weekend we’ll be attending the first christmas eve service at church then working in nursery during the second service.    On Christmas day they are only having one service and we arent going to attend but instead will be having brunch w/ my fathers side of the family.

I tend to stress early about attending these kind of family things and it starts to show outwardly before I even realize why I am feeling the way I do.   the holidays and visiting my dad is always interesting and I start to stress about it without knowing why.  this year as I sat in church worshipping one of the singers during a devotion like time told us to reflect on how God is our Father.   If anything about my faith I understand clearly is that for years I have clung to the hope that my heavenly Father will never leave or forsake me.  That HE  is my constant.    Turns out that is what the message was about today, reminding us that God is our unchanging always present and caring Father.  that if you take every thing positive you can think of about what a good Father would be that wouldnt begin to sum up who our Heavenly Father is.    oddly I didnt need this reminder this week.   I have recently decided that I will not let this stress me out anymore.    A mere man will not cause me to ruin my weeks/days and times of celebration with family I love because of the fear and stress I face when dealing with him.   I love my earthly father, he is just that though, for years I have clung to the realization that no matter what I have a Father who loves me and who is always there for me despite my flaws, lineage, or just about anything, that fact and that fact alone is what draws me to my God time and time again.  When I start to get stressed and life overwhelms me and all i want is to run into my fathers arm and feel loved, I know I can get that, not with any man on earth but with someone much greater who has much more love for me than I can ever know.   I only hope that this holiday season I can show HIS love to my extended family and friends and instead of showing and feeling stressed over things I have no control over that I can continue to have Faith and Hope in my Father to take care of everything.  so ok maybe i did need a little reminder this week, but dont we all now and again?

I thought it interesting that today as I thought of fathers I thought of the one father in my life who is doing an amazing job lately, my wonderful hubby.  We’ve had a very stressful month or so.  financially it will continue to be for a little while, and health wise who knows what to expect from the rest of the flu/winter season or pregnancy at that.   through it all he’s put up with my complaints and he works 7 days a week to make sure we have money to make the holidays special to our kids as well as to make up some fundage to make the two car situation work out.    He’s only got one more extra day to work this month, christmas eve at the tree lot.    Today as i talked to him before he left there to come home I realized how relieved I am that this month is almost over.  I’m so spoiled to have him here after his comfy schedule of 8-5 M-F.   that after next weekend he’s all ours again. not that we do anything special on weekends per se, but just being together as a family, and well not feeling like  a single parent 24/7 is helpful too.  I know he will probably have to work events off and on to make some extra cash when we need it, but this month has really been hard.  I’m sure if the kids hadnt been sick it wouldnt have seemed nearly as stressful, did I mention Bo is budding another new tooth, which I think is what kept us up every 2 hours last night?  well point is, it’s important to me as a parent to do my best for our kids.  that they grow up in a loving and safe environment, and that their needs are met.  I couldnt do any of those things alone, my husband is an awesome father.   when I think of “good” fathers or positive experiences of seeing a father in action, I think of him.  used to be I always looked at my FIL with awe and I still do , but as the kids get older I see in Dean the makings of a wonderful father, he is indeed following in the footsteps of his own father, earthly and heavenly, and I know my kids and I are blessed to have him in our family.  so thanks honey and thanks diaz(and Donna too!) for raising such an awesome man of God and father in Dean.